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Are Beautiful Women or Handsome Men Really More Confident Than Ordinary People?

Are Beautiful Women or Handsome Men Really More Confident Than Ordinary People?

True Confidence Isn’t an Appearance

“You can only be confident if you’re handsome”… Super helpful advice, right?

It’s astounding just how many people have fallen into this fallacy that handsome or beautiful people are the only confident people in the world. Why is it that society has focused solely on the aspect of physical beauty? Especially to assign a value on something that’s so absurdly vague? Think about it for a second, we take something that is generally only a person’s opinion, and then just base an aspect of life on it?

Absolutely bonkers. There’s a quote by Barrie Davenport, the writer and operator of Live Bold and Bloom. When it comes down to Self-Confidence and Beauty, she says:

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“True beauty is the flame of self-confidence shining from the inside out.”
– 
Barrie Davenport

Think about that for a moment. Beauty coming from within. Here’s a fact about that life that most individuals realize at different points. Physical beauty doesn’t last, it’s fleeting. So then let’s break this down, even if you have an absurd amount of money available to help maintain a sense of beauty in yourself, your good looks WILL in fact disappear, it’s a part of life! Why base your entire self-esteem on something that will eventually vanish? That isn’t confidence, it’s a fallacy as there’s nothing you can really do to make it last.

The truth is that most people who base their confidence on their looks are actually really don’t have confidence at all. “Everyone else needs to think i’m gorgeous or else I’m not good enough” is a very poor mindset to have. In fact, there are many celebrities that even with their good looks didn’t have any confidence for a long time. Here’s a truth…

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True Confidence isn’t Beauty

Many people believe that famous people are all looks and that’s why they achieved what they have. But there are quite a few celebrities that were quite shy before accomplishing the things they love to do. Bob Dylan, the famed folk singer for example. He was shy and not at all confident in his ability to play guitar or write songs, yet now he’s one of the most prolific musicians we have. Tina Fey and Tom Cruise as well. Both of them are massively famous actors, yet both suffered from not being confident for YEARS before either of them hit it big!

None of them changed their physical beauty when they became famous either. All that truly changed in their lives was that they went out and took on the world and won. They dreamed and dared to chase it! That’s a true basis of being confident, going after and doing what you love, even if it seems crazy.

So instead of basing your confidence on an opinion, try and rewire your brain a little bit. See the cool thing about life and psychology is that you have the ability to control your brain. The way you associate certain aspects of your life is a powerful concept. There was a reason that you decided to associate your confidence with other peoples beauty right? Instead of just associating it with something that’s just a loose concept, it’s time to build a solid foundation for yourself. It’s time to rethink your confidence.

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True Confidence Comes From Challenges and Passion

True confidence comes from two different things, challenges, and passions. People who have true confidence aren’t focused about how they look, but what they’re working on in life! The challenges people encounter in their lives are often viewed as just obstacles. But, think about how you feel as you overcome those challenges. During the period of stress, you’re unhappy, frustrated, and probably upset. But once you get over the hump, you tend to feel empowered right?

It almost makes you feel as if you can do anything, you look back at it later in life, and smile because you’ve come so far from those low points! Plus, the struggles happen periodically to just to make sure that you stay on your toes and keep moving forward. So here’s a crazy theory, what if those challenges are there to help inspire a definite sense of confidence in you? What if those barriers are there to not just challenge you, but inspire you to keep moving? Being able to be confident is more of a sense of being able to rely on yourself to take on each day.

So instead, base your confidence on your ability to handle challenges and come out on the other side. That way instead of having to gather other people’s opinions on who you are, you’ll have the knowledge in yourself. Plus, it’s useful feeling as if you made another notch in your belt after each challenge. That way you can feel as if the world just keeps re-certifying the knowledge that you can do anything. But that’s only half the equation.

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The other half is based more on personal fulfillment. It’s not enough alone to be able to rely on yourself. Confidence is also a matter of being content and happy with who you are and what you do. If the first half of the equation was to make sure that your mind feel challenged, the other half is to make sure that your heart is content.

