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Are Beautiful Women or Handsome Men Really More Confident Than Ordinary People?

Are Beautiful Women or Handsome Men Really More Confident Than Ordinary People?

True Confidence Isn’t an Appearance

“You can only be confident if you’re handsome”… Super helpful advice, right?

It’s astounding just how many people have fallen into this fallacy that handsome or beautiful people are the only confident people in the world. Why is it that society has focused solely on the aspect of physical beauty? Especially to assign a value on something that’s so absurdly vague? Think about it for a second, we take something that is generally only a person’s opinion, and then just base an aspect of life on it?

Absolutely bonkers. There’s a quote by Barrie Davenport, the writer and operator of Live Bold and Bloom. When it comes down to Self-Confidence and Beauty, she says:

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“True beauty is the flame of self-confidence shining from the inside out.”
– 
Barrie Davenport

Think about that for a moment. Beauty coming from within. Here’s a fact about that life that most individuals realize at different points. Physical beauty doesn’t last, it’s fleeting. So then let’s break this down, even if you have an absurd amount of money available to help maintain a sense of beauty in yourself, your good looks WILL in fact disappear, it’s a part of life! Why base your entire self-esteem on something that will eventually vanish? That isn’t confidence, it’s a fallacy as there’s nothing you can really do to make it last.

The truth is that most people who base their confidence on their looks are actually really don’t have confidence at all. “Everyone else needs to think i’m gorgeous or else I’m not good enough” is a very poor mindset to have. In fact, there are many celebrities that even with their good looks didn’t have any confidence for a long time. Here’s a truth…

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True Confidence isn’t Beauty

Many people believe that famous people are all looks and that’s why they achieved what they have. But there are quite a few celebrities that were quite shy before accomplishing the things they love to do. Bob Dylan, the famed folk singer for example. He was shy and not at all confident in his ability to play guitar or write songs, yet now he’s one of the most prolific musicians we have. Tina Fey and Tom Cruise as well. Both of them are massively famous actors, yet both suffered from not being confident for YEARS before either of them hit it big!

None of them changed their physical beauty when they became famous either. All that truly changed in their lives was that they went out and took on the world and won. They dreamed and dared to chase it! That’s a true basis of being confident, going after and doing what you love, even if it seems crazy.

So instead of basing your confidence on an opinion, try and rewire your brain a little bit. See the cool thing about life and psychology is that you have the ability to control your brain. The way you associate certain aspects of your life is a powerful concept. There was a reason that you decided to associate your confidence with other peoples beauty right? Instead of just associating it with something that’s just a loose concept, it’s time to build a solid foundation for yourself. It’s time to rethink your confidence.

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True Confidence Comes From Challenges and Passion

True confidence comes from two different things, challenges, and passions. People who have true confidence aren’t focused about how they look, but what they’re working on in life! The challenges people encounter in their lives are often viewed as just obstacles. But, think about how you feel as you overcome those challenges. During the period of stress, you’re unhappy, frustrated, and probably upset. But once you get over the hump, you tend to feel empowered right?

It almost makes you feel as if you can do anything, you look back at it later in life, and smile because you’ve come so far from those low points! Plus, the struggles happen periodically to just to make sure that you stay on your toes and keep moving forward. So here’s a crazy theory, what if those challenges are there to help inspire a definite sense of confidence in you? What if those barriers are there to not just challenge you, but inspire you to keep moving? Being able to be confident is more of a sense of being able to rely on yourself to take on each day.

So instead, base your confidence on your ability to handle challenges and come out on the other side. That way instead of having to gather other people’s opinions on who you are, you’ll have the knowledge in yourself. Plus, it’s useful feeling as if you made another notch in your belt after each challenge. That way you can feel as if the world just keeps re-certifying the knowledge that you can do anything. But that’s only half the equation.

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The other half is based more on personal fulfillment. It’s not enough alone to be able to rely on yourself. Confidence is also a matter of being content and happy with who you are and what you do. If the first half of the equation was to make sure that your mind feel challenged, the other half is to make sure that your heart is content.

The way you accomplish this is to build upon your own sense of happiness. How, you ask? Well, what are the things in your life that make you happy? What activities do you do in your world that when you’re done, you find yourself feeling happy and fulfilled? Do you have those things in your mind? Good, go do them! Those things in your life are your passions, they are the things that make you want to jump out of bed and shout.

If you don’t have those things, then that is simply your latest challenge. Finding your passions, finding your hobbies is integral to making sure you’re a confident individual. Confidence is part reliance, part fulfillment. Believing in yourself and being happy sounds a lot more valid than relying on the fleeting aspect of looks, doesn’t it?

So, that’s really what you need to increase your confidence, start challenging yourself, break from the norm. Life presents us with new opportunities every day, start taking them. Second, start discovering the things you love to do. If you’ve already got passions, awesome! It’s time to start building on them. Having a great life is dependent on being confident, and confidence comes from growing. You can read on How To Boost Your Self-Confidence in 5 Easy Steps.

Life = Growth. Now get out there and start living!

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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