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11 Things That Happen After You Turn 30

11 Things That Happen After You Turn 30

When you were 20, there were probably a lot of things you wanted to do by the time you turn 30, and you likely thought that people over this age were actually quite old. However, the truth is that you don’t feel like you are 30 years old when that birthday hits you, but some things do change.

1. Hangovers become a real thing.

When you were twenty-something years old, you bragged about not having hangovers. You could even continue to drink the next day. Say goodbye to those days, because hangovers will soon become real torture that lasts 2 days. The torture includes nausea, headaches, and the famous quote “I am too old for this s**t.”

However, the bright side is that you finally learn to enjoy drinks, especially wine, and learn to get just a little drunk — which will make you happy rather than regretting your whole life.

2. Wild nightlife becomes a night in.

As you learn to enjoy good wine, and have the money to buy expensive drinks instead of cheap ones, you stop tolerating people who yell, drink a lot, and party till the morning. Crowded places, where the biggest challenge is getting to the bar and ordering drinks, are replaced with a night in with your partner or friends, drinking wine, having dinner, and watching films.

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Some Saturdays also mean spending time with a good movie or a book and just lying in a comfy bed.

3. You can’t eat everything anymore.

Before, you could eat any time of day, whatever you wanted, and not gain a pound. Now, everything you put in your body will show. Gaining weight becomes easier, as well as getting cellulite. So, you need to start exercising and eating healthier — which does not mean eating a cheeseburger at 2 AM.

Your metabolism and digestive system may have failed you, but eating healthy food and exercising will pay off.

4. Wrinkles, wrinkles everywhere.

You never cared about wrinkles until you saw your first ones. They don’t make you ugly, nor can everyone see them. The main problem with wrinkles is that you actually realize you are getting old and you cannot stop time.

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Real wrinkles come later, but when they occur you won’t care and they won’t be important. However, wrinkles are the first sign of becoming an adult, and there’s no reason to be sad and scared, because it’s much better than you think.

5. Grey hair starts to appear.

In your twenties, there were some grey hairs, but you could just pluck them and the problem was solved. However, when you turn 30, those grey hairs get to work on taking over your whole head — plucking isn’t an option anymore.

Since you have a job, you can afford an expensive and professional hair dresser who will create the perfect red carpet hairstyle for you — and make sure that your hair color is spot on.

6. You’ll actually start organizing events in advance.

Till recently, your motto regarding events was “go with the flow,” and planning was basically tweeting or posting an update about the event. The formula used to be: buy drinks, some food, the place doesn’t matter, nor does who shows up. However, those days are long gone.

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Now if you want to organize something, you do a lot of careful planning and make sure there are various drinks, extraordinary meals, and instead of tweets, you actually send invitations. When you were young, you couldn’t understand why people made such a big fuss about planning a wedding. Now, you aren’t just planning every little detail of your wedding, but also going through a pile of magazines and websites on the daily.

7. Your newsfeed is full of baby photos… and you like it.

You probably can’t tell exactly when the photos appearing in your newsfeed changed from wild parties to babies, but you actually don’t mind it at all. You may be complaining about them or making sarcastic comments, but deep inside you know that you like those cute baby pictures.

8. You don’t get easily offended

You were always confident, but you were a bit lost in the chaotic life — and the whole process of finding a job that you liked and figuring out who and where you want to be. By the time you turn 30, you still won’t have figured things out, but at least you’ll know what you want and how to get it.

When you were in your twenties, you were shaken and angry by a single comment on social media, but now you really don’t care about those things. You don’t have time for unimportant negative things. That’s why you don’t get easily offended, and you know how to stand up for yourself.

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9. You have a small circle of real friends.

Going out with 10 friends is a thing of the past, and you don’t tolerate random people that annoy you. You will finally learn to appreciate those few real friends that you have and love them unconditionally. Real happiness is having a few friends with whom you can share everything, instead of wasting time on toxic people or those that only drain your energy and give nothing back. Your best friends are the people you want to be with for the rest of your life.

10. You travel better.

No more cheap hotels and cramped hostel rooms, and say goodbye to sleeping in a car because you went on an unplanned vacation. In your thirties, you can afford nice rooms, eating in restaurants, and traveling with style.

Moreover, travelling has expanded beyond trips to top destinations. Traveling now includes short weekend trips to the countryside where you will recharge your batteries.

11. Love and sex are better.

You may have found the one or you might still be searching, but one thing is certain: you will find the person who truly makes you happy. Love becomes the only thing that keeps you going and inspires you to do more. Of course, your sex life also becomes better as your thirties are the time when you finally start loving your body, which makes you more confident around your partner.

After all, if we put some changes aside, being 30 is awesome. There is no better time to experience life. Don’t be afraid —  things will only get better.

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Katarina Milovanovic

Creative Writer

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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