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6 Signs You’ve Become an Adult Without Realizing It

6 Signs You’ve Become an Adult Without Realizing It

As kids, we tend to think that we simply “become adults,” as if someone waves a magic wand one day and imparts us with all the knowledge needed to run the world. As we get older, we start to realize this doesn’t happen overnight. Adults are created over time by knowledge, wisdom, and experience. The transition from teenage young adult to full-fledged grown-up happens so gradually that a lot of us don’t realize it’s happened until we catch ourselves looking forward to a trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. At that point, you’ll look back and be able to pinpoint everything else about your life that makes you as “adult-ish” as you can possibly be, such as:

1. You save money for different reasons

As a teen, money existed just so you could buy new things and go new places. As a young adult, though you had a few bills to pay, they were an afterthought; money was still primarily used to have a good time. As an adult, you realize your money is never really yours, as it goes straight from your paycheck to your monthly bills. And the money you do keep gets stashed away for long-term savings. While you used to think nothing of spending $50 on a video game, you now see that $50 bill as money that could be put toward your wedding venue or to pay off a credit card. As an adult, you’ll realize you’re making more money than you ever did before…but you somehow still have less of it.

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2. You actually need to exercise

When you were younger, going to the gym was no big deal. You went to bulk up, improve your mile time, or play basketball with your friends. But if you skipped a day or two, it wouldn’t make a difference. As an adult, you’re not so much worried about bulking up or improving your mile time as you are actually being able to lift the weight or finish the mile in the first place. It’s no longer about getting “better”; it’s about maintaining. And if you miss a day, you know you’ll be paying for it for about a week. Just like your money, your health is no longer an afterthought.

3. You don’t live for crazy weekends anymore

I bet you can remember the times in your 20s when you passed on going out with your friends. You were always so afraid you’d miss something awesome, so you’d force yourself to get dressed, shell out $50+ on cover charges and alcohol, only to realize the night was a repeat of the weekend before (and the one before that, and the one before that…). As an adult, you really don’t care if you “miss out” on some huge party – because you know you’re not really missing out. You have other things to do with your life, and going out until two in the morning will only take away from these other, more important, events.

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4. You don’t care what’s “cool”

Remember as a kid when you used to make fun of older people who weren’t “with it”? Now, you’re one of those people! But that’s not a bad thing. It means you’ve stopped caring about what other people think about you, and are now focusing on what you want to do in life. You’ve stopped trying to fit in with a crowd that you weren’t meant to be in; you don’t even have time to worry about fitting in anymore. By focusing on your own life, you’ve fell in with other like-minded individuals, and enjoy not only their company, but the person you are when you’re around them.

5. You actually enjoy wholesome activities

If you told the 21-year-old me that in nine years I’d be looking forward to going to craft fairs with my wife, I would have thought you were nuts. As you get older, the weekends are no longer about who can drink the most and who can out-crazy who. The weekends become a time during which you can focus on who you are, and who you want to be, as a person. You realize there’s a lot of fun in exploring the local shops in your town that you always ignored growing up. You go to events not for the free drinks, but because you care about the actual event. And, perhaps best of all, you wake up feeling completely fine the next day.

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6. Your life didn’t turn out like you thought it would, but you’re okay with it

As I’ve alluded to, kids look at adults as if they have everything figured out, and are exactly where they want to be in life. Most adults know this is definitely not the case. Many, if not most, of our hopes and dreams never come true. But mature adults know there’s nothing wrong with that. As adults, we know we have the power to change our life if we really want to. It might take much more effort than we thought it would as kids, but the true freedom of adulthood is the ability to make something out of ourselves, and to show the world how much we’re worth.

Featured photo credit: Grown Ups / Maryam Hassan via farm2.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on October 16, 2018

What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

Are you afraid of being alone?  Do you worry about your physical safety or do you fear loneliness? These are strong negative feelings that can impact your health.

One study found that when older people are socially isolated, there is an increased risk of an earlier death,[1] by as much as 26%.

If you experience loneliness and are worried about your fear of being alone, study these 6 ways to help you find your comfort zone.

But first, the good news!

How many times have you said to yourself, ‘I just can’t wait to be alone’? This might be after a day’s work, an argument with your partner or after a noisy dinner with friends. You need time to be yourself, gather your thoughts, relish the silence and just totally chill out. These are precious moments and are very important for your own peace of mind and mental refreshment.

But for many people, this feeling is not often present and loneliness takes over. As Joss Whedon once said,

‘Loneliness is about the scariest thing out there’.

Read on and discover how you can exploit being alone to your own advantage and how you can defeat loneliness.

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1. Embrace loneliness

When you are alone, it is important to embrace it and enjoy it to the full.

Wallow in the feeling that you do not have to be accountable for anything you do. Pursue your interests and hobbies. Take up new ones. Learn new skills. Lie on the couch. Leave the kitchen in a mess. The list can go on and on, but finding the right balance is crucial.

There will be times when being on your own is perfect, but then there will be a creeping feeling that you should not be so isolated.

When you start to enjoy being alone, these 10 amazing things will happen.

Once you start feeling loneliness, then it is time to take action.

2. Facebook is not the answer

Have you noticed how people seek virtual contacts instead of a live, face-to-face interaction? It is true that social networking can provide an initial contact, but the chances of that becoming a real life personal contact is pretty slim.

Being wrapped up in a cloud of sharing, liking and commenting (and insulting!) can only increase loneliness.

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When you really want company, no one on Facebook will phone you to invite you out.

3. Stop tolerating unhappy relationships

It is a cruel fact of life that people are so scared of loneliness that they often opt into a relationship with the wrong person.

There is enormous pressure from peers, family and society in general to get married or to be in a stable, long-term relationship. When this happens, people start making wrong decisions, such as:

  • hanging out with toxic company such as dishonest or untrustworthy people;
  • getting involved with unsuitable partners because of the fear of being alone or lonesome;
  • accepting inappropriate behavior just because of loneliness;
  • seeking a temporary remedy instead of making a long-term decision.

The main problem is that you need to pause, reflect and get advice. Recognize that your fear of being alone is taking over. A rash decision now could lead to endless unhappiness.

4. Go out and meet people

It was the poet John Donne (1572 – 1631) who wrote:

‘No man is an island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent’.

Human contact is essential to surviving in this world. Instead of wallowing in boredom and sadness, you need to get out as much as possible and seek contacts.

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Being a member of a group, however tenuous, is a great way. So when you are in the gym, at church or simply at a club meeting, exploit these contacts to enlarge your social circle.

There is no point in staying at home all the time. You will not meet any new people there!

Social contacts are rather like delicate plants. You have to look after them. That means telephoning, using Skype and being there when needed.

Take a look at this guide on How to Meet New People and Make Friends with The Best.

5. Reach out to help someone in need

A burden shared is a burden halved.

Dag Hammarskjold was keenly aware of this fact when he said:

‘What makes loneliness an anguish is not that I have no one to share my burden but this: I have only my own burden to bear’.

Simply put, it is a two-way street. Helping others actually helps yourself, here’s why.

Reach out to help and people will be there when you need them.

6. Be grateful and count your blessings

Study after study shows that if people show gratitude, they will reap a bountiful harvest. These include a stronger immune system, better health, more positive energy and most important of all, feeling less lonely and isolated.

If you do not believe me, watch the video below, ‘What good is gratitude?’  Now here is the path to hope and happiness:

Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

Reference

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