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6 Things to Keep Doing Even After You Have Children

6 Things to Keep Doing Even After You Have Children

When kids enter the picture, it’s easy to let go of things that you hold dear to accommodate the new changes in your life. But that could be a huge mistake. Updating your lifestyle is inevitable, but letting go of the things you love and make you happy is not. These are six things that you should keep doing, even after you have children.

1. Travel

One of the most common regrets I hear among parents of teenagers is “I wish I hadn’t stopped traveling.” Many of us relish the opportunity to country hop, see new places, and experience new cultures. And you don’t have to stop just because you’ve started a family. Albeit, the way you travel, where you travel, and what you do may be different – but this isn’t a reason to stop completely. The best vacation I’ve ever been on was to Banff and Jasper National Parks in Canada. We trekked, drove, and rafted – all with a three-year old and a three-month old!

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2. Exercise

It’s easy to let go of yourself when you’re chasing after two (or more kids) and holding down a full-time job, but make sure you make time to exercise. Exercising is good for your body and for your mind. It gives so some much needed alone time several days a week and the endorphin rush makes you feel better. With so many things you have to do every day, do this one for yourself. Pick activities you enjoy – sign up for a barre class, or go for a forty-five minute run before or after work. Something that keeps you excited and motivated is key. You’ll be happy you kept it up when your kids are older. When you’re telling them about the importance of exercise, it’s easier to deliver the message when you are modeling the activity.

3. Adult’s Only Vacations

It’s great to travel with kids, but it’s important to take time out for yourself too. Go away (even if just for a day) on your own or with your significant other once a year. Everyone needs a mental break from the daily grind, and that includes the caregiver grind, so do yourself a favor and take a solo or couple’s vacation before you burn out.

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4. Date Nights

It’s easy to fall into the trap of neglecting your relationship (or the attempt to find one) once there are children in the picture, but don’t. Your significant other needs to see you as their husband or wife, not just as a parent or career person. And if you aren’t coupled up, you can’t meet someone or start a meaningful relationship if every date involves a high chair. So, for your own sake and long-term happiness, keep working on your relationship and don’t cancel those date nights.

5. Hobbies and Personal Interests

Are you a musician? Photographer? Biking enthusiast? Kids or not, don’t let go of the things that make you happy and keep you interesting. It’s easy to let hobbies fall to the wayside once you become a parent, but it’s harder to restart a hobby than to find ways to keep it going – even through paternal leaves or busy times at work. An added bonus? When your kids are older, they may take an interest in your hobby as well and then it will morph from a solitary to a family activity.

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6. Learning

You may be a parent now, but you still don’t know everything. We spend our lives learning new things. And best of all, you have a new teacher – your little one. It’s fascinating to discover the world through the eyes of a child and it’s not an experience you’ll want to miss.

Featured photo credit: Gulliver’s Travels / Mini-DV via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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