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These 20 Books Are Game Changers, Read Them Before You Turn 30

These 20 Books Are Game Changers, Read Them Before You Turn 30

Books offer wisdom that we ourselves might need years to figure out. Between 20 and 30, we all would undergo lots of struggles and have lots of doubts. Below are 20 books that can make your way much clearer, promising and easier.

Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job & Your Dream Job – Jon Acuff

quitter

    Through wit and experience, Jon Acuff takes us through a journey from dispising your current job to getting your dream job. Acuff shows us the way by making sure we don’t quit too soon or too late.

    This is a fun and very helpful read for those who want to make the jump and make their dreams a reality.

    The Power of Habit – Charles Duhigg

    ThePowerofHabit

      Through the use scientific studies, author Charles Duhigg shares his labor of love by breaking down how habits are created and how we fail to stop them in life and in business.

      This is an excellent read for anyone looking to break bad habits and start new ones that lead to success.

      Total Money Makeover – Dave Ramsey

      money

        For over 20 years, personal finance coach and radio personality Dave Ramsey has brought his no nonsense advice to a very easy to follow how-to guide. His baby steps from establishing an emergency fund to living on cash are priceless.

        I highly recommend this book, as my wife and I have used it to great success in our finances.

        Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life – Henry Cloud and John Townsend

        Boundaries

          Having problems with people who keep stumbling into what you feel is your personal boundary? Whether you are looking for help emotionally, physically, or mentally, Boundaries is the book you want to read.

          Authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend give you the blueprint for setting clear boundaries in any facet of your life.

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          The $100 Startup – Chris Guillebeau

          100Startup

            Much like Tim Ferriss, Chris Guellebeau is a world traveling writer. In The $100 Startup, the author cites example after example of people who start businesses with very little money and make their businesses much larger.

            This book offers great inspiration for those who want to start a side business.

            Do The Work – Steven Pressfield

            do the work

              Known best for his fiction writing (The Legend of Bagger Vance) and his first book on work, The War of Art, Pressfield helps guide us through what it takes to get through any project we might be working on. A short and easy read, Do The Work is simple, yet very inspirational for those who long to do something outside of their own comfort zone.

              Pressfield writes:

              “The opposite of fear is love – love of the challenge, love of the work, the pure joyous passion to take a shot at our dream and see if we can pull it off.”

              The Traveler’s Gift: Seven Decisions That Determine Personal Success – Andy Andrews

              travel

                After being rejected by over 50 publishers, Andy Andrews finally published this book in 2005. Written as a fictional, but motivational, historical book, the story follows 46 year old David, who after losing his job is involved in a nasty car accident. While out cold in the hospital, David is transported back in time and meets Lincoln, Truman, and 5 other great historical leaders. He learns wisdom from them in their toughest hours.

                Andrews writes:

                “Those who are critical of my goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose to which I have been called.”

                Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us – Daniel Pink

                drive_book_page

                  Daniel Pink shows us that science and business are in very different realms in the 21st century. Science shows us that we are moving beyond the carrot and stick style of management (Motivation 2.0) to a self-motivated autonomy where employees are working with purpose, mastery, and in a state of flow (Motivation 3.0).

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                  This book is great help for those of us trying to understand our purpose.

                  Essentialism – Greg McKeown

                  essentialism

                    Less is more. That’s it. One great method Greg McKeown uses is a filter for choosing what to do in our lives. If the choice you need to make isn’t a 9 or 10 (10 being something you have to do), then don’t do it.

                    I highly recommend this book for pairing down your life and making a systematic discipline in whatever you do.

                    48 Days to the Work You Love – Dan Miller

                    48DaysBook

                      Career coach and author Dan Miller is a firm believer in getting people to realize that we all have certain skills, abilities, and passions. This book helps us understand that the road to happiness is finding work that is gratifying and profitable. 85% of the job search is understanding yourself and the other 15% is finding work that fits you.

                      It could save you thousands of dollars in unwanted student loans by helping you find a career that fits you.

                      The 4 Hour Workweek – Tim Ferriss

                      4HourWorkWeek

                        Originally published in 2009, Tim Ferriss introduced the Lifestyle Business to the world. After having a panic attack while traveling in Spain, Ferriss maps out how to build a business that can be run from anywhere in the world. In addition, he shows how to live very well in cities around the world.

                        While I would not suggest what Tim does is for everyone, his concepts and ideas are worth the read.

