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Do These Eight Things Now To Be A Lady Of Leisure In Five Years

Do These Eight Things Now To Be A Lady Of Leisure In Five Years

If you’re tired of working your butt off and can’t see a foreseeable end to your hectic lifestyle, it’s time to plan ahead. Who doesn’t want to be a lady of leisure? Lounging around in your comfy clothes all day while reading a book or maybe even hanging out in a hammock all day listening to ocean waves. If this sounds like your kind of lifestyle, here are some fun steps to get you there.

1. Get a second income.

While it may not be your favorite idea to add more responsibility to your life, getting a second income can be really relaxing. Your second income should be something you really like to do. If you can find a way to make money from the hobby or skill you adore, you’ll have ample energy to do it. For example, if you’re really good at making lavender pillows, then make a bunch. Sell them on Etsy or get a booth at a farmer’s market on weekends. You’ll spend less and make a bit of extra income that won’t be taxed.

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2. Buy stuff and sell it.

This is similar to the first point but if you’re more of an analytical person than a creative one, you might like to buy for cheap and sell for more. This can be easily done on platforms like eBay. To get familiar with how things work on eBay like price points to start with and when people buy what, sell some of the things around the house you’re not using anymore. When you’ve got it figured out, you can start to buy things on eBay for a cheap price. For example, buy up snowboard jackets in the spring and hold onto them until the winter.

3. Be mindful of your expenses.

It takes dedication to become a lady of leisure so you’ll want to reduce your spending in order to put money away. It doesn’t have to be boring, if you’re creative you can still spoil yourself. Instead of spending a day at the spa, make your own natural products at home. Instead of going out for pricey dinner with your friends, invite them over for gourmet dinners at your place. If you love fancy coffees, invest in an espresso machine and make them yourself.

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4. Develop your own business slowly.

The goal here is to create something that will give you recurring monthly income later on. For example, you can start your own blog, get lots of followers, and use Google AdWords to make money. You can also create your own ebook and sell that too (on your super popular blog). Brand yourself daily through Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and other social media sites. Do something that doesn’t cost a lot of money and work on it consistently.

5. Get someone else to take care of your thriving business.

If your business doesn’t self manage, you’ll want to find someone who can manage it at some point. When you’re ready to lay in a hammock for the rest of your life, find an operations manager to handle your business. Find someone bright and reliable and integrate them into the business at least six months before you’re ready to walk away from it. That way, they’ll know what they’re doing and can run your business effectively.

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6. Work at a place that saves money.

If you love the finer things in life and don’t want to give them up, work in that sector. For example, if you can’t live without expensive clothes, work part time at your favorite design house. You’re already passionate about their clothing so you’ll probably make great money in commissions. You’ll also get decent discounts that will allow you to purchase your favorite clothes at a price you can afford.

7. Buy something that will increase in value later.

A good example of something that increased in value is the Cabbage Patch Kid. They were a big deal in the 80’s and today, the original doll is worth up to $50,000. Look around for the hot item of today in toys, cars that will become vintage in a few years, beauty products that don’t expire or jewelry. You can find random items at antique stores, second hand stores, eBay, and yard sales. Hold onto your investment for the next few years and resell them when they’re a hot item again.

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8. Figure out which affordable tropical location you want to call home.

Unless you’re really lucky with all of the above, your lady of leisure lifestyle probably won’t land you an apartment in the middle of Manhattan. With that said, there are wonderful places all around the world that allow you to live a laid back lifestyle for much cheaper. Source out what time zone you want to live in, how much you can afford to spend monthly and start looking for a warm location to enjoy. The nice thing about being a lady of leisure is you aren’t tied down to any one spot.

Featured photo credit: Taz/flickr via flickr.com

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Loraine Couturier

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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