If you had a deprived childhood or have survived a divorce, you will probably not want to talk about it at all. You may have been neglected as a child, bullied at school, passed over in promotion at work, abandoned by your partner, or been subjected to violence, abuse and other traumas. Yet, you have put your difficult past behind you, continue to smile and look on the bright side. Here are 8 reasons why you took this empowering and inspiring pathway.
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”- William Shakespeare
1. You refuse to play the victim for life
We all have battle scars and they hurt at times. But you have decided that the painful past must not lame you for life. The rationale is simple. You will not play the victim or let people know the awful truth because that means you are somewhat addicted to your pain. You were exploited and defenseless. Instead you have decided to forgive, forget and move on.
2. You can start afresh
We all make mistakes and I could list a few horrific ones where I took the wrong turning in my life. Like me, you have decided that mistakes are for burning or burying. You have taken your inspiration from Thomas Edison whose workshop exploded in 1914 and all his work was lost. He had to start over but he was glad that all his mistakes were lost.
“Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start again fresh.”- Thomas Edison.
3. You have stopped blaming yourself
You have stopped all the negative mantras about how foolish and gullible you were. Psychologists will always tell us that blaming ourselves is a natural defense mechanism in the post traumatic period. It is also a manifestation of the powerlessness you feel. You have taken the high road to recovery and healing. There is no stopping you and that is why you are smiling now.
4. You refuse to let obstacles stand in your way
After a traumatic past when every obstacle imaginable blocked your progress, you may have thought that life is just one long struggle. Ryan Holiday has written a book called The Obstacle Is The Way in which he praises the people like you who have the mental strength to overcome things they cannot control. You are the living testimony to that because you still have plenty of grit and resilience, even now. Obstacles are part and parcel of life’s journey.
“May you always remember that obstacles in the path are not obstacles, they ARE the path.” – Jane Lotter
5. You have buried the memories
You have cultivated successfully the concept of mindfulness so that the moment is now. You are in the zone. Memories are exhausting and they use loads of negative energy.
“Remember? Ohh, I wouldn’t do that! Remembering’s dangerous. I find the past such a worrying, anxious place.” – Alan Moore, Batman: The Killing Joke
6. You keep daydreaming to a minimum
Who doesn’t daydream? It can throw you back into imagining all the “what ifs” scenarios. Or it can trap you into daydreaming about the future. You have dreams of course, but you manage to steer the daydreaming into keeping to your agenda and empowering you in the best possible way.
7. You have worked through your grief
We have all grieved loved ones and mourned their loss. But there are other losses such as financial stability, pets, good health, and loving relationships which can take time to heal. You have coped with the anger, despair and the rollercoaster of ups and downs. When all that has taken its course, you are ready to face life again and enjoy it to the full.
“Loss has no friend, no allies, no benefit to the human spirit.”- Asa Don Brown.
8. You are traveling light
The traumas, disappointments and wrongs tend to be very heavy. You know the people who always manage to drop these into the conversation or worse still, mention them as excuses, justification, and to evoke pity. But wisely, you have decided that there is no more heavy baggage and you are travelling light from now on.
“Everyone you meet comes with baggage, find someone who cares enough to help you unpack.” – Ziad K.Abdelnour
Not only are you mindful, strong, caring, and confident but you are the best person I know to help other people unpack.