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5 Self-Fulfilling Prophecies You Don’t Want to Happen On You

5 Self-Fulfilling Prophecies You Don’t Want to Happen On You

We have all had them. Those thoughts that turn into beliefs that somehow become reality. This is the epitome of the self-fulfilling prophecies. A belief or thought that is made real by our attitudes and behaviors, positive or negative. It’s the negative that we want to avoid.

It may have started with a friend or loved one who drops a thought on you that seemed enticing at the time. And three years later you realize that you have been living out someone else’s dream and what turns out to be your nightmare.

Here are five self-fulfilling prophecies you don’t want make a reality.

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1. “The Wanderer” – Unwritten Goals

Think of goal setting like having a map for your life.

As The Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland points out, “If You Don’t Know Where You’re Going, Any Road Will Get You There.”

That’s where goal setting plays an important part in our lives.  However, vague, unrealistic goals can be demotivating. Since only 10% or less of the population actually write down goals, it is easy to see how popular culture puts little emphasis on goal setting. By not writing down S.M.A.R.T. goals, you may wake up 5 years from now in the same frustrating job with the same massive amount of debt and wonder how you got to where you are. Writing down goals gives you a chance to create positive self-fulfilling prophecies and move away from a meaningless future.

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2. “The Prejudiced” – Living Out Advice from Prejudiced Family Members

It’s the uncle who you looked up to, but as you turned older you realize he had given you bad advice. For example, your uncle says “You come from the poorest part of the city, there is no way you will amount to anything.” Better yet a guidance counselor tells you, “You have never had a family member finish higher than the 10th grade, you will be running streets just like them.” By listening to these negative statements and living them out, you will have a hard time breaking a bad cycle. Choose whose advice you listen to wisely.

3. “Eeyore” – Letting Your Past Define Your Future

You remember the character from Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore was the pessimistic, ever glum donkey. He looked at his past as a means of predicting his future. Here is a real life example. Perhaps you were initially terrible in public speaking in high school or college. You tried it a few times, but you just gave up and concluded you were never going to be good at it. Fast forward to your job today. You need to give a short speech but are in complete shock and fear of it. You have just lived out your past. Rather than working towards improving, you give up early and live out an unfortunate self-fulfilling prophecy. Change it around and improve regardless of your past.

4. “Someone Else’s Dream” – Living Out Your Parents Career Advice

In his book 48 Days to the Work You Love, career coach Dan Miller features a story of the surgeon who as it turns out can’t stand working with his patients on a personal level. It’s not part of his personality. So rather than dealing with it rationally he turns to heroin. By the time Dan meets with the surgeon, the only veins left to shoot up heroin are in his heel. In talking with the surgeon, it turns out that his father and grandfather were both surgeons and he felt obligated to live out their dreams and not his. Today, he still worked weekends in an emergency room setting where the relationships with patients were short lived and he found his passion of driving a truck during the week. By living out your self-fulfilling prophecies and not your parents, you find things much more gratifying.

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5. “The Paranoid Boyfriend or Girlfriend”

Have you ever met a guy, you liked him, dated him for a month. However, every week he asks if you are going to break up with him and you end up doing so? People with a strong fear of rejection are hard to live with. Don’t be that guy or girl. Build a relationship day by day through trust, faith and love.

What these 5 negative self-fulfilling prophecies have in common is that they all start with how we talk to ourselves. If you keep a positive outlook and take action towards daily goals, you will achieve more positive self-fulfilling prophecies.

As historian Howard Zinn states it best, “Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act.”

Featured photo credit: Tom Raftery via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 7, 2018

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

Failure occurs everyday, in school, jobs, housework, and within families. It is unavoidable, irritating and causes pessimism.

While the thought of flinging your hands in the air and walking away is all too appealing, take a second to connect with the people who have been there and survived.

Here are 10 famous failures to success stories around the world that will inspire you to keep going and achieve greatness:

1. J.K. Rowling

J.K.-Rowling

    During a Harvard commencement speech, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling outlined the importance and value of failure.[1]

    Why? Simply because she was once a failure too.

    A few short years after her graduation from college, her worst nightmares were realized. In her words,

    “I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.”

    Coming out of this failure stronger and more determined was the key to her success.

    2. Steve Jobs

    steve-jobs-31

      The now revolutionary Apple started off with two men in a garage. Years later we all know it as a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees.

      Yet, almost unbelievably, Steve Jobs was fired from the very company he began.

      The dismissal made him realize that his passion for his work exceeded the disappointment of failure. Further ventures such as NeXT and Pixar eventually led Jobs back to the CEO position at AppleJobs said in 2005:

      “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.”

      Lost your job today? Keep kicking and you could be just like this guy!

