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How To Fall Asleep When Stress Creeps Over You At Night

How To Fall Asleep When Stress Creeps Over You At Night

You’re so tired, you can hardly drag yourself through the clean-up from dinner.  By the time 9pm rolls around, you fall into bed, grateful the day is done.

You turn off the light and take a breath.  Finally!  You wait for the sleep to settle over you.

It doesn’t.

Instead of the desperately needed shut-eye, thoughts of the credit card debt you still haven’t paid off begin to nudge your mind.

You roll onto your stomach. You mull over the rumors of upcoming layoffs at work. You flip over your pillow. Those bad headaches you keep getting–could they be a symptom of something worse? You roll to your left.

And then there’s the car’s sporadic engine problems and the unknown cost you imagine it will take to fix it…Your heart picks up its pace and you are now wide awake, filled with dread.

Enough! you shout at yourself. You demand that your brain shut down…but you don’t know what to do to stop these mental invaders. So you grab your phone and click on your Facebook app. Maybe the distraction will help.

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You just sabotaged a good night’s sleep.

I do it, too. In fact, millions of us do it every night. A recent study showed that 75% of us have trouble sleeping 3-4 nights a week. Chronic sleep problems can contribute to cardiac disease, a decrease in immune function, depression, anxiety and weight gain.

Got your attention with that one, didn’t I? Yes, the fat-storing hormone cortisol rises when we do not get enough sleep.

Getting a good night’s sleep is far more important that just being alert when you drive and being sharp when you work. Sleep, or lack of it, directly affects our longevity and quality of life.

Below are 21 effective methods for turning off the endless loop of worry and floating gently into the Land of Nod.

1. Read an instruction manual

Boring is good. Robert Ludlum and Stephen King are bad…at least from the stand point of getting your noggin to quiet down. No new appliances to bone up on? How about a book on nutrition or web design? You want something with no plot, no excitement, just some how-to info and facts.

2. Alphabetize fruit

I have no experience with sheep. I’ve never known anyone who actually counts sheep. (Can they really jump over fences?) So forget the sheep. For monotonous distraction, think of a fruit for each letter of the alphabet. If you make it to Z (good luck finding a fruit starting with X), start over with vegetables.

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3. Use tactical breathing

When I was in the US Army Nurse Corps, I learned all kinds of hacks for keeping your head together when under fire. Tactical breathing is by far the most effective in reducing tension and anxiety, and it works in under 30 seconds. Try it now: Slowly take a long, measured breath in through your nose counting to 4, then hold it for a count of 4. Slowly blow it out through your mouth for a count of 4, and hold your breath for another count of 4. Repeat it one more time: in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4.  Not to get too technical, but the magic here is in holding the breath–it balances the oxygen/carbon dioxide mix in the blood, and that decreases fear while also clearing the mind.

4. Problem-solve or come up with a plan of action

This is my #1 defense against anxiety-driven sleeplessness–I get a pen and paper and I make notes. I write down the thing that has me the most torqued up–maybe it’s an avalanche of tasks that must be done or maybe my company is going to be bought out and it will be time to change jobs. Regardless, I plan out what I’m going to do the next day to move through the unknown. Once that’s done, it’s all there on paper and my mind is empty enough to sleep.

5. Strip

Get out of your night clothes and lie naked between the sheets. Sometimes the wrinkles in pajamas can activate the skin sensors just enough to keep you wakeful. And if you sleep with a partner, is there anything more comforting than the warmth of skin on skin?

6. Take a bath or shower

I cannot stand having sticky, sweaty skin. Since I live in Florida, where we have only two seasons (Summer and Not Summer), I have to shower pretty much every night before bed, because if I don’t, the stickiness keeps me awake…and that can lead to anxious rumination. If showering wakes you up too much, and you have a bathtub, take a bath for just 5-10 min. It will relax you and make your skin feel oh so good.

7. Cool it down

Turn the temperature in your room down enough that you need at least a light blanket. The weight of the blanket helps to calm those skin sensors I mentioned earlier and the cool temperature is more conducive to sound sleep.

8. Clean your room

I’m not saying you should be up scrubbing your floors. All I mean is, tidy things up in your sleeping space. I can’t explain it, but I’ve heard from many of my clients over the years (and I’ve experienced it myself) that having a calm, organized sleeping space helps us to feel calm and organized internally. But (I hear you ask) the room is dark so how can it make any difference? Some say it decreases the energy in the room, but there’s no scientific evidence yet that supports that. Still…that’s how I and many others experience it. So take 5 minutes to tidy things up a bit. What could it hurt?

