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8 Powerful Thoughts That Can Make All Your Relationships Easier

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8 Powerful Thoughts That Can Make All Your Relationships Easier

Thoughts. We create them nearly every second in our lives. We cannot help it. It is part of our nature. Our parents, friends, and environment have a strong influence on our thoughts. Our most powerful thoughts are often attributed to the influences of our surroundings. Your thoughts and natural processes can change the way your relationships develop. Overcoming your natural inclinations and taking time to show compassion for all people makes all of the difference in your life. Here are eight powerful thoughts that can make all of your relationships easier.

1. Race Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Race is an attribute that was inherited by birth. Some people are born of a race that faces more racial discrimination. In contrast, there are others who are born of a race who faces less racism. The reality is that racial discrimination exists all throughout the world. The best thing that we can do is show compassion towards others. Try to understand what it would be like to be of a different race and how you would feel being faced with those challenges.

Utilizing empathy can dramatically enhance the quality of our relationships. Do not view the world as a spectrum of colors. Love does not care about colors and it will always exist, regardless of the color of someone’s skin.

2. Gender Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Gender is an another attribute that was inherited by birth. Some people are men. Some people are women. Besides our genitals, we are no different. The unfortunate reality is that there are people who will favor one gender over another regarding career opportunities.

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Gender inequality is a real issue, which is why it is important to show compassion towards others. Try to understand what it would like to be a man or a woman and how you would feel being faced with those challenges. If we want people to show us empathy, we must give empathy.

3. Religion Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Religion is often something that we embrace during childhood. Commonly, our parents tell us why they subscribe to a religion and why we should subscribe it too. Religion is a choice. Whether we were raised in a certain religion or chosen one later in life, it is still our choice.

Nonetheless, religious discrimination is still an occurrence. I cannot control the demeanor of others but I can control my own demeanor. I like to look at the good qualities of someone’s religion and make that my focus. It is one good way to preserve or enhance the quality of your relationships. If you don’t know anything about a certain religion, take the time to learn about it. You might be surprised to see just how similar a lot of our traditions are to one another.

4. Sexual Orientation Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Like religion, sexual orientation is a part of who you are. Forcing someone to be a heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual is no different than forcing a horse to eating food that he or she hates. Sexual attraction differs from person to person. There is nothing wrong with any sexual orientation. People are entitled to make their own choices.

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How much is it going to cost you to show compassion towards others? Nothing. So, why not do it then?

5. Politics Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Besides religion, politics is another thing that often keeps us divided rather than united. We all have our own political views. I personally do not care to argue about them. People share different political opinions because of their external influences. If you were born and raised in a household of Democrats, it is very likely that you are a Democrat now.

I do not care about your political views. I am just happy that you care about political issues within your society. Learn to appreciate the people that care about the nation’s issues.

6. My Diet Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

I have found dietary lifestyles to be less of an issue overall. Although, there are groups of people who think they are better than others because they eat a certain way. I am a holistic nutritionist who cares about health – particularly my health. I do follow a diet that others may find unacceptable. However, their opinions do not matter to me. My health does matter to me, so I will do whatever is necessary to keep my body in the best condition.

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Many people fail to realize that there is not a blanket diet that suits everyone. There are so many factors to consider – blood types, genetic predispositions, and food sensitivities to name a few. The reality is that I do not care about your dietary lifestyle. I am just happy to see you enjoy your favorite foods.

Instead of judging someone’s diet, learn to appreciate the people that care about their health.

7. Cultural Customs Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

If you have visited or lived in another country, I am sure that you have realized that life abroad was not quite the same as life in your native country. It can be easy to become insensitive to the customs of another country when you are not familiar with that way of life.

It is not only respectful to be adaptable but it is honorable to the citizens of that country. Some people may argue that they do not want to travel and prefer to stay their native country. Although, it is impossible to ignore that immigration exists In almost every country.

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So, while you may not opt to go abroad, you will still encounter immigrants who are new to your country. Some natives are unwelcoming. Some are empathetic. Why not choose to empathize? As stated before, how much will it cost you? Nothing!

8. I Am A Human With Flaws Just Like Everyone Else

The one thing that we share is flaws. They may differ a bit but we are born with some. However, our ego often refuses to accept the reality. It just makes us ignorant and arrogant, which ultimately destroys a lot of our relationships. Over the years, I have learned that I cannot kill my ego. It is part of me. Although, I know that it does not contain my best personality traits. Therefore, it is better for it to lie dormant.

Not only will a dormant ego save your relationships but it will birth new ones. Furthermore, it will allow you to accept help from others – something that will transform the quality of your life.

None of us is perfect. We all have weaknesses. So, why not let someone who is stronger in your weaker areas to help you out?

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Featured photo credit: geralt via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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