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20 Things I Wish I Did In My 20s

20 Things I Wish I Did In My 20s

20s are always awesome. You are young and free, with your whole life ahead of you. You have the choice to achieve anything you want, and are free from many of the responsibilities that come with being in your thirties. However, usually only when you’ve turned 30, you realized there’re much you haven’t done yet. And it’s harder to achieve them once you enter another stage of life.

These are the things I wish I did in my 20s. If you’re in your 20s, maybe it’s time to take action right now.

1. Travel to a farther country

In my 20s, when I still have time and freedom, I didn’t travel to many countries that are far far away. Because I didn’t have much money. Now I have some money, but I don’t have enough time. If I can go back, I’d find more ways to earn the money or any ways that can support my traveling.

2. Reject people who don’t deserve a position in my life

There’re some people who aren’t meant to stay in your life. At that time I was too afraid to hurt others and always hesitate to reject people. At the end, everyone hurts, or everyone wastes their time.

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3. Apply for my dream job even if it’s low-paid

When you’re still young, never let anything stop you. Looking back, I was worried about too many unimportant things that told me not to go for what I really like.

4. Travel alone

The world is beautiful, and there is so much of it to see. Travelling alone means you get to do everything that you want to do, and it will make you more independent and self-reliant.

5. Learn to cook a few healthy meals

Take-out food is expensive (and normally pretty unhealthy). Learn to cook a few meals that you love so you can always eat something delicious and healthy. What you ate would be reflected by your body in your 30s.

6. Travel with friends

Have an amazing time in another country with your best friends. It will be one of the best times of your life, and you will never forget the memories. When you enter your 30s, it’ll become much harder to find a time to just see your friends.

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7. Let go of grudges

The past is in the past – they are only weighing you down.

8. Spend more time with my parents – and forgive them

I used to be too hard on my parents. I thought they were not good enough. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, even your parents. Spend time with them and work on your relationship together.

9. Ditch toxic relationships

Stop holding onto relationships that make you feel upset or stressed out. They will never change, and real friends don’t make you feel awful.

10. Talk to everyone (and anyone)

Small talk can lead to new opportunities and friendships.

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11. Be honest with myself and others

Your life will be much happier and less stressful – lying always complicates things.

12. Find a type of exercise that I enjoy

Exercise is a lot of fun if you are doing something that you actually enjoy. There are lots of options out there; yoga, basketball, soccer, hiking, walking, or even salsa.

13. Brush and floss my teeth

You only get one set of teeth. Look after them every day!

14. Take more risks

Not just one risk – take as many as you want! Life is very limiting when you are motivated by fear instead of passion.

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15. Stay up all night having fun with my friends

As you get older, it will be harder to go without sleep. Make the most of it now by staying up late with your friends and having fun together. Go to a club, a bar or a concert and stay out until the sun comes up!

16. Be as busy as I can be

Staying busy means making memories and achieving goals. When you do nothing, nothing obviously happens as a result.

17. Make more new friends

Replace your toxic relationships with happy, fulfilling new friendships.

18. Start paying off my debt

Make your debt disappear in your twenties so you have the extra income in your thirties for other responsibilities.

19. Spend a night under the stars

Camping is a lot of fun, and it’s awe-inspiring to take in the night sky.

20. Write a letter to an old friend

This is a sweet gesture that shows your friend how much you appreciate them, and they can treasure the letter forever. Sometimes it’s a small gesture that can keep your friendship forever.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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