      3. Bill Gates
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        Bill Gates was a Harvard dropout. He co-owned a business called Traf-O-Data, which was a true failure.[2]

        However, skill and a passion for computer programming turned this failure into the pioneer of famous software company Microsoft, and the then 31-year-old into the world’s youngest self-made billionaire.

        In his own words:

        “It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”

        This isn’t to say that dropping out of Harvard will make you into a billionaire, but maybe that shiny degree isn’t worth as much as the drive and passion to succeed.

        4. Albert Einstein
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          The word ‘Einstein’ is associated with intelligence and synonymous with genius. Yet it is a famous fact that the pioneer of the theory of general relativity, Albert Einstein himself, could not speak fluently until the age of nine. His rebellious nature led to expulsion from school, and he was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School.

          His earlier setbacks did not stop him from winning the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1921. After all, he believed that:

          “Success is failure in progress.”

          To this day, his research has influenced various aspects of life including culture, religion, art, and even late night TV.

          Just because you haven’t achieved anything great yet, doesn’t mean you can’t be an Einstein yourself.

          5. Abraham Lincoln

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            Failing in business in 1831, suffering a nervous breakdown in 1836, defeated in his run for president in 1856, Abraham Lincoln was no stranger to rejection and failure. Rather than taking these signs as a motivation for surrender, he refused to stop trying his best.

            In this great man’s words:

            “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”

            Lincoln was elected in 1861 as the 16th President of the United States of America.

            The amount of rejection you receive is not a defining factor. Success is still within your reach.

            6. Michael Jordan

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              “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

              This quote by retired basketball legend Michael Jordan in a Nike advertisement speaks for itself.

              It would be an easy misconception that Jordan’s basketball skills revolve around natural talent. In fact, in his earlier years,  basketball coaches had trouble looking past the fact that Jordan didn’t reach the minimum height. It was years of effort, practice, and failure that made the star we know today.

              7. Steven Spielberg

              217307-steven-spielberg

                Regarded as one of the most influential filmmakers of all time, Steven Spielberg is a familiar household name. It is surprising to realize therefore that the genius behind Jaws and E.T. had poor grades in high school, getting him rejected from the University of Southern California three times.

                While he was in college, he caught the eye of executives at Universal, who signed him as a television director in 1969. This meant that he would not finish his college degree for another 33 years.

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                Perseverance and acceptance of failure is the key to success, after all.

                “Even though I get older, what I do never gets old, and that’s what I think keeps me hungry.”

                Bad grades in high school aside, there is no questioning the genius involved.

                To date, Spielberg has directed 51 films and has been awarded three Oscars.

                8. Walt Disney

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                  Mickey Mouse creator Walt Disney dropped out of school at a young age in a failed attempt at joining the army.[3] One of his earlier ventures, Laugh-o-Gram Studios, went bankrupt due to his lack of ability to run a successful business. He was once fired from a Missouri newspaper for “not being creative enough.”

                  Yet today, The genius behind Disney studios is responsible for generations of childhood memories and dreams. From Snow White to Frozen, Disney will continue to entertain the world for generations to come.

                  The logic behind this is simple:

                  “We don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

                  9. Vincent Van Gogh
                  vincent_van_gogh

                    During his lifetime, Vincent Van Gogh suffered mental illness, failed relationships, and committed suicide at the age of 37.

                    He only ever sold one painting in his life, pinning him a failure as an artist. However that did not put a damper on his enthusiasm and passion for art.

                    He would never know that years and years after his death he would become known as a key figure in the world of post-impressionism, and ultimately, one of the greatest artist that ever lived.

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                    He would never know that he became a hot topic in art classes and his image was going to be used in TV, books and other forms of popular culture.

                    In the words of this great, but tragic man:

                    “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

                    10. Stephen King

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                      As a paranoid, troubled child, tormented by nightmares and raised in poverty, it is no surprise that Stephen King grew up to the title: “Master of Horror”.[4]

                      An addiction to drugs and alcohol were his mechanisms to cope with the unhappiness he felt with his life. The frustration he felt towards multiple rejections by publishers in combination with illicit substances caused him to mentally contemplate violence towards his own children.

                      These intense emotions were those that he focused onto his writing. And that’s why he said:

                      “We make up horros to help us cope with the real ones.”

                      Writing became his new coping mechanism, and this is how the master author we know today grew to success.

                      Fail more often in order to succeed

                      Like Albert Einstein said, failure really is just success in progress. If you’d rather not to fail, you will probably never succeed.

                      Success comes from moments of frustrations when you’ll be most uncomfortable with. But after you’ve gone through all those bitter times, you’ll become stronger and you’ll get closer to success.

                      Don’t be afraid to fail. In fact, start failing, and start failing often; that’s how you will succeed.

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                      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

                      Reference

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