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8 Powerful Thoughts That Can Make All Your Relationships Easier

8 Powerful Thoughts That Can Make All Your Relationships Easier

Thoughts. We create them nearly every second in our lives. We cannot help it. It is part of our nature. Our parents, friends, and environment have a strong influence on our thoughts. Our most powerful thoughts are often attributed to the influences of our surroundings. Your thoughts and natural processes can change the way your relationships develop. Overcoming your natural inclinations and taking time to show compassion for all people makes all of the difference in your life. Here are eight powerful thoughts that can make all of your relationships easier.

1. Race Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Race is an attribute that was inherited by birth. Some people are born of a race that faces more racial discrimination. In contrast, there are others who are born of a race who faces less racism. The reality is that racial discrimination exists all throughout the world. The best thing that we can do is show compassion towards others. Try to understand what it would be like to be of a different race and how you would feel being faced with those challenges.

Utilizing empathy can dramatically enhance the quality of our relationships. Do not view the world as a spectrum of colors. Love does not care about colors and it will always exist, regardless of the color of someone’s skin.

2. Gender Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Gender is an another attribute that was inherited by birth. Some people are men. Some people are women. Besides our genitals, we are no different. The unfortunate reality is that there are people who will favor one gender over another regarding career opportunities.

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Gender inequality is a real issue, which is why it is important to show compassion towards others. Try to understand what it would like to be a man or a woman and how you would feel being faced with those challenges. If we want people to show us empathy, we must give empathy.

3. Religion Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Religion is often something that we embrace during childhood. Commonly, our parents tell us why they subscribe to a religion and why we should subscribe it too. Religion is a choice. Whether we were raised in a certain religion or chosen one later in life, it is still our choice.

Nonetheless, religious discrimination is still an occurrence. I cannot control the demeanor of others but I can control my own demeanor. I like to look at the good qualities of someone’s religion and make that my focus. It is one good way to preserve or enhance the quality of your relationships. If you don’t know anything about a certain religion, take the time to learn about it. You might be surprised to see just how similar a lot of our traditions are to one another.

4. Sexual Orientation Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Like religion, sexual orientation is a part of who you are. Forcing someone to be a heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual is no different than forcing a horse to eating food that he or she hates. Sexual attraction differs from person to person. There is nothing wrong with any sexual orientation. People are entitled to make their own choices.

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How much is it going to cost you to show compassion towards others? Nothing. So, why not do it then?

5. Politics Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

Besides religion, politics is another thing that often keeps us divided rather than united. We all have our own political views. I personally do not care to argue about them. People share different political opinions because of their external influences. If you were born and raised in a household of Democrats, it is very likely that you are a Democrat now.

I do not care about your political views. I am just happy that you care about political issues within your society. Learn to appreciate the people that care about the nation’s issues.

6. My Diet Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

I have found dietary lifestyles to be less of an issue overall. Although, there are groups of people who think they are better than others because they eat a certain way. I am a holistic nutritionist who cares about health – particularly my health. I do follow a diet that others may find unacceptable. However, their opinions do not matter to me. My health does matter to me, so I will do whatever is necessary to keep my body in the best condition.

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Many people fail to realize that there is not a blanket diet that suits everyone. There are so many factors to consider – blood types, genetic predispositions, and food sensitivities to name a few. The reality is that I do not care about your dietary lifestyle. I am just happy to see you enjoy your favorite foods.

Instead of judging someone’s diet, learn to appreciate the people that care about their health.

7. Cultural Customs Will Not Impede My Ability To Show Compassion Towards Others

If you have visited or lived in another country, I am sure that you have realized that life abroad was not quite the same as life in your native country. It can be easy to become insensitive to the customs of another country when you are not familiar with that way of life.

It is not only respectful to be adaptable but it is honorable to the citizens of that country. Some people may argue that they do not want to travel and prefer to stay their native country. Although, it is impossible to ignore that immigration exists In almost every country.

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So, while you may not opt to go abroad, you will still encounter immigrants who are new to your country. Some natives are unwelcoming. Some are empathetic. Why not choose to empathize? As stated before, how much will it cost you? Nothing!

8. I Am A Human With Flaws Just Like Everyone Else

The one thing that we share is flaws. They may differ a bit but we are born with some. However, our ego often refuses to accept the reality. It just makes us ignorant and arrogant, which ultimately destroys a lot of our relationships. Over the years, I have learned that I cannot kill my ego. It is part of me. Although, I know that it does not contain my best personality traits. Therefore, it is better for it to lie dormant.

Not only will a dormant ego save your relationships but it will birth new ones. Furthermore, it will allow you to accept help from others – something that will transform the quality of your life.

None of us is perfect. We all have weaknesses. So, why not let someone who is stronger in your weaker areas to help you out?

Featured photo credit: geralt via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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