Advertising
Advertising

How To Let Go Of Who You Thought You Were

How To Let Go Of Who You Thought You Were

Consciousness of being is a great and powerful gift. At first, our understanding and our learnings are somewhat superficial. As infants and children, they are related to our most basic needs. Yet, as we grow into adulthood, our minds expand with knowledge. Everybody’s story is different and everybody’s experiences shape who they are. Their choices shape who they will become. It is important, however, to stop and pause and ask yourself how your relationship is going.

What relationship? Your relationship with yourself, of course!

Advertising

We must ask “Am I happy? Do I like myself? Am I who I always thought I would be?”. Sometimes, we are stuck without realizing it. Whether by outside or internal influence, we may have become a person we are not entirely satisfied with. The beauty of this, however, is that we can always change things. Identifying the problem is the biggest step. So, if we do find ourselves in a place where we want things to change, either slightly or a lot, we can take considerable measures to do so.

Always be open to change

When we stay in a certain lifestyle or situation for a long time, we have a tendency to just continue on without thinking too much about it. But when we begin to ask the questions “Is this everything I wanted for myself? Could things possibly be different somehow?” we open ourselves to the possibility of something new. Things can, and always do, change. We just need to recognize it.

Advertising

Know that your thoughts can be malleable

We may be cemented in ideas that we absolutely believe to be true. They may have been passed down to us from our parents or families, or they may be things that we have experienced and are true to us. But if we can approach life with the idea that our thoughts can change, we are then opening ourselves to newness.

Understand that everyone and everything is teaching you (even when you don’t particularly like it)

We may not like everyone and everything that comes into our path, but sometimes the things we dislike are the things that will teach us the most about ourselves. Everything new that we come into contact with is teaching us something. We only have control over ourselves; where we are, how we react, and what we choose to learn from a situation. These are our choices. Don’t shy away from the things that are different or unusual or even unpleasant. Understand that diversity can be the very thing that heals you. Acceptance is paramount.

Advertising

Change it up

If you are beginning to recognize some unhappiness or malcontent, change things up. While this is not always easy, change things to the best of your ability. You will gain a new perspective on things that maybe you had no real idea about. You may end up walking a mile in another person’s shoes. You may end up walking a mile in no shoes at all. By simply putting yourself into newness, however, you are at the very least exposing yourself to possibility and new ideas. Change is as good as a holiday.

Never stop learning

It’s not a bad thing to say that you have sensibly changed your mind. In fact, it is a great thing. It means we are learning, it means we are looking up, at each other, and working with each other to understand each other’s lives better. It means we are loving and having experiences. Imagine if we always stayed the same?

Advertising

Never stop learning, never stop discussing, never stop peacefully exchanging thoughts and words and opinions. Your new self is constantly an amalgamation of all of your old selves combined with the greatness you continue to expose yourself to. And always remember that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, right now.

Featured photo credit: Albumarium via albumarium.com

More by this author

25+ Quotes That Bring You Inner Peace To Face With Every Challenge What Is Lactose Intolerance And What To Do If You Have It Nutritionists Say Granola Bars Are Just Dressed Up Junk Food Researchers Explain Why People Often Feel Disappointed In The Dating World 3 Effective Home Remedies For Annoying Eczema

Trending in Communication

1 7 Ways To Deal With Negative People 2 How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward 3 What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships 4 How To Stop Negative Thoughts from Killing Your Confidence 5 This 4-Year Old Girl’s Explanation On the Problem with New Year’s Resolutions Is Everything You Need

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

Advertising

In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

Advertising

But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

Advertising

5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

Advertising

You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

Read Next