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What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

What do we talk about when we talk about love?

When we talk about love, we talk about something intangible, something that only exists in our hearts and minds. We talk about the feeling that has the power to bring happiness, fulfillment ,and joy. At the same time, we talk about a feeling that can lead to jealousy, frustration and anger.

Love is a coin with two heads. It is like a talented actor who can play two completely different characters without changing anything about his appearance. Love is tricky, deceitful, and probably the most incredible and indescribable feeling that exists.

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1. Love is beautiful and dangerous.

Love can be extremely beautiful. The feeling that you have when you look into the eyes of your child, a beloved family member or the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is indescribable. You can’t really explain why you have tears in your eyes by looking at this person, but for some magical reason, it feels just perfect.

At the same time, love can be dangerous. It can be dangerous when the person you look at doesn’t reciprocate your love. It can be dangerous when you love someone who doesn’t have the emotional strengths to allow love, or who is in a loving relationship with another person who would do anything to protect this love.

Love is the most beautiful thing on earth when it meets two people who want the same, but it can be extremely dangerous if it meets two people who want entirely different things.

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2. Love is reasoning without logic.

When you are in love with someone you see a different version of this person than all the other people. You see a perfect version, while the others see the real version. A person who is in love has the astonishing skill to ignore all the negative qualities and characteristics of the person he or she loves.

Even though the person you are in love with might not be good for you, you convince yourself that he or she is the perfect partner and the perfect human being.

Your emotions blind your logical reasoning. You don’t support your reasoning with logic. You support your reasoning with your emotions. This has nothing to do with reasoning, but with delusion.

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3. Love is the alleyway between reality and fantasy.

Now you already know that the person you are in love with is not really the way you see him or her. The person you love is different, more vulnerable and more human. The moment you realize that the person you love is a normal human being, just like you, is a determining moment.

In this very moment most people decide to end a fake love, even though they had the potential to experience what it really means to love. This is the moment in which you either decide to give into your fantasy and to refuse to accept reality, or to embrace reality and to love someone with honesty and authenticity.

4. Love is fear and happiness.

Love without fear barely exists and love that is based on fear can never survive. Jealousy, mistrust and a possessive mentality are the result of a love that is based on fear. This has nothing to do with real love. It is just a cocktail of negative emotions that are based on your own insecurities that you label as love.

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The sad truth is that a lot of people believe that negative emotions, such as jealousy, are a completely normal aspect of love. What they don’t realize is that real love that is based on affection, respect and empathy doesn’t know any negative and damaging feelings.

True love makes healthy and happy. Love that is based on fear makes both partners miserable and leaves them with the belief that finding love is impossible. It’s important to understand that finding true love is not impossible, unless you build it on the wrong foundation.

5. Love is acceptance without judgement.

Being in love means accepting the person you love the way he or she is. There are already too many people out there who try to change the person they are in love with, which eventually ends in a painful loss that could be avoided. It could be avoided by practicing acceptance.

It is easy to accept the positive sides of another human being, but it can be quite tough to accept the negative sides. However, you have to understand that no human being is perfect and that true love can only arise when you are willing to accept the person you love.

Yes, that means accepting weaknesses, different opinions, and different values. You are not the person you love and he or she is not you. You are two individuals who deserve to be accepted without any judgement. This acceptance is what creates the wonderful feeling that writers and musicians all over the world call unconditional love.

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

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What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

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5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

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Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

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Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

The Bottom Line

Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

More Tips About Staying Motivated

Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

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