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These 20 Books Are Game Changers, Read Them Before You Turn 30

These 20 Books Are Game Changers, Read Them Before You Turn 30

Books offer wisdom that we ourselves might need years to figure out. Between 20 and 30, we all would undergo lots of struggles and have lots of doubts. Below are 20 books that can make your way much clearer, promising and easier.

Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job & Your Dream Job – Jon Acuff

quitter

    Through wit and experience, Jon Acuff takes us through a journey from dispising your current job to getting your dream job. Acuff shows us the way by making sure we don’t quit too soon or too late.

    This is a fun and very helpful read for those who want to make the jump and make their dreams a reality.

    The Power of Habit – Charles Duhigg

    ThePowerofHabit

      Through the use scientific studies, author Charles Duhigg shares his labor of love by breaking down how habits are created and how we fail to stop them in life and in business.

      This is an excellent read for anyone looking to break bad habits and start new ones that lead to success.

      Total Money Makeover – Dave Ramsey

      money

        For over 20 years, personal finance coach and radio personality Dave Ramsey has brought his no nonsense advice to a very easy to follow how-to guide. His baby steps from establishing an emergency fund to living on cash are priceless.

        I highly recommend this book, as my wife and I have used it to great success in our finances.

        Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life – Henry Cloud and John Townsend

        Boundaries

          Having problems with people who keep stumbling into what you feel is your personal boundary? Whether you are looking for help emotionally, physically, or mentally, Boundaries is the book you want to read.

          Authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend give you the blueprint for setting clear boundaries in any facet of your life.

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          The $100 Startup – Chris Guillebeau

          100Startup

            Much like Tim Ferriss, Chris Guellebeau is a world traveling writer. In The $100 Startup, the author cites example after example of people who start businesses with very little money and make their businesses much larger.

            This book offers great inspiration for those who want to start a side business.

            Do The Work – Steven Pressfield

            do the work

              Known best for his fiction writing (The Legend of Bagger Vance) and his first book on work, The War of Art, Pressfield helps guide us through what it takes to get through any project we might be working on. A short and easy read, Do The Work is simple, yet very inspirational for those who long to do something outside of their own comfort zone.

              Pressfield writes:

              “The opposite of fear is love – love of the challenge, love of the work, the pure joyous passion to take a shot at our dream and see if we can pull it off.”

              The Traveler’s Gift: Seven Decisions That Determine Personal Success – Andy Andrews

              travel

                After being rejected by over 50 publishers, Andy Andrews finally published this book in 2005. Written as a fictional, but motivational, historical book, the story follows 46 year old David, who after losing his job is involved in a nasty car accident. While out cold in the hospital, David is transported back in time and meets Lincoln, Truman, and 5 other great historical leaders. He learns wisdom from them in their toughest hours.

                Andrews writes:

                “Those who are critical of my goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose to which I have been called.”

                Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us – Daniel Pink

                drive_book_page

                  Daniel Pink shows us that science and business are in very different realms in the 21st century. Science shows us that we are moving beyond the carrot and stick style of management (Motivation 2.0) to a self-motivated autonomy where employees are working with purpose, mastery, and in a state of flow (Motivation 3.0).

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                  This book is great help for those of us trying to understand our purpose.

                  Essentialism – Greg McKeown

                  essentialism

                    Less is more. That’s it. One great method Greg McKeown uses is a filter for choosing what to do in our lives. If the choice you need to make isn’t a 9 or 10 (10 being something you have to do), then don’t do it.

                    I highly recommend this book for pairing down your life and making a systematic discipline in whatever you do.

                    48 Days to the Work You Love – Dan Miller

                    48DaysBook

                      Career coach and author Dan Miller is a firm believer in getting people to realize that we all have certain skills, abilities, and passions. This book helps us understand that the road to happiness is finding work that is gratifying and profitable. 85% of the job search is understanding yourself and the other 15% is finding work that fits you.

                      It could save you thousands of dollars in unwanted student loans by helping you find a career that fits you.

                      The 4 Hour Workweek – Tim Ferriss

                      4HourWorkWeek

                        Originally published in 2009, Tim Ferriss introduced the Lifestyle Business to the world. After having a panic attack while traveling in Spain, Ferriss maps out how to build a business that can be run from anywhere in the world. In addition, he shows how to live very well in cities around the world.

                        While I would not suggest what Tim does is for everyone, his concepts and ideas are worth the read.

