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10 Ways to Better Utilise Your Time After Work

10 Ways to Better Utilise Your Time After Work

During our lives we constantly strive for accomplishments in our career, and we educate ourselves to reach certain goals according to our ambitions. Being successful in the field we love brings us a lot of happiness, as well as a substantial paycheck at the end of the month, which allows us to provide for our family and go on vacations, have a nice life, and buy some unnecessary material things that simply make us happy.

However, in these busy lives we lead, we mustn’t forget that at the end, success will mean nothing if we forget about our loved ones, and let them forget us. You are never too busy to do everything you want after work, but all you need is a little guide to help you better utilize your limited free time.

1. End your working day at fixed time

“Don’t let making a living prevent you from making a life.” – John Wooden

Working overtime brings nothing but bad results, and it makes it impossible to have a private life. As you probably have many other things planned out, if you work overtime you won’t be capable of doing much more than falling on your bed and sleeping till the morning.

If you want to have enough energy to have a life separate from your career, then you should definitely end your workday at a fixed time, so that you can organize your schedule better.

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2. Rest for thirty minutes alone

These days, we are all somehow always in a hurry. We don’t know how to rest and relax anymore. Even having coffee with friends seems to have become a quick 30 minute update of what’s happening in their lives. When was the last time you just sat in a quiet environment and let your thoughts fly around the room?

In order to cope with all the stress you are facing every day, you need to learn to evaluate your day and think about everything that happened. If you don’t, you just pile up all the negativity, and start doing something else as soon as you get home, until you forget everything. However, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother you subconsciously. So, sit down for at least 30 minutes, take a cup of coffee or tea, and turn off everything that can distract you. Don’t let anything disturb you while you enjoy the silence. This way, you will definitely get some rest from the busy day behind you, and solve all the problems in your head.

3. Plan your next week during the weekend

We tend to make a lot of plans for the following week, but often forget about them, even if we have written them down. Because of this, you should take an hour to organize your life during the weekend.

Moreover, when you make a plan to have dinner with family or friends, you usually write it down while you are in a hurry, or just agree, relying on your good memory to keep a schedule. When you sit down on Saturday or Sunday, don’t forget to go through your mail and messages and check if you agreed to something you possibly forgot.

4. Say “no”

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

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You don’t have much time after work to do everything you want to, so you need to learn to say “no” to people if you want to survive your working week. I’m sure you want to see your friend, parents, fix something around your house, and spend quality time with your family after work; unfortunately, the day is really short, and you cannot make it all happen.

Lucky for you, there are more days in the week, so you will certainly find an hour to see your friends some other day. If you still cannot make it, don’t force your plans, but tell your friends or family that you’ll inform them when you will be available during the weekend and see if that suits them. Now you understand the importance of that one hour of planning, scheduling, and writing everything down.

Also, if your colleagues want you to help them with something that you’ll have to work overtime for, don’t automatically say “yes” but think about it. If you reschedule something at the last minute, it can make a complete chaos in your weekly schedule.

5. Write a blog

“Writing is the only way I have to explain my own life to myself.” – Pat Conroy

Nowadays, almost everyone has a blog and writes their opinion on a wide range of topics. If you ever wondered why people do it, maybe you should start your own blog and see for yourself. Writing our thoughts and sharing can help us deal with certain situations and be a reminder of how we felt at a certain point in our life. Basically, it is your journal that helps you avoid making the same mistakes, while at the same time helping other people deal with similar issues.

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Your life is probably chaotic, and planning is getting tougher. When writing, your chaotic blog posts will soon become organized articles, and this will train your brain to start thinking in a more structured and logical manner. Also, both your job and private life will benefit, as you will have a clear picture of how you evolved as a person and the things you have accomplished along the way. Getting started is fairly easy, you just need to think of a good name, register a domain name, look into affordable hosting, and get a nice WordPress theme (a lot of which are free).

You can have a blog up and running within a day, and then you can start expressing your creativity, which will help you deal with your problems and emotions, and help you gain a few online followers. After some time of writing a blog, compare your decisions to the ones you were making before you started writing regularly. Don’t be surprised to find a noticeable improvement.

