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5 Ways To Be More Involved In Your Child’s Online Activity

5 Ways To Be More Involved In Your Child’s Online Activity

It is no surprise that growing up in the modern world is very different from the childhoods of decades past. One of the biggest parts of this change is due to computers and new technologies — there are so many people today that believe that their childhood without modern technology was much better than the ones today’s kids have. The latter is disputable – instead of radio shows, kids can actually watch movies or cartoons, and 3D cinema is much more spectacular than the drive-in cinemas we used to have.

Yes, kids today may not think that playing a make-believe war with sticks used for guns is actually an entertaining way to spend their free time. Yet, lamenting about their tainted childhood is not fair – it is just different. And those claiming that today’s technologies are bad simply don’t understand that it is people who make the wrong use of these conveniences.

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If you are a parent, you are probably worried about your child being plugged into the net on a daily basis. The main reason for being worried is the fact that Internet today is a huge network where anyone can find whatever they are looking for. If you want to be sure that your children are safe and sound on the Internet, the following tips will be helpful for you.

1. Show Interest In Your Child’s Online Success

This one is simple, and actually takes cues from real life. Remember when you were a child yourself, and your parents would pin all your paintings to the wall? Did it make you happy and proud? It works the same for your child.

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If your kid happens to create something on the Internet, be sure to support their work and show everyone that you are proud. This will help get rid of the confusion children tend to feel about their parents being present in their online life. It may also give them a huge push to achieving their dreams and goals.

2. Embrace Their Online Social Life

Whether it’s through Facebook, Twitter, or any other social network, be sure to friend or follow your kid. This will be a simple and non-intrusive way to monitor their online activities. Be sure not to interact too much though – liking and commenting on every post may seriously annoy anyone (not only your child), and your curiosity will result in being blocked from seeing their posts for good.

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3. Play Games Together

It’s a pity, but it’s true – there are too many people who believe that modern games make children aggressive, provoke depression, and encourage dangerous behaviors. The game itself can never do any harm – the key is to choose the right game. Kids are different, and so should be the console games you choose – there is plenty of cool stuff out there which may help your child become more active (think of Xbox with Kinect – it offers you the chance to play tennis indoors, as well as practice other active games). RPGs can even help with your kid’s psychological problems.

You will be surprised by how much laughter and happiness you will have together. Playing games will strengthen your relationships and help you become closer, which is the key to a child’s security – they will be frank with you about everything they do, and this may one day save your family from sad surprises.

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4. Make Use Of New Technologies

If you are a paranoid parent, make a use of practical ways to monitor your child’s activities. Parental monitoring apps and programs will help you prevent youngsters from seeing unsolicited materials online, as well as block them from talking to suspicious strangers.

Yet, these things don’t have to be your main tactics. It is essential that you talk to your child in a way that respects their freedom and privacy, and encourages them to be honest. Be understanding and they will not be afraid to tell you about what is happening to them online.

5. Switch Off From Being A Parent To Being A Friend

Unlike your own parents, you have no right to say new technologies are bad for your child – you use them every day yourself, and you know that the biggest problem with the Internet is actually the person who is sitting in front of the computer screen. So, it is your task to teach your kid about online life and the dangers it might bring. Concentrate more on practical things rather than morals.

Featured photo credit: Sierra College via flickr.com

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Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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