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8 Powerful Thoughts That Can Make All Your Relationships Easier

8 Powerful Thoughts That Can Make All Your Relationships Easier

Thoughts. We create them nearly every second in our lives. We cannot help it. It is part of our nature. Our parents, friends, and environment have a strong influence on our thoughts. Our most powerful thoughts are often attributed to the influences of our surroundings. Your thoughts and natural processes can change the way your relationships develop. Overcoming your natural inclinations and taking time to show compassion for all people makes all of the difference in your life. Here are eight powerful thoughts that can make all of your relationships easier.

1. Race Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Race is an attribute that was inherited by birth. Some people are born of a race that faces more racial discrimination. In contrast, there are others who are born of a race who faces less racism. The reality is that racial discrimination exists all throughout the world. The best thing that we can do is show compassion towards others. Try to understand what it would be like to be of a different race and how you would feel being faced with those challenges.

Utilizing empathy can dramatically enhance the quality of our relationships. Do not view the world as a spectrum of colors. Love does not care about colors and it will always exist, regardless of the color of someone’s skin.

2. Gender Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Gender is an another attribute that was inherited by birth. Some people are men. Some people are women. Besides our genitals, we are no different. The unfortunate reality is that there are people who will favor one gender over another regarding career opportunities.

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Gender inequality is a real issue, which is why it is important to show compassion towards others. Try to understand what it would like to be a man or a woman and how you would feel being faced with those challenges. If we want people to show us empathy, we must give empathy.

3. Religion Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Religion is often something that we embrace during childhood. Commonly, our parents tell us why they subscribe to a religion and why we should subscribe it too. Religion is a choice. Whether we were raised in a certain religion or chosen one later in life, it is still our choice.

Nonetheless, religious discrimination is still an occurrence. I cannot control the demeanor of others but I can control my own demeanor. I like to look at the good qualities of someone’s religion and make that my focus. It is one good way to preserve or enhance the quality of your relationships. If you don’t know anything about a certain religion, take the time to learn about it. You might be surprised to see just how similar a lot of our traditions are to one another.

4. Sexual Orientation Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Like religion, sexual orientation is a part of who you are. Forcing someone to be a heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual is no different than forcing a horse to eating food that he or she hates. Sexual attraction differs from person to person. There is nothing wrong with any sexual orientation. People are entitled to make their own choices.

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How much is it going to cost you to show compassion towards others? Nothing. So, why not do it then?

5. Politics Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Besides religion, politics is another thing that often keeps us divided rather than united. We all have our own political views. I personally do not care to argue about them. People share different political opinions because of their external influences. If you were born and raised in a household of Democrats, it is very likely that you are a Democrat now.

I do not care about your political views. I am just happy that you care about political issues within your society. Learn to appreciate the people that care about the nation’s issues.

6. My Diet Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

I have found dietary lifestyles to be less of an issue overall. Although, there are groups of people who think they are better than others because they eat a certain way. I am a holistic nutritionist who cares about health – particularly my health. I do follow a diet that others may find unacceptable. However, their opinions do not matter to me. My health does matter to me, so I will do whatever is necessary to keep my body in the best condition.

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Many people fail to realize that there is not a blanket diet that suits everyone. There are so many factors to consider – blood types, genetic predispositions, and food sensitivities to name a few. The reality is that I do not care about your dietary lifestyle. I am just happy to see you enjoy your favorite foods.

Instead of judging someone’s diet, learn to appreciate the people that care about their health.

7. Cultural Customs Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

If you have visited or lived in another country, I am sure that you have realized that life abroad was not quite the same as life in your native country. It can be easy to become insensitive to the customs of another country when you are not familiar with that way of life.

It is not only respectful to be adaptable but it is honorable to the citizens of that country. Some people may argue that they do not want to travel and prefer to stay their native country. Although, it is impossible to ignore that immigration exists In almost every country.

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So, while you may not opt to go abroad, you will still encounter immigrants who are new to your country. Some natives are unwelcoming. Some are empathetic. Why not choose to empathize? As stated before, how much will it cost you? Nothing!

8. I Am A Human With Flaws Just Like Everyone Else

The one thing that we share is flaws. They may differ a bit but we are born with some. However, our ego often refuses to accept the reality. It just makes us ignorant and arrogant, which ultimately destroys a lot of our relationships. Over the years, I have learned that I cannot kill my ego. It is part of me. Although, I know that it does not contain my best personality traits. Therefore, it is better for it to lie dormant.

Not only will a dormant ego save your relationships but it will birth new ones. Furthermore, it will allow you to accept help from others – something that will transform the quality of your life.

None of us is perfect. We all have weaknesses. So, why not let someone who is stronger in your weaker areas to help you out?

Featured photo credit: geralt via pixabay.com

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Kallen Diggs

Bestselling Author / Magazine Editor / Syndicated Radio Show Host

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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