6. Know your priorities

In order to better utilize your time, you need to know your priorities. Don’t neglect important things in your life, just because something comes up unexpectedly. If you really want something, you’ll make it happen. The best way to make it happen is not to let other things get in the way.

If your child has their first recital, and you have a lot of work left to complete for tomorrow, remember that big moment will stay imprinted in your child’s memory forever. It is very important to be capable of filtering things, so feel free to postpone a few unimportant tasks and write them down on a piece of paper. You’ll find a way to make them happen later.

7. Adapt other plans to your schedule

Having a life outside of work is incredibly important. During your free time, you can recharge your batteries, do your favorite hobby and be with your family. When planning some other events, make sure you don’t adapt your personal schedule to them, but vice versa.

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8. Exercise before work

By exercising before work you will leave more time after work to dedicate to some other responsibilities, and at the same time prepare yourself for the stressful day ahead of you. If you are used to exercising after work, try jogging or working out in the morning instead. You’ll certainly increase your productivity, as those endorphins will help you keep your cool and stay focused. If you haven’t tried doing exercises in the morning, definitely give it a go and see how your body and mind respond.

9. Ignore social media and turn off your laptop

This has certainly happened to you at some point. You start scrolling your News Feed or chatting with your friends, and when you look at the watch you realize you’ve been doing that for an hour or even more. This is a really bad habit, as you waste a lot of time on something pointless. When you come home from work, and you immediately start logging into all of your accounts, you begin to slowly distance yourself from reality and you lose track of time. This way, instead of playing or talking with your partner and children, you end up wasting time on social media.

If you want to be productive, use the time spent on Facebook or Twitter to promote yourself or your company, and keep it short. You can use the hour or two you’ll save to grab a drink with your friends at the closest bar, and get your news and gossip firsthand. You cannot just disconnect, as we are all used to going through our News Feeds, but you can set a reminder and limit your use of social media.

10. Don’t plan too many things

People become chaotic and disorganized when they want to squeeze all of their plans in one evening. Now, you need to face it – it is impossible. It is completely understandable that you want to do all of those interesting things at once, but you cannot clone yourself (at least for now).

Don’t plan too many things. By using your priority formula and the saying “no” strategy, you can easily decide what plans you’ll go through with, and which ones will have to be postponed or even cancelled. Even if you manage to make a tight schedule that will allow you to do it all, you’ll still sacrifice something and only be in a hurry the whole time.

Conclusion

There are a lot of things happening in our lives. It’s really hard to keep track of everything that is happening. However, you need to think about your family, friends, and yourself in order to be able to organize well and utilize your time after work in the best possible manner.

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Ivan Dimitrijevic

Ivan is the CEO and founder of a digital marketing company. He has years of experiences in team management, entrepreneurship and productivity.

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with It and Enjoy the Ride

13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with It and Enjoy the Ride

Fear. I spend my life talking about fear — fighting fears, fixing fears and understanding fears. And yet I doubt I get 10 calls a year from people saying “Mandie can you help me fix my fear?”

Why is this so critically important to you?

The realization for me is that fear is not the fundamental driving force in your life it’s what regardless of whether I’m talking to a doctor, a teacher, a CEO’s, a senior citizens or teenager – every single one of those conversations has a direct correlation with your world.

Fear can range from the overwhelming desire to look away or stop in your tracks to literally fleeing your country and the life you knew. In this article, I will share you with 13 tips to face your fears and enjoy the ride.

1. Know That Fear Is Real, but Can Be Overcome

Right now around the world people are facing fear — real fear. Fear that I pray my children and I will never experience. Does that lessen my fears or your fears in your relativity safe 21st century life?

When I look at the world we all live in, I find that fear like so many other emotions can mean so many different things to so many different people:

  • The child who has to be physically dragged to their first day of school.
  • The man facing the judge.
  • The woman with her hand poised over the buttons over her phone because she has to walk down a dark corridor late at night alone.
  • The man as the surgeon says “count backwards from 10 Mr Smith.”
  • The woman that’s told “We are sorry, we can’t help you.”
  • The man that faces the empty circle of a gun and prays for his very existence.

These and a million more (Portrayed in every kind of movie, book or song you could imagine) are what make us human. We face fear and somehow move forward or are stopped in our tracks.

