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What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

What do we talk about when we talk about love?

When we talk about love, we talk about something intangible, something that only exists in our hearts and minds. We talk about the feeling that has the power to bring happiness, fulfillment ,and joy. At the same time, we talk about a feeling that can lead to jealousy, frustration and anger.

Love is a coin with two heads. It is like a talented actor who can play two completely different characters without changing anything about his appearance. Love is tricky, deceitful, and probably the most incredible and indescribable feeling that exists.

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1. Love is beautiful and dangerous.

Love can be extremely beautiful. The feeling that you have when you look into the eyes of your child, a beloved family member or the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is indescribable. You can’t really explain why you have tears in your eyes by looking at this person, but for some magical reason, it feels just perfect.

At the same time, love can be dangerous. It can be dangerous when the person you look at doesn’t reciprocate your love. It can be dangerous when you love someone who doesn’t have the emotional strengths to allow love, or who is in a loving relationship with another person who would do anything to protect this love.

Love is the most beautiful thing on earth when it meets two people who want the same, but it can be extremely dangerous if it meets two people who want entirely different things.

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2. Love is reasoning without logic.

When you are in love with someone you see a different version of this person than all the other people. You see a perfect version, while the others see the real version. A person who is in love has the astonishing skill to ignore all the negative qualities and characteristics of the person he or she loves.

Even though the person you are in love with might not be good for you, you convince yourself that he or she is the perfect partner and the perfect human being.

Your emotions blind your logical reasoning. You don’t support your reasoning with logic. You support your reasoning with your emotions. This has nothing to do with reasoning, but with delusion.

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3. Love is the alleyway between reality and fantasy.

Now you already know that the person you are in love with is not really the way you see him or her. The person you love is different, more vulnerable and more human. The moment you realize that the person you love is a normal human being, just like you, is a determining moment.

In this very moment most people decide to end a fake love, even though they had the potential to experience what it really means to love. This is the moment in which you either decide to give into your fantasy and to refuse to accept reality, or to embrace reality and to love someone with honesty and authenticity.

4. Love is fear and happiness.

Love without fear barely exists and love that is based on fear can never survive. Jealousy, mistrust and a possessive mentality are the result of a love that is based on fear. This has nothing to do with real love. It is just a cocktail of negative emotions that are based on your own insecurities that you label as love.

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The sad truth is that a lot of people believe that negative emotions, such as jealousy, are a completely normal aspect of love. What they don’t realize is that real love that is based on affection, respect and empathy doesn’t know any negative and damaging feelings.

True love makes healthy and happy. Love that is based on fear makes both partners miserable and leaves them with the belief that finding love is impossible. It’s important to understand that finding true love is not impossible, unless you build it on the wrong foundation.

5. Love is acceptance without judgement.

Being in love means accepting the person you love the way he or she is. There are already too many people out there who try to change the person they are in love with, which eventually ends in a painful loss that could be avoided. It could be avoided by practicing acceptance.

It is easy to accept the positive sides of another human being, but it can be quite tough to accept the negative sides. However, you have to understand that no human being is perfect and that true love can only arise when you are willing to accept the person you love.

Yes, that means accepting weaknesses, different opinions, and different values. You are not the person you love and he or she is not you. You are two individuals who deserve to be accepted without any judgement. This acceptance is what creates the wonderful feeling that writers and musicians all over the world call unconditional love.

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Last Updated on August 20, 2018

Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

Do you know that feeling? The one where you have to wake up to go to your boring 9-5 job to work with the same boring colleagues who don’t appreciate what you do.

I do, and that’s why I’ve decided to quit my job and follow my passion. This, however, requires a solid plan and some guts.

The one who perseveres doesn’t always win. Sometimes life has more to offer when you quit your current job. Yes, I know. It’s overwhelming and scary.

People who quit are often seen as ‘losers’. They say: “You should finish what you’ve started”.

I know like no other that quitting your job can be very stressful. A dozen questions come up when you’re thinking about quitting your job, most starting with: What if?

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“What if I don’t find a job I love and regret quitting my current job?”
“What if I can’t find another job and I get in debt because I can’t pay my bills?”
“What if my family and friends judge me and disapprove of the decisions I make?”
“What if I quit my job to pursue my dream, but I fail?

After all, if you admit to the truth of your surroundings, you’re forced to acknowledge that you’ve made a wrong decision by choosing your current job. But don’t forget that quitting certain things in life can be the path to your success!

One of my favorite quotes by Henry Ford:

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

Everything takes energy

Everything you do in life takes energy. It takes energy to participate in your weekly activities. It takes energy to commute to work every day. It takes energy to organize your sister’s big wedding.

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Each of the responsibilities we have take a little bit of our energy. We only have a certain amount of energy a day, so we have to spend it wisely.  Same goes for our time. The only things we can’t buy in this world are time and energy. Yes, you could buy an energy drink, but will it feel the same as eight hours of sleep? Will it be as healthy?

The more stress there is in your life, the less focus you have. This will weaken your results.

Find something that is worth doing

Do you have to quit every time the going gets touch? Absolutely not! You should quit when you’ve put everything you’ve got into something, but don’t see a bright future in it.

When you do something you love and that has purpose in your life, you should push through and give everything you have.

I find star athletes very inspiring. They don’t quit till they step on that stage to receive their hard earned gold medal. From the start, they know how much work its going to take and what they have to sacrifice.

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When you do something you’re really passionate about, you’re not in a downward spiral. Before you even start you can already see the finish line. The more focus you have for something, the faster you’ll reach the finish.

It is definitely possible to spend your valuable time on something you love and earn money doing it. You just have to find out how — by doing enough research.

Other excuses I often hear are:

“But I have my wife and kids, who is going to pay the bills?”
“I don’t have time for that, I’m too busy with… stuff” (Like watching TV for 2 hours every day.)
“At least I get the same paycheck every month if I work for a boss.”
“Quitting my job is too much risk with this crisis.”

I understand those points. But if you’ve never tried it, you’ll never know how it could be. The fear of failure keeps people from stepping out of their comfort zone.

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I’ve heard many people say, “I work to let my children make their dream come true”. I think they should rephrase that sentence to: “I pursue my dreams — to inspire and show my children anything is possible.” 

Conclusion

Think carefully about what you spend your time on. Don’t waste it on things that don’t brighten your future. Instead, search for opportunities. And come up with a solid plan before you take any impulsive actions.

Only good things happen outside of your comfort zone.

Do you dare to quit your job for more success in life?

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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