9. Turn on some white noise

Or put in some ear plugs. Background noise can be irritating at night and that can increase overall anxiety. I’m a big fan of fans. I like the soft white noise they create and I love how they drown out everything else.  Earplugs are a distant second, but are certainly better than listening to the garbage truck roaring down your street at 3am. It’s possible that you’re more sensitive to noises outside than you’re aware, so give it a try.

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10. Put on socks

Cold feet can keep you awake for hours, and warm socks can solve that problem quickly. (Don’t use a heating pad–it can scald you without you realizing it and it’s a fire hazard.)

11. Journal

If you’ve turned your pillow over…and over, and sleep has still kept its distance, call a truce. Turn your light on, grab a notebook or journal, and start writing from the heart. Don’t correct your spelling, don’t work at crafting the perfect sentence. Just get it out. It’s astonishing how far down you can drill into your own hidden thinking by doing this. When you have nothing left to say, put it down and turn off the light. You’ll probably fall asleep within minutes.

12. Practice head to toe progressive relaxation

Start by curling your toes and relaxing them, curling them and then relaxing. Point your feet and relax, point and relax. Move up the body, doing this with every major muscle group, ending with the most important muscle group–the face. Pay especially close attention to relaxing all the muscles in your face, because those muscles are tied directly to your emotions. It’s very tough to be anxious when your face is completely in repose. Try it, you’ll see.

13. Use aromatherapy

Smelling the essential oil of lavender has been shown in multiple research studies to ease emotional distress and promote restful sleep. Anecdotally, others also include lemon balm, peppermint and chamomile as calming agents. Our sense of smell has a lot more to do with health than anyone previous understood, so take a whiff and see what happens.

14. Remake your bed

Kind of like the PJs, wrinkled, disorganized sheets can make it tough to relax. And the National Sleep Foundation says that the scent of fresh, clean sheets helps people fall asleep faster. So, remake your bed…assuming of course that you’re sleeping alone.

15. Spend some time in prayer or mediation

Sitting in bed, back up against the wall, legs crossed or straight out, close your eyes and put all of your attention on your breath. Work at slowing it down, making it measured and full. Spend some time on this. Maybe do some progressive relaxation while continuing to do conscious breathing. As something floats into your thoughts, just tell it you’re a bit busy and will tend to it tomorrow. Imagine yourself surrounded by angels who completely love you and want to guide you to the happiest life possible. Smile when you think of them, thank them for that love and support.  In a few minutes, you may find your head dropping down as you drop off. Again thank them for helping you get the rest you need, and slide down into your comfy bed.

16. Rock yourself gently

Some find that the motion of a rocking chair lulls them to sleep just like a baby. If you don’t have one, sit up in bed and gently rock back and forth with your eyes closed. See if that motion calms you enough to drift off.

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17. Listen to sleep-inducing music on YouTube

There is a treasure trove of wonderfully soothing music in playlist form (some of which play for more than 8 straight hours, if you want to just leave it on all night). Scroll through the options on YouTube to find the perfect one for you. For people who are especially auditory, this can be quite helpful.

18. Sing a lullaby

Hearing music that you used to listen to as a baby can trigger the pre-verbal memories of being safe and warm with love. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to let go for the night.

19. Force yourself to stay awake

Reverse psychology? Maybe, but more likely it’s a way of stopping the panic we feel when we are trying to force ourselves to drift off. And research supports this as a viable way of getting yourself to fall asleep, despite your best efforts to stay awake.

20. Make it dark

Really dark. Remove even the smallest lights from your room. Or wear an eye mask. Light pollution is a real thing and something to take seriously in your bedroom. Those electronic blue lights are the absolute worst for sleep (so maybe you want to buy a new alarm clock?), causing brain stimulation, not relaxation.

21. Just say no…

…to your beloved electronics. Smart phones, Kindles, TVs, laptops…think of them as your sleep enemies.   Their light shoots through the eyes and straight into the center of the brain that controls sleep and wakefulness. It’s the neurological equivalent of downing a Red Bull. And the mental engagement (or shall I say, rabbit hole) that social media hooks us with will blast our brains like an air horn. Smack your hand if you reflexively reach for them

So the next time you’re mind isn’t cooperating with your body’s need for sleep, don’t toss and turn, wasting the night away. Take charge of the situation by trying some of these antidotes, and you’ll grace yourself with a solid night’s rest.

Featured Photo Credit: © Bialasiewicz | Dreamstime.com – Woman Lying In Bed Sleepless Photo

Featured photo credit: http://www.dreamstime.com/bialasiewicz_info via dreamstime.com

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Last Updated on October 15, 2019

How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

What is success to you? How to be successful in life?