The way you accomplish this is to build upon your own sense of happiness. How, you ask? Well, what are the things in your life that make you happy? What activities do you do in your world that when you’re done, you find yourself feeling happy and fulfilled? Do you have those things in your mind? Good, go do them! Those things in your life are your passions, they are the things that make you want to jump out of bed and shout.

If you don’t have those things, then that is simply your latest challenge. Finding your passions, finding your hobbies is integral to making sure you’re a confident individual. Confidence is part reliance, part fulfillment. Believing in yourself and being happy sounds a lot more valid than relying on the fleeting aspect of looks, doesn’t it?

So, that’s really what you need to increase your confidence, start challenging yourself, break from the norm. Life presents us with new opportunities every day, start taking them. Second, start discovering the things you love to do. If you’ve already got passions, awesome! It’s time to start building on them. Having a great life is dependent on being confident, and confidence comes from growing. You can read on How To Boost Your Self-Confidence in 5 Easy Steps.

Life = Growth. Now get out there and start living!

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Last Updated on September 26, 2018

10 Inspirational Books That Can Change Your Life

10 Inspirational Books That Can Change Your Life

If you want to change your life, you are going to have to do things differently. Sometimes you can look to inspirational books to create a positive change in your life. If you desire change, you are going to have to step out of your comfort zone. As Anthony Robbins points out in the quote below, you are going have to experience discomfort and pain in order to transform your life. Any change, whether it be an organisation or personal, can be a painful process. However, the rewards of going through the change process are priceless.

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting an empowering new belief” – Anthony Robbins

There are two specific events that threw my life into a tailspin, where for a while there it felt like I was losing control. These two events were, the sudden and tragic loss of my parents, and being made redundant three times in eighteen months.

With the third redundancy, I was at my lowest point in my life. I felt utterly useless. My self-confidence was at zero, and I could see no future for me.

My life was turned upside down. I knew that I had to turn it around. I just didn’t know how.

Then one wet Sunday afternoon, I picked up a book from my bookshelf called ,“The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown. I had this book for at least a year and had been meaning to read it, but hadn’t gone anywhere near a book for months.

When I read this book, I decided that I needed to get my life back. I needed to learn how to heal and rebuild my confidence, as well as my self belief.

So I started to read books. I read lots of books about inspirational stories on life, love, and happiness. Personal development and motivational books were full of information, tools, and strategies about how I could take control back and change my life. I would like to share with you the inspirational messages I got from reading these ten books that changed my life.

Read these 10 books because I believe they will inspire you, motivate you, and show you how to take action and go change your life!

    Awaken The Giant Within

    by Anthony Robbins
    The inspirational message from this book is how you have the power right now to control how you think, how you feel, and what you do. Anything you want or desire in your life, you already have the power to achieve it.

    “You and I have that same power at our disposal every moment of the day. At the moment, the questions that we ask ourselves can shape our perception of who we are, what we’re capable of, and what we’re willing to do to achieve our dreams” – Anthony Robbins

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      Screw It Lets Do It: Lessons in Life

      by Richard Branson
      Reading other people’s stories about their journeys in life can give you better perspective of what the journey of change can be about. Richard Branson is into reinvention and as a result, he embraces change.

      This book will fuel your enthusiasm to give things a go. It will show you how to sort out the self-limiting beliefs that stop you from stepping up and taking on the challenge of change.

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      “As soon as something stops being fun, I think it’s time to move on. Life is too short to be unhappy. Waking up stressed and miserable is not a good way to live” – Richard Branson

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        The Art of Happiness

        by Dalai Lama

        There is not a person I know who is not in the pursuit of happiness.

        “The Art of Happiness” is a book that will encourage you to practice the discipline of self-reflection.The more you reflect on your life, the deeper you look into your inner self (your soul). This is where you discover what happiness truly means to you.

        Knowing what happiness means to you, gives you purpose. With purpose, you’ll have clarity, focus, and a vision. These are the foundations that will empower you to embark on the journey to change your life.

