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8 Things That Happen When You Stop Comparing

8 Things That Happen When You Stop Comparing

Comparing yourself to other people can be detrimental to your mental and physical well-being.

In this age of social media we have instant access to everyone’s life, from our 8th grade ex boyfriend to Taylor Swift’s cats (even though Meredith and Olivia are too stinkin’ cute.)

But with that instant access comes the fear of inferiority. Why is everyone’s life so much better than mine?

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If you are waiting for your boyfriend to propose, it seems like everyone on your FaceBook timeline is getting engaged. If you are having issues getting pregnant, it seems like everyone on your Instagram feed is posting ultrasound pictures or baby bump updates.

Whatever the case may be, it seems like all we do is constantly compare ourselves to other people and, at the end of the day, who is that actually benefiting?  Below are a list of 8 things that will happen when you stop comparing yourself to others.

1. You will realize how many wonderful things you already have.

Stop thinking about what you don’t have, and take a quick inventory of what you do have: a job (even if it’s not a great job), friends (even if it’s only a few close ones), a place to live (even if it’s not as big or beautiful as you want). There is always something you have to be grateful for in your life, so find out what those are and take a moment to be thankful.

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2. You will stop stressing over the things you do not have.

Once you have started being thankful for what you do have, you will stop stressing over the things that you don’t. It’s always great to have goals and aspire for bigger and better things, but it is not healthy to constantly focus on whatever it is you feel like your life is lacking.

3. You will put more focus on reaching your goals.

If there is something that your life is “lacking”, such as a college degree, or other realistically obtainable “thing”; it will only be once you have stopped feeling sorry for yourself, that you can put that energy towards obtaining it. Find out what it is you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to, and see if it’s something you have the ability to change or not. For example, if you are comparing yourself to people who are skinnier or more fit than you, take some steps towards eating better and leading a healthier lifestyle.

4. You will realize that what you are comparing yourself to is not always accurate.

Especially in terms of Social Media, what you see is definitely not always what you get. People are only putting the best versions of themselves out there for everyone to see.  So what you are comparing yourself to is an unfair comparison; like looking in a magazine and trying to obtain the look of the photo-shopped model. It may look perfect on the outside, but always remember that every single person has things they feel like their life is missing.

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5. You’ll see a rise in your self-esteem.

There is always going to be someone stronger, smarter, richer, and more beautiful then you. All you can do is set goals for yourself if there are things that you want to change, but beyond that, you are who you are. You have to find out what the best qualities are about you and let those shine, while working on any attributes you feel need changed; but for YOU. Not for the benefit of others’.

6. You will become a better friend.

Those closest to us are the easiest to compare ourselves to. If you feel like your friends all have things that you don’t, you may resent them without even knowing it. There’s nothing more upsetting then your friend giving you good news, and you responding with, “I’m so happy for you, but…” Nothing good can come from feeling that you deserve something more than a friend or family member.

7. You will realize that life isn’t always fair.

This one may sound cliché, but seriously. It all comes down to, “But it’s not fair that this person has this and I don’t.” Luckily, as adults, we realize the childishness of this thought and can, hopefully, move past it. Just because someone has something that you feel like you deserve more, is not going to give you whatever that is. Just like calling someone else dumb will not make you and smarter, or calling someone else fat will not make you any thinner. Realize that you are the master of your own universe and can shape your life to however you see fit, you just have to have the will-power to leave the negativity behind, and go for the gold.

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8. You will be happier.

This is, easily, the best reason to stop comparing yourself to others’. Again, constantly focusing on what other people have is mentally exhausting and, frankly, depressing. Once you’ve found the strength to stop seeing everything as a competition, you will breathe so much easier and your mental and physical well-being will reward you.

Featured photo credit: Andrés Nieto Porras via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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