To some, when they think of success, they imagine wealth; others want power; some just want to make a positive impact on the world.

All of these are perfectly valid, indeed success is a concept that means different things to different people. Though no matter what success is to you, it almost certainly isn’t something will come easily.

There are countless guides and books to being successful, however, as success is personal and unique to each individual. The advice contained in these books can often not be relevant. Therefore following the advice of a single individual can often be unhelpful.

With this in mind, considering the advice of a great many people, people whose ideas of success were different both to each other, and quite possibly, to you can be a good alternative.

What follows is a list of thirteen of the best pieces of advice from some of the most successful people who have ever lived. If you want to learn how to be successful, these 13 tips are essential:

1. Think Big

    From Michelangelo Buonarroti, Great Renaissance Artist:

    “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

    There are few artists as influential as Michaelangelo. Today centuries after his death, his work still inspires and connects to people. His work is world famous, just think of his statue of David, or the Mural in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

    Imagine then, if he decided not to work as an artist.

    Being a successful artist has always been extremely difficult, imagine if he decided to give up this ambition in favour of something easier?

    Oftentimes, people often decided to put their dreams aside for something more “realistic”. To give up their dream for something easier. This quote teaches us the danger of such a point of view.
    Instead be ambitious.

    2. Find What You Love to Do and Do It

      From Oprah Winfrey, Media Mogul:

      “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”

      This is a good quote to remember and think about when you’re at work.

      Imagine being as successful as possible in your current job. Ultimately you’ll probably find yourself working extremely hard and this it will take up much of your time.

      If it’s a job you hate, then being successful at it might only mean filling your life with something you hate to do. What’s the sense in this?

      Instead, why not focus on doing something you love? When you’ve found what you’re passionate about, you get the motivation to keep you moving. Success at this means the fulfilment of your dreams.

      Not sure what your passion is yet? You should learn about this Motivation Engine first.

      Even if you’re not successful, you still filled your time with something you love to do. Many successful musicians spent years of their lives doing unpaid performances, the only reason they kept playing was because they loved to perform.

      3. Learn How to Balance Life

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        From Phil Knight, CEO of Nike Inc.:

        “There is an immutable conflict at work in life and in business, a constant battle between peace and chaos. Neither can be mastered, but both can be influenced. How you go about that is the key to success.”

        All too often, people think that to be successful, they need to make the object of their success their life.

        If a person thinks their job will lead them to success, then they may spend countless hours per day, and well into the evening working hard.

        However this comes at the cost of rest, your health and having an enjoyable life. Ultimately they may burn out and cease to be successful at their job anyway.

        If success comes from having a strong social life and a good group of friends, their job may suffer; meaning that they may lose their job, and then be unable to afford going out with friends.

        In these ways, success, as Phil Knight says above, is helped by balance. Think of it as a balance between rest and work, or work and play.

        To achieve that balance, this Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life can help you.

        4. Do Not Be Afraid of Failure

          From Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motors:

          “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

          There is a story, it’s unconfirmed whether it actually happened, yet the message within is none the less true:

          Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb was the result of several hundred failed attempts. In an interview, he was asked “How do you feel after all of your failed attempts?”

          His response was great, “I didn’t fail, I learned hundreds of ways not to invent the lightbulb”

          He saw each “failure” as a lesson. From that lesson he learned what won’t work, and also might work instead.

          Each failed attempt, each rejection, were key steps on his path to success. It is easy to feel like you should give up after a failure. But perhaps in that failure is a lesson.

          Pay attention to your failures, study them. Perhaps then you’ll learn how to succeed.

          If you find it difficult to fight your fear of failure, here’s a guide for you: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It Step-By-Step)

          5. Have an Unwavering Resolution to Succeed

            From Colonel Sanders, Founder of KFC:

            “I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know.”

            This, in many ways relates to the above quote about learning from your failures.

            It’s the easiest thing in the world to give up from a failure. The only way to push on is if you have the true burning desire to succeed, to not be moved or dissuaded from your goals.

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            If you are not truly dedicated towards success, then each failure will hurt more, each set back will slow you down.

            Success is hard; without the unwavering desire to succeed, this difficulty may seem insurmountable. With the desire, it is merely an obstacle to go through.

            6. Be a Person of Action

              From Leonardo da Vinci, Renaissance Genius:

              “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

              Though it was said hundreds of years ago, it works just as much today as it ever had. It applies to literally any successful person.

