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3 Simple Lists That Can Change Your Outlook On Life

3 Simple Lists That Can Change Your Outlook On Life

Life is busy, isn’t it? Pick up your pen and a notepad and get started with these 3 simple lists.

Watch how it transforms you!

1. List of things which you are grateful for

An example of a list you might make:

  • I have a very happy family. We can laugh together and be with each other through thick and thin.
  • My baby boy (or darling daughter) is the best thing in the world. I feel blessed to have my child in my life.
  • I look forward to doing my job every day.
  • My boss is really great.
  • I have financial stability in life. I don’t have to worry about money.
  • I have this possession which I particularly like – it’s my guitar (or my canvas stand, or my camera….). It lies away in a corner, but many-a-times it has saved me from emotional breakdown!
  • I have a loving wife (or husband). Few people are as happy as I am with my partner.
  • I am in touch with my parents.
  • I am usually inherently peaceful.
  • I had a good education.
  • I feel grateful for the presence of my aunt in my life. She was a friend to me throughout my childhood and made me what I am today.
  • I feel grateful for my high school Math teacher Mr. Francis. He helped shape me as a person.
  • I have a beautiful third-space where I can retire whenever I feel like, and get refreshed.
  • ……………………………….and so on.

There can be many more things in your list. Add them and elaborate!!

Spend a few minutes and make it as personal and detailed as you possibly can. When you answer something with a YES, just write one line as to how you satisfying it feels to have it in your life. You could write something like:

I feel blessed to have my daughter. The other day when I was back from the office, she hugged me and started complaining about everything under the sun. I felt like I had the world in my arms!

OR

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My boss is the best one that I could have hoped for! It’s such a relief after that old job of mine.

OR

Without my educational background, I would not be so well-settled by now.”

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    2. List of reasons why your partner is perfect for you

    Example of such a list (from a man’s point of view):

    • I love my wife. She is my woman! I could not live my life with anyone else.
    • We make up an awesome team! Where I lack, she steps ahead. Where she lacks, I compensate.
    • We have perfect intellectual compatibility. When I say something, she understands me.
    • We can laugh our heart out with everyone else watching us like mad people. Our sense of humor is perfectly compatible.
    • She is my wife, but she’s also as cute as my girl, and sometimes as dominating as a mother. I find a lot of personalities in her.
    • She is an independent woman. I respect her for her ethical strength.
    • I feel lucky to be loved by her. I have seen how relationships can reach a dead-end. That’s not the case with us.
    • I feel like she loves me even more than I love her.
    • We have complete faith in one another. Trust is one issue we never worry about.
    • She respects me for the person I am.
    • She is intelligent and very good at her job. She is appreciated by everyone at her work. I feel proud of her professionalism.
    • She has given me some very bright ideas about my decisions in life.
    • We travel like crazy and love every bit of it. That’s something which we look forward to doing every year.
    • We keep doing crazy stuff and it makes me feel younger! Last time, we decided to attempt a tough trek even though we had no experience!!
    • We are not bound by a responsibility. That’s something that came about naturally. It never felt like a burden to take care of her. Rather, I like it!
    • She is very broadminded.
    • ………………………………….and so on.

    Many of the above may be applicable to you whether you are a man or a woman, whether you are married or in a committed relationship, or living together for a while.

    Do not forget to elaborate on each point.

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    Simple lists

      3. List of people who are concerned about you

      Who thinks about you at least once every day?

      If you have one person on this list you are doing great! Most people have only one person. Anything more is fantastic!

      If you have more than three people in the world who think about you every day, you are a very lucky person!

      Why am I making these Simple Lists? Why spend time on such things?

      A man driving a Ferrari sees a chopper flying above, and wishes: “I should get myself one of those!

      The man driving a Chevy watches the Ferrari and wishes: “Hey, a fancy car! I could have that!

      A man on a motorcycle, passing by the Chevy, tells himself: “If I could buy a car, it would not be strenuous to ride to the office every day.

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      A young man on his bike watches the motorcycle and thinks: “That looks really cool!”

      A man working on a farm, walking his kid to school, watches the youth on the bike and thinks: “What if I had a bike for myself?

      Meanwhile, the pilot of that chopper looks down at the beautiful farm and thinks: “I wish I had a simple life where I could just walk my kid to school.”

      Simple lists to contemplate

        Life is often filled with complaints, filled with many things we want (small and big). There are hundreds of jobs we have to do every day and yet we do not get what we deserve. No matter how much they have, very few people are actually happy.

        Most of us run around every day forgetting that there are so many things we have that others do not. Relationships are often taken for granted.

        Take some time off. Contemplate.

        Realize that there are so many people around the world who would trade their right hand to be in your place. Making these simple lists above will help you realize what you really have.

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        Look at these lists when you feel down or unlucky in life.

        You will be amazed by the immense peace this realization brings.

        Photo Credits:

        Old man by the beach, Laughing girl, Couple picture : Free Images

        Featured Image: Photo taken by Captain D

        Featured photo credit: Free Images via freeimages.com

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        Last Updated on July 10, 2020

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

        We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

        So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

        Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

        What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

        Boundaries are limits

        —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

        Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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        Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

        Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

        Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

        How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

        Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

        1. Self-Awareness Comes First

        Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

        You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

        To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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        You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

        • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
        • When do you feel disrespected?
        • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
        • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
        • When do you want to be alone?
        • How much space do you need?

        You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

        2. Clear Communication Is Essential

        Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

        Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

        3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

        Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

        That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

        Sample language:

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        • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
        • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
        • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
        • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
        • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
        • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
        • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

        Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

        4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

        Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

        Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

        Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

        We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

        It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

        It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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        Final Thoughts

        Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

        Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

        Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

        The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

        Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

        Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

        They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

        Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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