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Is Blind Dating A Good Option?

Is Blind Dating A Good Option?

We all want to meet that special someone; we usually try to do that at work, bars and cafes, but in the end, in many cases, the people we meet are not worthy of our attention. Even though we are spending so much time online, whether we’re working, doing some shopping or browsing through those matchmaking websites, we are still not so lucky to find a person with whom we can have a proper date with. So, where does that leave us? Do we become desperate enough to go for blind dating? Do we let our friends and family introduce us to someone they believe would be a good match for us?

Is a blind dating a good option? Let’s find out. People have different opinions whether blind dating is a good idea or not, and to go with that, different experiences. Some of them have found the love of their lives and some of them wished they had never gone out on that disastrous date. Blind dating has its pros and cons, and if you decide to try it out, there are certain things you need to avoid when you actually go out with someone you have never met before in your life.

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Why Can A Blind Date Be A Good Option?

I know that bling dating can be a little nerve-wracking, but in many cases, people who went on blind dates actually ended up in long-term relationships, so it cannot be all that bad, right? Based on other people’s experiences there are times when a blind date can actually be a good thing, for example, if you are extremely busy and don’t really have the time to go out and look for that special someone, it would be easier if someone would just set you up.

This way, you will meet people who are not already in your life, but have similar interests, because so many people you know either from work, or family and friends, can set you up, the possibilities can be endless. You know what they say, sometimes other people know us better than we know ourselves.

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Believe it or not, you might even have a lot of fun when on a blind date, and even if this person you are going to meet isn’t exactly a good match for you, you can still have a good time and perhaps make a new friend. Why not? One of the best things that can happen when on a blind date is scoring a free meal. Imagine the possibilities, meeting a soulmate and free food – that sounds perfect to me.

Believe it or not, you can find out a lot about their personality depending on what food they order. Having in mind all of this and knowing that blind dating isn’t exactly the same as you see it in the movies, one more thing you need to know is that no harm will be done if you don’t click with the person you were on the date with. So no awkward situations – yay!

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Why Can A Blind Date Be A Bad Idea?

Although good things can happen on a blind date, have in mind that not everything can work out well in the end. So, it is no surprise that many people share the opinion that a blind date can be a disaster and recommend that you completely avoid it if that is possible. It is not excluded that you will lose several hours of your life which you will want back, and with someone who wasn’t inspiring at all, had some really bad jokes and was not very pleasant. You might get the feeling that your friends don’t really know you that well, since they are the ones who have set you up.

So, always look for those warning signs, if the people who are setting you up are saying that the person you are going to meet is great, funny, cute and so on, you cannot help but wonder what is wrong with them, since they are agreeing to go on a blind date.

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Although you have the option of not calling that person ever again, you may end up with a needy and clingy individual who might insist on seeing you again and be a little annoying in their wish, so be careful, polite, but in the same time firm when letting them know that you are not interested, so that you don’t end up with a person who can be a little psycho. But don’t worry, the chances of that happening are really small, maybe one in a million.

What To Avoid On Blind Dates

If you are brave enough to try blind dating, good for you. Now that you are backed up with the possible scenarios, and know what might come your way when meeting people in this manner, the only thing left to do is learn some guidelines to help your date run smooth. The first smart thing is avoiding doing anything dangerous on your blind date, so stay away from animals, roller skates, mountain climbing and similar activities. After all, you don’t know this person and you surely wouldn’t want to end up going home with a paramedic.

I don’t think that this should be even said, but I will say it anyway – don’t do anything that will make you sweat. This just isn’t the right time to present to your date with stains on your shirt, you will make an impression, but not a really good one. Do your best to be as representable as you can be. So, hide your flaws – not everything needs to come out on your first date – wait for the right time to tell them those little annoying things you do.

So, whether a blind date will be a good option or not, it depends entirely on you. Make sure that the one who sets you up really know you, so that you can eliminate the possibility of going out with a psycho. Be totally relaxed regardless of whether the date turns out great or a complete disaster. Have fun and maybe you will meet the love of your life or just make a new friend in this process. Who knows? You always have the option of not calling that person again so why not? In the end, you don’t have too much to lose and at least you tried.

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Ivan Dimitrijevic

Ivan is the CEO and founder of a digital marketing company. He has years of experiences in team management, entrepreneurship and productivity.

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Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

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Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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