                        Blue Like Jazz – Donald Miller

                        BlueLikeJazz

                          While considered a Christian book, Donald Miller takes us on his unsuspecting journey to find his faith in Christ. As a college student in his late teens and early twenties, Miller takes us on his interesting ride of finding his faith in a city (Portland) not known for its religious fervor.

                          Donald’s conversational style of writing makes this an enjoyable read for anyone looking to understand their own faith walk.

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                          How to Win Friends and Influence People –  Dale Carnegie

                          HowToWinFriends

                            This classic self-help book has been around since the 1930s. Based upon what Carnegie learned from interviews with the business giants of the day (including Andrew Carnegie and Thomas Edison), the author lays out ways to maximize your potential through understanding how to interact with others.

                            This book is still relevant today as it was 70 plus years ago.

                            The Energy Bus – Jon Gordon

                            TheEnergyBus

                              Written in a inspirational fictional format, this fascinating book follows the hard luck times of a marketing team leader who is on the brink of losing his job. Forced to ride the Energy Bus because his car needs a lengthy repair, our protagonist learns the 10 rules of injecting fun and positive energy into his work and family life.

                              This is a quick and powerful book for anyone looking to turn their situation into a positive one.

                              Man’s Search for Meaning – Victor Frankl

                              MansSearchForMeaning

                                After surviving four Nazi death camps and watching much of his family die, Frankl became a psychiatrist. Countering Freud’s contention that man’s sole desire is finding pleasure, Frankl contends that what really drives men is their pursuit for meaning in their lives.

                                While rather deep at times, Man’s Search for Meaning is a must-read.

                                The Greatest Salesman in the World – Og Mandino

                                TheGreatestSalesmanintheworld

                                  Don’t let the title scare you. This book, while having some relation to sales and salesmanship, is more about living a life of servant leadership.

                                  The Greatest Salesman is a quick read but leaves you feeling inspired.

                                  Confessions of a Terrible Husband: Lessons Learned From a Lumpy Couch – Nick Pavlidis

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                                  ConfessionsofaTerribleHusband

                                    While not every 20-something will think of being a husband, Nick Pavlidis takes us through his journey from being a self-absorbed jerk to a loving husband.

                                    Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking – Susan Cain

                                    Quiet

                                      Here’s a must-read for anyone looking to understand why they feel exhausted when they’re done talking to a group of people. Through psychology and neuroscience research, Susan Cain does a brilliant job of explaining how one third of us (introverts) cope with the rest of the extroverted population.

                                      The Bible

                                      TheNIVBible

                                        Do you know the one subject that the Bible mentions more times than any other? Money. That’s right – money. You don’t need to be a devout Christian to read the Bible. Take a year and breakdown the 66 books in the Bible. Look for the New International Version for one of the easier to read translations.

                                        You might be surprised how much our daily lives in Western culture stem from what the Bible teaches.

                                        The Obstacle is the Way – Ryan Holiday

                                        TheObstacleistheWay

                                          Through the use of stoicism, or the the ancient Greek philosophy of enduring pain or adversity with perseverance and resilience, this book shows that the way to success is through the very path that stands in the way of success. Ryan Holiday takes us through a myriad of leaders who have used stoicism to overcome any obstacle.

                                          This is a delightful read for anyone stuck on a project in need of help.

                                          Conclusion

                                          If you read more than one book per year, you are way ahead of the crowd. Take the time to read one or any of these great books. Then apply what you learn. You will grow immensely from it.

                                          If there are any other books I missed, let me know. Please share and leave a comment.

                                          Featured photo credit: Victor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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                                          Published on May 4, 2021

                                          How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                          How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                          They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

                                          In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

                                          How to Spot Fake People?

                                          When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

                                          Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

                                          1. Full of Themselves

                                          Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

                                          Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

                                          2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

                                          Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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                                          It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

                                          3. Zero Self-Reflection

                                          To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

                                          Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

                                          4. Unrealistic Perceptions

                                          Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

                                          A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

                                          5. Love Attention

                                          As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

                                          6. People Pleaser

                                          Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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                                          Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

                                          7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

                                          Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

                                          8. Crappy friend

                                          Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

                                          It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

                                          The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

                                          How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

                                          It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

                                          There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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                                          1. Boundaries

                                          Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

                                          2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

                                          Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

                                          3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

                                          If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

                                          4. Ask for Advice

                                          If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

                                          Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

                                          5. Dig Deeper

                                          Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

                                          Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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                                          6. Practice Self-Care!

                                          Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

                                          Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

                                          Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

                                          Final Thoughts

                                          Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

                                          We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

                                          More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

                                          Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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