Like the rabbit in the headlights of the car that veers off through the field away from the tyres of the car or stays still praying for salvation. Like someone will save them. Sound familiar?

Fear is huge. Fear is everywhere and yet fear can be overcome, controlled and can even be a power for good.

2. Accept Your Fear

Firstly if you aren’t facing the barrel of the gun, atrocities that make the news or impeding death, that’s a good start. However it doesn’t mean your fear is any less real.

We are quick to say “I can’t moan, my life is not as bad as X.” While in theory, that’s honorable your appreciation of Mr. or Mrs. X’s horrific life won’t change anything directly. So accept your fear is relative to you.

And here’s what can be done.

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3. Get Some Perspective

I found myself asking anyone that would answer “what is your worst fear”. The answer that intrigued me the most came from my daughter (15 years old and she usually has a copy of Fight the Fear – my book – in her school bag so she can help someone else be as positive and confident as her. No matter what life throws up.)

And her fear, surprised me — heights. I pointed out that we live in a sprawling bungalow (one storey) and the highest she goes is two storeys’ at school! She laughed but added, fear isn’t like that Mum. I know it’s not a real fear, but it’s like when you stand on a chair and feel unsafe.

That girl will go far. Because she truly gets fear.

We know something is scary and yet we still do it. Why? Because we have a perspective to the fear. When you lose perspective, it can feel too big, and too scary.

So look around you to get some perspective on your fear:

  • Are you really at risk?
  • Will this kill you?
  • Which leads us on to..
  • If the worse was to happen what would it be?

4. Hold a Hand

As a coach, it is my job to holds someone’s metaphorical hand and help them face a fear.

Like the child petrified of the thunder storm or the teen that can’t get back in a car again after failing their test, your job as a parent is to reassure, encourage, enable and motivate someone to face something that ideally they never would choose to again.

We know many of our fears aren’t real. However, it is only when someone guides us with love, respect, lack of judgement and safety are we able to get through fear. And trust me, you can get through your fears. I’ve seen it so many times.

Ask yourself:

  • If the worse were to happen, what would that be?
  • Could that really happen?
  • If the worse did happen, how would you recover?
  • If the worse were to happen, what would you need to do next?

By seeing fear as not the end destination but part of being human, you can see through it’s wily evil ways and move forward.

5. Know Whose Hand You Hold Either Physically or Emotionally

This helps with fears for the rest of your life.

Think of someone you can always rely on (and ideally you won’t just answer yourself because that adds a lot of pressure to your existence!) And you will find that you’ve already found a way to get through fear.

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The beauty of this is that it means that fear becomes part of life not something to be feared and shied away from.

It means you know you can turn to your friend, partner, colleague, parent, sibling and say “Right I need to deal with this, and I’m going to need you to help me.”

For one moment, think about it from the other person’s view point. When we get to help other people we feel valued, loved, respected and lots of other positive emotions and we get a good dose of positive chemicals setting off in our bodies too.

Your fear, and your determination to fight it, helped someone else too. Now that’s cool right?

6. Understand That There Are Some Things Fear Will Never Touch

I like to find role models in life — people who have faced heroism, history changing moments, war, atrocities, miracles, life saving inventions.

Not everyone was looking for greatness, however they all found it. And one of my favourite books to date is written about Alistair Urquhart, the forgotten highlander. If this doesn’t get turned into a film in the future, then no man’s story is likely to.

Alistair went through the most horrific experiences in the 2nd world war. If you think of one of the awful things that happened back then in our world, Alistair went through at least 3 of them! Asked afterwards how did you cope? He talked about how whatever they did to his body, no matter how they starved, tortured, threatened or mocked him, they couldn’t have his mind. In his mind he was free.

Of all the people’s voices I’ve heard in my head over the years, this is one of those statements that reminds me anything is possible if you have faith and hope.

Look for the things in life that fear can’t touch. They will create confidence and faith for the future, whatever you face. And they will give you a sense of why being you is awesome.

Of all the billions of people on this planet, no one will have an answer identical to yours!

7. Process Your Fears to Carry on with Life

Being brave is not about sticking your chest out and smiling regardless of what hell you endure. It is about finding a way to emotionally process your fears to be able to keep going.

