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Don’t Worry: It’s Alright To Feel Lost At 25

Don’t Worry: It’s Alright To Feel Lost At 25

There’s no doubt that a person’s twenties are often some of the most exciting—and most terrifying—years of their life. Finishing college (if attended), entering the workforce, possibly starting a family, or just trying to climb up the corporate ladder are things many people in their twenties are busy doing. However, for some of us, things seem to take a standstill by the age of 25 and we have no earthly idea what we’re supposed to do with ourselves. If you’ve found yourself in this boat in your twenties, don’t worry: it’s alright to feel lost at 25.

I remember the day I graduated high school. I was sure that my identity struggles and career struggles would take care of themselves. My peers and I eagerly went off to college and pursued different paths, but for some reason, I never seemed to find my path as quickly as I thought I would. I changed majors three times, had a slight identity crisis, dealt with some major points of grief, and spent most of my early twenties figuring out what I would finally finish up my college degree with. Throw in some odd jobs, financial aid stresses, family issues, and you’ve got an equation that comes out equal to a seriously lost individual.

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By age 25, I had finally graduated with a degree I was happy with and passionate about: nutrition science. Even though I left college with a mountain of student loan debt, I was certain that I’d find a job and that things would just take care of themselves. Guess what? That didn’t happen. In fact, I spent the next two years looking for a job and feeling incredibly lost in life. Where had things gone wrong? What specific decision led me here?

If you’ve ever found yourself in these shoes or felt lost at some point in your life, don’t worry. Things do finally work themselves out and you’ll see the pieces of life start to come together within a few years. To help you get there much quicker than I did, here are a few tips I’d suggest anyone follow.

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1. Don’t Let Your Major and Possible Job (Current or Future) Define You

Many times in our twenties, we have to work jobs that might not be what we set out to do with our lives. That’s okay. Don’t worry about your job defining who you are. If you feel you need to make a change, then by all means, do it. Don’t be afraid to go after your dreams, but also don’t worry if you have to work a few crummy jobs to make ends meet. In the meantime, when you’re off work, be sure to explore activities of all kinds that you’re passionate about, no matter how small they may seem. Doing this will often lead you to a career area you might be able to look into at some point. You’ll also be able to deal with life a little bit easier when you are participating in something you’re passionate about.

2. Try Your Best to Let Go of Past Failures

Whether it’s a job, relationship, school program, or anything else that just didn’t go like you planned, try your best to let it go. You can’t take it with you, but you can let it make you stronger and smarter. Don’t let your past define your future, always look ahead and just keep stepping forward. This makes you feel more accomplished and able to approach things that come your way with a new mindset. Failure and regret get you nowhere, but taking one step, day by day in a new direction, does.

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3. Don’t Let Anyone Define Who You Are

It’s very easy to get caught up in relationships with friends, family, and partners during our twenties that end up making us dependent on others for happiness. Do your best not to let this happen. Having a strong sense of self is important for helping you not feel lost in life, and if something was to ever happen to one of these relationships, you’d be stronger for always being yourself. Don’t let others define who you are and what you want to do with your life. Be yourself and always remain true to you—no matter what.

4. Be Smart With Your Finances

This step is often hard for many people in their twenties when jobs can go up and down and debt often starts to pile up. No matter how little money you make, be smart with it. Remember that you don’t need to have the newest of everything, and minimalism is highly underrated. Being smart with your finances will give you an internal confidence and also help you be in a better condition if something unexpected happens in your future. If you don’t make enough money or are already having financial problems, try to find a side job or evaluate your spending right now to see how you can improve things. Look into free budgeting tools online and through mobile apps that can help you with this.

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5. Reach Out to Others

It might also be helpful for you to reach out to others who are older than you and let them act as mentors during this time of confusion and loss. Not many people had their entire lives figured out at 25, so take advice from a variety of people and think about their experiences. This doesn’t mean you have to take all of their advice or repeat their choices, but insight from others can create new perspectives and possibly even new ideas that may lead you towards a better path.

Remember that no one gets an award at age 30 for having a perfect life, so if you’re in your mid-twenties and sweating things, don’t worry: it’s alright to feel lost at 25 or any other age. For more inspiration that may help you get through your twenties a bit easier, consider trying these 20 Things Highly Successful People Do in Their Twenties.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via images.unsplash.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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