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On Average People Can Only Withstand 25 Seconds Of Direct Questioning On Their Life Plans

On Average People Can Only Withstand 25 Seconds Of Direct Questioning On Their Life Plans

Picture those moments when you have been directly questioned about your life goals. You have a plan, you have a vivid idea in mind of where you are setting out to be, you are confident in your plan, and you are ready to proceed with determination.

But are there things you have forgotten? Are there parts of your plan, structural parts, that first need work, so that if, or when, you come into such lines of questioning, you can confidently withstand them and feel just as determined with the success of your idea afterward? There may be some reasons that we feel the pressure when confronted by questions of our life plans.

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Define your goals

Studies show that most people, when thinking about their goals or life plans, can only withstand a number of seconds of questioning before they trail off into evasiveness, silence, or mumbling self doubt. What this indicates is that there has not been a strong plan, or a strategy put in place to achieve their goals.

Studies also show that most times it is the question “How will you fund this idea?” or “Where will you find the money for this venture?” that unravels the confidence in the person’s idea. This is the point where, upon further thought, the realisation dawns that there needs to be a powerful strategic breakdown for the plan in order to achieve the goals. The problem here is that many people mistake goals for strategies, when they are not the same thing. In order to achieve our goals we first need to define them.

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Support your goals

We then need to find ways to support those goals. This is called strategy. Without this in place we cannot clearly understand the progress of our goals, or tweak them as is necessary on the journey to achieving them. When you differentiate between goal and strategy, you begin to understand that strategy is a form of problem solving. The problem being that we are trying to work out how to reach the goal.

Unfortunately, some people think that they have defined a good strategy, when really they are listing tactics and ideas for how the proposed goal will be met. However if these tactics are not strongly proactive in achievement, they are merely activities, and not strategies at all.

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A strategy needs to be a direct, firm plan of attack that can be carried out and tested along the way to ensure its success. Strategy is action. Further goals can then be added to the plan of attack to ensure that progress is made.

Succeed with your goals

Many people are also privy to social proof bias. This is when we enlist an idea, or continue down a certain route with an idea, because this is what other people think or do. We are contoured by the actions of others and how we think we should proceed, and so we might now know exactly what it is we want to achieve because we have automatically linked our ideas to those of others.

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Instead we should evaluate the plan based on our own ideas and desires. We should approach our goals with our own values in mind, and use a strategic system whilst using our own ideas to get the desired result we truly want. Use the ‘5 whys’ and continue to ask yourself why you want this, why this is your life plan, why you thought of it, why you will continue to endeavor with it, why you will succeed at it, personally and for your own good reasons.

Strip back the idea until you have found the root cause, the reason you wish to create both goal and strategy, and formulate your ideas surrounding this interrogation. Should you then be asked about your life goals, nobody will be able to shake your progress or fundamental idea.

Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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