                        Blue Like Jazz – Donald Miller

                        BlueLikeJazz

                          While considered a Christian book, Donald Miller takes us on his unsuspecting journey to find his faith in Christ. As a college student in his late teens and early twenties, Miller takes us on his interesting ride of finding his faith in a city (Portland) not known for its religious fervor.

                          Donald’s conversational style of writing makes this an enjoyable read for anyone looking to understand their own faith walk.

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                          How to Win Friends and Influence People –  Dale Carnegie

                          HowToWinFriends

                            This classic self-help book has been around since the 1930s. Based upon what Carnegie learned from interviews with the business giants of the day (including Andrew Carnegie and Thomas Edison), the author lays out ways to maximize your potential through understanding how to interact with others.

                            This book is still relevant today as it was 70 plus years ago.

                            The Energy Bus – Jon Gordon

                            TheEnergyBus

                              Written in a inspirational fictional format, this fascinating book follows the hard luck times of a marketing team leader who is on the brink of losing his job. Forced to ride the Energy Bus because his car needs a lengthy repair, our protagonist learns the 10 rules of injecting fun and positive energy into his work and family life.

                              This is a quick and powerful book for anyone looking to turn their situation into a positive one.

                              Man’s Search for Meaning – Victor Frankl

                              MansSearchForMeaning

                                After surviving four Nazi death camps and watching much of his family die, Frankl became a psychiatrist. Countering Freud’s contention that man’s sole desire is finding pleasure, Frankl contends that what really drives men is their pursuit for meaning in their lives.

                                While rather deep at times, Man’s Search for Meaning is a must-read.

                                The Greatest Salesman in the World – Og Mandino

                                TheGreatestSalesmanintheworld

                                  Don’t let the title scare you. This book, while having some relation to sales and salesmanship, is more about living a life of servant leadership.

                                  The Greatest Salesman is a quick read but leaves you feeling inspired.

                                  Confessions of a Terrible Husband: Lessons Learned From a Lumpy Couch – Nick Pavlidis

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                                  ConfessionsofaTerribleHusband

                                    While not every 20-something will think of being a husband, Nick Pavlidis takes us through his journey from being a self-absorbed jerk to a loving husband.

                                    Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking – Susan Cain

                                    Quiet

                                      Here’s a must-read for anyone looking to understand why they feel exhausted when they’re done talking to a group of people. Through psychology and neuroscience research, Susan Cain does a brilliant job of explaining how one third of us (introverts) cope with the rest of the extroverted population.

                                      The Bible

                                      TheNIVBible

                                        Do you know the one subject that the Bible mentions more times than any other? Money. That’s right – money. You don’t need to be a devout Christian to read the Bible. Take a year and breakdown the 66 books in the Bible. Look for the New International Version for one of the easier to read translations.

                                        You might be surprised how much our daily lives in Western culture stem from what the Bible teaches.

                                        The Obstacle is the Way – Ryan Holiday

                                        TheObstacleistheWay

                                          Through the use of stoicism, or the the ancient Greek philosophy of enduring pain or adversity with perseverance and resilience, this book shows that the way to success is through the very path that stands in the way of success. Ryan Holiday takes us through a myriad of leaders who have used stoicism to overcome any obstacle.

                                          This is a delightful read for anyone stuck on a project in need of help.

                                          Conclusion

                                          If you read more than one book per year, you are way ahead of the crowd. Take the time to read one or any of these great books. Then apply what you learn. You will grow immensely from it.

                                          If there are any other books I missed, let me know. Please share and leave a comment.

                                          Featured photo credit: Victor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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                                          Last Updated on July 8, 2020

                                          How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

                                          How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

                                          Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

                                          For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

                                          But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

                                          It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

                                          The Importance of Saying No

                                          When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

                                          In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

                                          Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

                                          Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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                                          Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

                                          “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

                                          When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

                                          How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

                                          It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

                                          From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

                                          We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

                                          And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

                                          The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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                                          How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

                                          Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

                                          The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

                                          1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

                                          Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

                                          2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

                                          Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

                                          3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

                                          When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

                                          6 Ways to Start Saying No

                                          Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

                                          1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

                                          One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

                                          Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

                                          2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

                                          Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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                                          Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

                                          3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

                                          Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

                                          Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

                                          4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

                                          Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

                                          Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

                                          5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

                                          When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

                                          Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

                                          A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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                                          6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

                                          If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

                                          Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

                                          Final Thoughts

                                          Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

                                          Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

                                          Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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                                          Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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