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If You Feel Lost At 29, Don’t Worry, Read This

If You Feel Lost At 29, Don’t Worry, Read This

The age of 29 is a weird think to think about. It is the penultimate year to yours 20s and one that leaves you in a fit of confusion on how to feel about the next birthday. A weird stigma surrounds the idea of aging in the current culture of America and it baffles me. At 29, people should be excited for 30, they should look back on the previous decade and see a trail of growth and harmony, not stare at the future in fear of what they will appear to others as. For those toeing the line of knowing all too well what it is like to be 29, never fear, just continue reading.

In a conversation I once had with a friend of mine she expressed the idea that she does not enjoy the idea behind the saying of “you look younger than you are.” It sounds wild but look at it this way, where were you ten years ago? I know myself I was more of a wreck than I am now, and that’s slightly terrifying if people can see me and expect me to be at that younger age. Although I have wild and vivid stories from that different past, I think where I am now is a much more sincere and honest lifestyle, and one that has been revealed with wisdom and spiritual power. At 30 I hope to wear myself as an individual that has survived all the questionings of my twenties, not back myself into a corner fearing what I look like and believing in the propaganda that I have to retain that youth.

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At the same time there is a bit of worrying that can still be happening at 29. Relationships may still be coming and going for some people while others are settling into their marriages. It can be an odd dichotomy of worlds to walk through. The entire idea behind life should not be to constantly compete with your friends, however. If you happen to be single (shoutout to all the others out there) do not — I repeat do NOT — rush into things just because your friends have. That can be a bitter way to end a potential beautiful relationship. It’s okay to still be meandering through life in constant wonder of who will scoop you into their arms. While your other friends may have found their love and are having kids, don’t worry, your chance will come. For those in touching relationships with children, you already are finding out so much about yourself through raising your offspring that you should be proud to look at age 30 and the next decade of growth that happens not only for you but your kids as well.

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Age 29 should also be a timeframe where before you enter a new decade, you should evaluate what course of action you have taken. Hopefully, your heart has been followed and you are doing things now that are worth value to you instead of just “getting by” like you used to (hence why that looking youthful idea irks me). If not, people have been known to dive into the friendly “quarter life crisis” and find out a better work situation for themselves. Again, don’t worry if that is happening, it’s better to have a want to better yourself the next ten years after a decade under the influence that was your twenties. I mean, think about it. At some point you turned 21 and might have been surrounded by college friends and the bar scene. It happens to most people. Now, at 29 you have a potential of eight (albeit maybe even 14) years of experience under your belt of partying and you can still have a great time. You just might be in a state where you also want to be having a great time in your work life as well, instead of ambitiously working to skate by with rent or mortgages. Another thing, no one is ever too old to go back to school. Maybe you have found a new happiness for meteorology or journalism or even fashion design. You will find you are even more equipped now after all the experiences life has thrown at you to find a new field to work in.

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At 29, people should have their heads higher than before. At 29, everyone should be happy to have lived their first quarter of their life. At 29, moving on is both pensive and poignant, but it marks a new chapter in life that people should show more excitement for. Instead of worrying about the big three oh, look at it directly and accept how beautiful you and your life are.

Featured photo credit: amjorsfeldt via cdn.morguefile.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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