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Why Grateful People Live Longer And Lead A Happier Life

Why Grateful People Live Longer And Lead A Happier Life

Thank You! Thank You and Thank You!! We say it on a daily basis almost out of courtesy at times or to display our good mannerisms and at times when we truly feel thankful. A bigger version of this is played out on “Giving Thanks Day,” aka Thanksgiving, where we express how thankful we are for our family and other blessings in our life. When we are truly thankful and we feel it deep inside us, we are grateful. Grateful for our friends, family, our material goods, our health, and various other blessings in our lives. Feeling grateful forces our minds to adopt an abundance mindset as opposed to a scarcity based one, where you feel you are lacking something. An abundant mindset is key to our growth and well-being. Stephen Covey in his famous book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective people clearly explains the differences between a scarcity mindset and an abundant mindset. “It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody,” he said.

Gratitude has produced such miraculous results for people that scientists have been seriously studying the practice of gratefulness and its effect on physical and psychosocial benefits. Heartfelt gratitude not only makes us feel happy, but a host of other benefits. Let’s start with the obvious one.

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When you are grateful,

You’ll Feel Happy:

One study conducted by Robert Emmons at the University of Berkeley, California, divided participants into 3 groups and asked them to maintain a journal for 10 weeks. One group was asked to write a list of 10 things they were grateful for the past week. The second group was asked to list 10 minor annoyances in the past week and the third group was asked to write about 10 things that impacted their lives in the past week, with no further direction. At the end of 10 weeks, the first group folks were reported feeling 25% more happier than the other groups. Robert Emmons has written multiple books on happiness and gratitude. You can check them out here. Emmons book, ‘Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier ” is a must read! Sonya Lyobomirsky, professor in the Department of Psychology and University of California and author of “The How of Happiness’, describes gratitude as the meta strategy to achieve happiness. “Gratitude is many things to many people,” she says. “It is wonder; it is appreciation; it is looking on the bright side of a setback; it is fathoming abundance; it is thanking someone in your life; it is thanking God; it is ‘counting blessings.’ It is savoring; it is not taking things for granted; it is coping; it is present-oriented.”

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Your Physical Vitality Improves:

Surprisingly or not so surprisingly, gratitude improves our physical health. How, you ask? Firstly, gratitude helps lower our stress levels. Its no secret that stress has been proven to be a major cause of heart attacks and other chronic conditions. Gratitude leads to a positive outlook and spurs an optimistic approach to life. Optimism in turn has been linked to increased immunity boosting cells. “Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet, regular physical examinations,” Emmons told WebMD. A study conducted by California based Paul Mills, professor of family medicine at University of California, shows us that a “grateful heart is indeed a healthy heart”.

Your Personal Relationships Get Stronger:

Gratitude helps brings partners closer together. This appreciation is not only what a partner does for you in a relationship but also appreciating the partner for who he/she is. This fosters a sense of commitment towards each other and towards growing the relationship. Individuals are more thoughtful in their words and actions toward their partners thereby helping the intimacy grow. Feeling appreciated and valued by one’s partner makes a world of difference to the relationship and helps it get stronger. A study conducted by Allen Barton of the University of Georgia affirms this. “We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last,” said study co-author Ted Futris.

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You’ll Be More Resilient:

Noticing and appreciating our blessings  regularly attunes us to notice the good in everything and everyone. This constant attention to seeing the good in every situation helps us bounce back stronger and quicker. Barbara Fredickson, author of Positivity and Love 2.0 attributes gratitude to be a key factor in building resilience. According to Fredrickson, “When adversity strikes, gratitude for the things that are going right in your life helps put tragedy in perspective”. Another tactic that she recommends is ‘un-adapting’. This involves consciously drawing attention to the things we take for granted in our lives, like a roof over our heads, a steady career, food and other things. Again, this cultivates that abundance mindset leading to stronger abilities to bounce back in adverse situations.

You’ll Sleep Better:

Count your blessings to sleep better! Gratitude promotes a feeling of trust and “all is well in my world”. This in turn helps you sleep better by reducing your stress and worry about day-to-day things. A study conducted measured the quality of quantity of sleep in its participants as a result of expressing gratitude. The study confirms the positive effect of gratitude on sleep. People slept longer, woke up less and felt more refreshed when partaking in a gratitude practice.

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Your Life Satisfaction Score Goes Up:

Studies conducted and summarized in the paper show a definitive uptick with one’s life satisfaction. Positive thoughts leading to thoughtful positive actions, increased physical vitality, stronger relationships, optimistic thoughts,  all together cause an overall increase in one’s sense of well-being.

Emmons rightfully said ” Don’t leave thanks at the thanksgiving table”. Gratitude is a muscle in us that needs to be built consciously. Maintain a gratitude practice that works for you and your schedule and stick to it daily. It does not have to be anything fancy. It can range from meditating 5 mins a day, to being mindful, keeping a gratitude journal, a gratitude jar, writing someone a thank you note, calling up someone and thanking them for who they are, reflecting on the things that we take for granted that are truly a blessing are some ways to incorporate gratitude in your daily life. There’s much to be said about the Power of Gratitude. So let’s say it, breathe it, live it and reap its benefits!

Featured photo credit: Depositphotos/Petarpaunchev via depositphotos.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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