              Think about it, picture someone like William Shakespeare:

              When we think of the time he lived in, we think of the time in a way shaped by him. When we think of Renaissance era Italy, we think of Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci. Or think about the present day, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Our current way of life would simply be incomparably different if they didn’t accomplish what they did.

              You’re probably reading this article on a device by a company that they either founded or companies influenced by them.

              All these figures were proactive, they saw ways to do things differently and did them. If they let the world shape them, then they’d simply fit into the background. Instead they shaped the world.

              Applying this to you?

              Don’t be afraid of going outside the norm. If you can think of a better way to do something, do it that way. If you fail, try again.

              7. Cultivate Positive Relationships

                From Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of America: “

                The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”

                The best leaders and some of the most influential people (and Theodore Roosevelt is one of the best leaders and one of the most influential people to have lived) were not those who caused commotions, who fought with people or disregarded people; but were people who were friendly to those around them.

                People liked them. They wanted them to do well.

                This is key to good leadership.

                It’s logical. If someone likes you, they want to help you; if you give them a suggestion, they’ll gladly follow through with it.

                But if someone doesn’t like you, they may either refuse to help or actively get in your way.

                What’s more, it’s always a good idea to cultivate good relationships. You can never tell who will prove to become someone who’ll be able to help you in a big way, or even be a good and supportive friend.

                As such, help people and they may help you; and be good to people, and they my be good to you.

                8. Don’t Be Afraid of Introducing New Ideas

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                  From Mark Twain, Famed Author:

                  “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

                  It is an unfortunate truth that those with the boldest ideas are often disregarded.

                  Most of us are taught from an early age to think and do things similarly to everyone else. This can be great to fill an existing role. But to truly do things differently (and all successful people did things differently), you need to think differently.

                  If you have a new idea, don’t throw it away because it’s new and different; instead, celebrate it. Your strange new idea might one day be the one that leads you to success.

                  9. Believe in Your Capacity to Succeed

                    From Walter Disney, Founder of Walt Disney Company:

                    “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

                    Success has to be something you can imagine yourself achieving.

                    It is possible that you will come across those who doubt you and your ability to succeed. You must not become one of these people because the moment you cease believing and dreaming is the moment these dreams fall away.

                    Keep dreaming!

                    10. Always Maintain a Positive Mental Attitude

                      From Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of America:

                      “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

                      Like the above quote says, you need to trust in your ability to succeed. This is the only way to cultivate the right mindset.

                      Replace negative thoughts with the positive ones. You need to approach problems, not as obstacles stopping you, but merely tasks that need to be completed for you to keep going.

                      If you stay positive and think like this, setbacks won’t affect you so much, people’s doubts won’t impact you and even the biggest obstacles will seem like minor problems.

                      However with the wrong mindset of doubt, you’ll be much easier to stop.

                      11. Don’t Let Discouragement Stop You from Pressing On

                        From Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of America:

                        “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”

                        It is an unfortunate fact of human nature — all of us in some way, doubt ourselves. This can be made far worse if others doubt us too.

                        When surrounded by doubts, giving up can actually seem like a good idea.

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                        Don’t pay attention to the doubts. If you are discouraged, ignore it.

                        If this discouragement moves into your mind and you begin to doubt yourself. It is important to ignore this too.

                        This is How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck and How to Overcome It

                        12. Be Willing to Work Hard

                          From JC Penny, Founder of JC Penney Inc.:

                          “Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.”

                          You might have heard the quote that “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration” or you may have heard about the 10,000 hours idea.

                          Whichever way you frame it, they say one thing:

                          True success comes from work.

                          You’ll never become successful if you don’t work towards your goal in life and keep working towards it.

                          Check out this article and you’ll understand Why Hard Work Beats Talent.

                          13. Be Brave Enough to Follow Your Intuition

                            From Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple Inc.:

                            “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

                            In ancient Greece, there was a group of Oracles who lived in Delphi. Everyone who needed advice or to know their future visited them, from the poorest of society to kings. Above the doorway of the temple were the words “know thyself”.

                            If you strongly believe and desire something, chances are that you already have an idea how to get there. If not, you may naturally know what things will help you and what things will slow you down.

                            It’s like how your body can detect danger even when things seem safe.

                            Ultimately then, you need to trust your own instincts.

                            Final Thoughts

                            What you might have noticed is that many of the above lessons are similar — most are about developing the right state of mind. This clearly suggests that the key to achieving success, in whatever you wish, comes down to the way you approach it mentally.

                            Moreover, no matter what stage of life you’re at now, you can still make a difference and pursue success. You can make resetting your life possible when you do this: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

                            More to Help You Succeed in Life

                            Featured photo credit: Ryan Wong via unsplash.com

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