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Is Blind Dating A Good Option?

Is Blind Dating A Good Option?

We all want to meet that special someone; we usually try to do that at work, bars and cafes, but in the end, in many cases, the people we meet are not worthy of our attention. Even though we are spending so much time online, whether we’re working, doing some shopping or browsing through those matchmaking websites, we are still not so lucky to find a person with whom we can have a proper date with. So, where does that leave us? Do we become desperate enough to go for blind dating? Do we let our friends and family introduce us to someone they believe would be a good match for us?

Is a blind dating a good option? Let’s find out. People have different opinions whether blind dating is a good idea or not, and to go with that, different experiences. Some of them have found the love of their lives and some of them wished they had never gone out on that disastrous date. Blind dating has its pros and cons, and if you decide to try it out, there are certain things you need to avoid when you actually go out with someone you have never met before in your life.

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Why Can A Blind Date Be A Good Option?

I know that bling dating can be a little nerve-wracking, but in many cases, people who went on blind dates actually ended up in long-term relationships, so it cannot be all that bad, right? Based on other people’s experiences there are times when a blind date can actually be a good thing, for example, if you are extremely busy and don’t really have the time to go out and look for that special someone, it would be easier if someone would just set you up.

This way, you will meet people who are not already in your life, but have similar interests, because so many people you know either from work, or family and friends, can set you up, the possibilities can be endless. You know what they say, sometimes other people know us better than we know ourselves.

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Believe it or not, you might even have a lot of fun when on a blind date, and even if this person you are going to meet isn’t exactly a good match for you, you can still have a good time and perhaps make a new friend. Why not? One of the best things that can happen when on a blind date is scoring a free meal. Imagine the possibilities, meeting a soulmate and free food – that sounds perfect to me.

Believe it or not, you can find out a lot about their personality depending on what food they order. Having in mind all of this and knowing that blind dating isn’t exactly the same as you see it in the movies, one more thing you need to know is that no harm will be done if you don’t click with the person you were on the date with. So no awkward situations – yay!

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Why Can A Blind Date Be A Bad Idea?

Although good things can happen on a blind date, have in mind that not everything can work out well in the end. So, it is no surprise that many people share the opinion that a blind date can be a disaster and recommend that you completely avoid it if that is possible. It is not excluded that you will lose several hours of your life which you will want back, and with someone who wasn’t inspiring at all, had some really bad jokes and was not very pleasant. You might get the feeling that your friends don’t really know you that well, since they are the ones who have set you up.

So, always look for those warning signs, if the people who are setting you up are saying that the person you are going to meet is great, funny, cute and so on, you cannot help but wonder what is wrong with them, since they are agreeing to go on a blind date.

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Although you have the option of not calling that person ever again, you may end up with a needy and clingy individual who might insist on seeing you again and be a little annoying in their wish, so be careful, polite, but in the same time firm when letting them know that you are not interested, so that you don’t end up with a person who can be a little psycho. But don’t worry, the chances of that happening are really small, maybe one in a million.

What To Avoid On Blind Dates

If you are brave enough to try blind dating, good for you. Now that you are backed up with the possible scenarios, and know what might come your way when meeting people in this manner, the only thing left to do is learn some guidelines to help your date run smooth. The first smart thing is avoiding doing anything dangerous on your blind date, so stay away from animals, roller skates, mountain climbing and similar activities. After all, you don’t know this person and you surely wouldn’t want to end up going home with a paramedic.

I don’t think that this should be even said, but I will say it anyway – don’t do anything that will make you sweat. This just isn’t the right time to present to your date with stains on your shirt, you will make an impression, but not a really good one. Do your best to be as representable as you can be. So, hide your flaws – not everything needs to come out on your first date – wait for the right time to tell them those little annoying things you do.

So, whether a blind date will be a good option or not, it depends entirely on you. Make sure that the one who sets you up really know you, so that you can eliminate the possibility of going out with a psycho. Be totally relaxed regardless of whether the date turns out great or a complete disaster. Have fun and maybe you will meet the love of your life or just make a new friend in this process. Who knows? You always have the option of not calling that person again so why not? In the end, you don’t have too much to lose and at least you tried.

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Ivan Dimitrijevic

Ivan is the CEO and founder of a digital marketing company. He has years of experiences in team management, entrepreneurship and productivity.

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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