Advertising
Advertising

The Older You Get, The Fewer Friends You’ll Keep (But That’s Really Fine)

The Older You Get, The Fewer Friends You’ll Keep (But That’s Really Fine)

You may have noticed that as time goes by you seem to be keeping in contact with fewer and fewer friends. Don’t worry this is probably a good thing. As we get older, the friendships that last are normally those that are deeper and more sincere. You may have fewer friends, but those who have stayed in touch are more loyal and have truly stood the test of time.

As you get older you may find that you experience the following:

Advertising

The more you have gone through

With age, comes experience. As you pass through life you go through many trials. As you get older, you find that there are a few friends who have supported you during these difficult times. You learn to depend on those select few and have little time for people who were not there when you needed them.

The less patience you have for insincerity

When you were young, you probably tended to try and accumulate as many friends as possible. Perhaps you had greater patience and tolerance for everyone you met; however, as you get older you have less patience for insincerity. You have learned that it is better to have a few sincere friends than a lot of superficial relationships.

Advertising

The deeper bonds you have formed

Many friends you have made simply drifted away, but there are those few who have stuck with you through the good and the bad. By sharing so many experiences with these select few friends, you have created a deep bond with them. It’s the kind of bond that can only be created over time.

The less time you have

As you get older you become busier. You may find that the demands of work increase and for those of you who start families you may find your time becomes very tight. As your time becomes more precious, you find yourself valuing it more and thus less likely to spend it with friends whose company you do not truly enjoy. You save your time for those friends who really matter to you.

Advertising

The less energy you have for meeting new people

As a young person, you may have had the energy to go to parties and mingle at bars to meet new people and make new friends. As an older person, you now have less time and patience for these pursuits. You would rather go to an old friend’s house and drink a glass of wine then start making the effort to go out and meet new friends.

The more protective you are of your secrets

As you get older, you may become more protective of your secrets. You are only willing to open up to a select few. You no longer want everyone to know your personal business and only trust these couple of good friends who you know you can rely on.

Advertising

So don’t despair if you find yourself with fewer friends. Those who have stood by you through thick and thin have proven to be the right match for you.

More by this author

Rebecca Beris

Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

Science Says Silence Is Much More Important To Our Brains Than We Think 16 Unhealthy Habits You Should Get Rid Of By 35 Years Old How To Get Rid Of A Headache Without Medicine 7 Surprising Benefits Of Drinking Warm Water In The Morning Typical Day of A Minimalist vs A Maximalist

Trending in Communication

1 How to Practice Positive Thinking And Change Your Life 2 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life 3 What Makes a Good Leader? 10 Essential Leadership Qualities 4 How Not to Be Boring (And Start to Be More Interesting) 5 11 Tips for Maintaining Your Positive Attitude

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

Advertising

2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

Advertising

Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

Advertising

Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

Advertising

Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

More About Finding Yourself

Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

Read Next