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3 Strategies to Attract Opportunities into Your Life

3 Strategies to Attract Opportunities into Your Life

Feeling stagnant?

You don’t attract opportunities because you are not upgrading

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I often get asked by my coaching clients: “How can I get more opportunities in my life?”

This is a really important question. New opportunities enable us to advance in our lives and careers as a result of an abundance of options to choose from. In the case where we seldom get a chance to upgrade our current situation through new possibilities, it is a common occurrence to feel stagnant, unhappy and unproductive.

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Most people will assume that inability to attract opportunities is directly tied to lack of passion and merely waiting for a miracle to appear out of the blue. However, this is not the entire truth. There are two elements to successfully attracting new opportunities.

Want progress? Do something new and work on your ‘attractiveness’

To get something you never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.” –Unknown.

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This thought-provoking statement suggests that people stay in their own comfort zone and fail to broaden their horizons. As a result, they often resign from their plans too early and settle for mediocrity. Surprisingly, these are often disciplined people who work hard for their living and are respected members of our society.

The second and not-so-obvious element is the fact that our inner self reflects in our external environment. The truth is you have to shift existing behaviors and mindset in order to attract opportunities. Favorable circumstances and success come to the ‘attractive’ people who develop ‘inner beauty’, often meet new people, build new relationships and form new business partnerships. It is vital to work on personal development and on character development.

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Apply these 3 strategies to attract new opportunities

1. Surround yourself with success.

There is a saying: “You earn the average income of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. Your environment is crucial to your happiness. Successful people have winning habits, strategies and ‘attractive’ personalities. By spending time with them, you will subconsciously start to model these behaviors. Likewise, negative people significantly impact their surroundings, often lacking ambition and spreading pessimistic thoughts.

2. Get out of your comfort zone.

Staying in a familiar environment is comfortable because you know what to expect. However, by not stepping out of a comfortable environment, new things will seldom occur in your life. The aim is to create opportunities by stepping outside the comfort zone instead of waiting for them. Otherwise, your life will be nothing more than comfortable. Stepping outside of your comfort zone will allow you to meet new people and attract a whole array of new situations.

3. Perform daily routines to shape your character.

A strong and attractive character is a result of systematic practice. One of my favorite quotes is “where attention goes, energy flows – results show”. Good conduct and behavior are results of our thoughts and habits. If you are able to set out behaviors that you will repeat daily, your character will be transformed and opportunities will appear as a result. For instance, you could have a morning and evening routines to prioritize and reflect on your current tasks.

How to succeed in the long-term? Use self-reflection and be consistent

Usually people regret things they didn’t do when they had the chance to try. Attracting new opportunities is not down to just luck – step out of your comfort zone and start working on a brand of attractiveness which consists of your character, heart and spirit. The key is to do monthly or quarterly self-reflection activities to evaluate your progress and analyze new areas requiring development. It is important to be systematic in your actions, as they will increase your chances in the long term to attract plenty of new opportunities.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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