        “Both these people illustrate the essential point that happiness is determined more by one’s state of mind than by external events.” – Dalai Lama

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          The Four Agreements

          by Don Miguel Ruiz

          “The Four Agreements” are Don Miguel’s code for life.

          “The Four Agreements” provide an inspirational code for life, for the way you handle your relationships, how you behave, and how you communicate with others. If you want to change your life, read “The Four Agreements”. This book will show you how to attain a happy fulfilled life.

          “If you live in a past dream, you don’t enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is. There is no time to miss anyone or anything because you are alive. Not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive. This leads to self pity, suffering and tears.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

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            The Magic of Thinking Big

            by David J Schwartz

            According to Dr Schwartz, to create change in your life and to attain all that you desire, you need to change your thinking and your attitude.

            The importance of preparing your mind and your thinking for the journey of personal change is the key message of this book.

            “Those who believe they can move mountains, do. Those who believe they can’t, cannot. Belief triggers the power to do.” – David J. Schwartz.

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              Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul: How To Create A New You

              by Deepak Chopra

              Deepak Chopra believes that personal transformation not only involves the mind, but also your body and soul. According to Chopra, you cannot transform your mind without transforming your body and soul.

              Reading this book will encourage you to think about the potential energy force and power you hold within you. This energy grows when you are connected and aligned to your mind, body, and soul.

              “The key to transformation is that you create the change you want to see in yourself.” – Deepak Chopra

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                The Greatest Salesman In The World

                by Og Mandino

                This little classic has been around since 1968. Have you ever wondered what truly successful people have in common?

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                This book doesn’t really tell you how to be a great salesperson. It will; however, give you some fantastic tips on how to be an entrepreneur, how to self-motivate, and how to think like a successful person.

                The underlying message is the power of positive thinking – that you become what you think, say, and do. This book has great tactics for those of us in the process of change.

                “My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust, my goals are impossible. All are of no value unless they are followed by action.” – Og Mandino

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                  Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

                  by Richard Carlson

                  This book helps you to manage the small stuff in your life that is usually creating the most pain in your life. This very supportive book is full of great practical suggestions on how you can live a more joyful and peaceful life.

                  “True happiness comes not when we get rid of all of our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice, and to learn.” – Richard Carlson

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                    Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard

                    by Chip & Dan Heath

                    Have you ever tried to lose weight or get fit and never reached your goal? You know that you have to make changes in your life, but you don’t know how?

                    If you are nodding in agreement, then you need to read “Switch“. If I had to recommend one book that shows you how to create and maintain lasting change in your life – then it would be “Switch“.

                    In this book, Chip and Dan share the Secret as to how you can create and sustain change in your life.

                    Hint: It has something to do with knowing how to “Direct The Rider”, “Motivate The Elephant”, and “Shape the Path.”

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                    This book, without a doubt, will show you how to change your life.

                    “When you’re at the beginning, don’t obsess about the middle, because the middle is going to look different once you get there. Just look for a strong beginning and a strong ending and get moving.” – Chip & Dan Heath

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                      The Gifts of Imperfection

                      by Brene Brown

                      Do you ever feel that you are just not worthy enough, intelligent enough, or courageous enough to live a fulfilled happy life?

                      Do you have secret dreams that you hold deep inside of you that you don’t share in case someone thinks they are silly? Or are you too scared to follow your dreams because you fear that you may fail?

                      Brene Brown’s book, “The Gifts of Imperfection”, will show you how to find your courage, as well as rediscover your self-belief and self-worth.

                      This is the book that will get you prepared to embark on your journey of change. “The Gifts of Imperfection” is about you learning how to let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are.

                      “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy — the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” – Brene Brown

                      These 10 books were key to helping me change my life. I rediscovered hope for my future. I found my courage, strength, and my self-belief. I hope that by reading these books, you will find the same inspiration and motivation to take up the challenge and change your life.

                      “If one reads enough books one has a fighting chance. Or better, one’s chances of survival increase with each book one reads.” – Sherman Alexie

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