I have a tool kit of things I can rely on – tools, strategies, techniques. They include people to hug or talk to, music. hobbies, walks on the beach and even my favourite food. It sounds mad but at the times where I have questioned “how will I get through this?” I’ve found immense joy in doing the most unlikely of thing that makes me smile.

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It may be a short lived moment of happiness. However, it reminded that nothing stays the same and I can find away.

One client told me that it was crazy when it felt like their world was falling around their ears to run a bath to the brim (you don’t waste water) get the best bath oils, light too many candles, lock the door and drink a glass of bubbly (champagne is only for special occasions.)

Did that moment fix the disaster that my clients life felt? No, however it gave them a moment of calm and the brain is far quicker to find solutions, resolve and motivation to keep going when you do that.

It may feel like madness to do something you love, however it can be a powerful way to help you find solutions to the fears you face in life.

8. Assume the Worse

If you read the statement from the client above. Notice how they assumed it was wrong to fill the bath up to the top? How bubbly is only for special occasions?

Think how naughty they felt to be doing something that was not allowed?

  • Think about what age it may have made them feel?
  • Think about how they feel about champagne?
  • What special moments it’s been a part of in their lives?

And you can see how the assumptions they made about their “right” to have these things was not healthy.

When I drag the assumptions out of people’s words for them to see, they are often struck by how negative the words make them feel.

Don’t assume your words aren’t impacting on you. You can go through fear and actually enjoy the ride when you take the time to understand how you are letting words get to you.

9. Take a Fear That Feels Insurmountable Right Now.

If you were to repeat it to me out loud, what would you say?

Would you have blame on yourself in there? Would you assume others can do it and it’s just you? Would you feel small, unsuccessful, useless, unworthy?

Usually, when you do this exercise, you are able to spot the untruths that run wild in your head convincing you that you are doomed. And rarely when we are faced with our assumptions is there is a lot of evidence to them.

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10. You Are Not Defined by Your Fear

One fear does not define your life – be mindful of that. It is likely to lead you to thinking of all the times you’ve succeeded and bring a moment of calm, confidence and faith back to you.

11. Go with Fear

When you learn to go with fear, you could find yourself actually having fun, no seriously – having fun.

I have a few amazing clients I’m working with right now who would describe themselves as life long worriers, or pessimists. In the past that has served them well, enabling them to keep safe, steer clear of risks and even develop strategies in the event of disasters. However, now they find it’s becoming hard to break the cycle and they really want to because it’s holding them back.

Notice how they’ve found their hidden fears and want to face them?

One client said “I knew this was going to be tough, and I knew I couldn’t fight it alone and I knew you would be the one to help me.” Before I sat an incredibly successful, confident, capable business owner with a family and a social life to die for.

However, I’ve learned that the most successful looking lives can hide things that impact on life, success, love, happiness and business.

We didn’t start with the fear that they felt was holding them back, we broke the fear down, and found lots of little obstacles that had been deemed as “life” and “unchangeable” and “that’s just the way it is” by developing awareness to the little steps on the road to their obstacles to happiness and success they were able to tackle them in a different way.

12. Discover Great Skills in Your Scary Moments

And in that clients words “I came here to work with you to grow my company, and my own personal skills. I didn’t expect to get the children to be cleaning up after themselves and my partner being more attentive! It all feels a little magic.”

The moral is that out of the scariest of moments, we can find great skills we didn’t know we had. Find better, healthier, happier ways to live and find ways to enjoy life more. (And have a bit of magic!)

What a great place to be in ready for the next fear that thinks it’s going to get in the way of you, right?

13. Own Your Fear

Think back over these tips and come up with at least one example for each one. Write them down. Put them on your phone. Turn them into a piece of art. Turn them into a poem. Frame them. Go for a fast walk across the fields, beach, down town and repeat these things in your head to the sound of your feet on the ground.

We rarely take the time to appreciate how far we have come, how much we can achieve or what we are capable of – by really owning the tips in this article you will have given your brain a big fat dose of “Damn right I can do this!” and the motivation and accountability to say “Let’s find a way” through any fear.

You can’t help but feel good when you see that can you? And fear doesn’t stand a chance, does it?

More Resources About Fighting Fear

Featured photo credit: Ben White via unsplash.com

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