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8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future

8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future

Are you confused about the direction of your relationship? Relationships are often happy at the beginning, but over time they can become negative without you realizing. All relationships require effort and hard work, and without these things you may notice that you feel unhappy and under-appreciated.

Check out 8 telltale signs that your relationship may not last.

1. Your partner can’t accept you for who you are

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    Everyone has positive and negative traits, and a good partner will accept all of your flaws. Your partner doesn’t have to enjoy watching The Real Housewives with you, but they should accept that you enjoy it and leave you to it without judgment. If your partner doesn’t like more important things like the way you dress or your career, it is time for you to leave. Being unable to accept one another for who you are is one of the biggest indicators that the relationship won’t work out.

    2. You can’t accept your partner for who they are

    Accepting each other works both ways. If your partner loves you for who you are then you should be able to offer the same to your partner. Ask yourself this; if there are things your partner does that you hate or cannot come to terms with, why are you with them?

    3. You struggle to handle each other during the hard times

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      Relationships come with intimacy, happiness and laughter, but they also come with stress, bad moods and hardship. Of course you will love your partner when they are happy and relaxed, but do you feel the same way about them when they are irritated? In a relationship you should support each other during hard times, not push each other away.

      4. Your needs are not being met by your partner

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        Your partner cannot do everything for you; for instance, it is demanding and clingy to insist they talk to you every hour of the day. However it is important that they can meet your needs in the relationship department. They should be able to cheer you up after a tough day, and they should be able to provide you with love and support. If they can’t give you these things the relationship will deteriorate.

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        5. You are not at the same place mentally

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          If you are ready to get married and settle down and your partner wants to travel alone for a few years, you may start to encounter problems. If you realize your relationship is becoming serious, it is useful to sit down and talk about both of your plans for the future. It isn’t anyone’s fault if you have different interests, but you both deserve to know if you’re not in the same boat.

          6. You put work into the relationship but your partner does not

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            Relationships are what you put into them. Both partners need to give and take, and sometimes one partner may give more or take more. This can cause a problem as you should both be putting an equal amount of effort into the relationship. If one of you doesn’t care enough to meet the other halfway, it could be a sign that the relationship has become unhealthy and negative.

            7. You struggle to trust each other

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              Both you and your partner should trust each other implicitly. If your partner has given you a reason to distrust them, you can either forgive them and try toe and Facebook Messages forge a future or move on. The worst decision you can make is choosing to stay when you don’t trust them. If you find yourself checking your partner’s phone when they leave the room, breaking up and moving on may be the best option for both of you.

              8. You don’t see long-term potential

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                A relationship requires a lot of time and effort, so it is important to make sure you are putting in work for something that could actually last. You don’t have to want to marry your partner, but you should be able to envision a happy future together. If you don’t see a future together at all it may be time for you to move on.

                photo credit: Pinterest

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                Amy Johnson

                Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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                Last Updated on September 18, 2020

                13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

                13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

                For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

                “We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

                “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

                Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

                You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

                Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

                1. Take a step back and evaluate

                When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

                1. What is the problem?
                2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
                3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
                4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
                5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

                Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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                2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

                If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

                At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

                Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

                3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

                Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

                4. Process your thoughts/emotions

                Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

                1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
                2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
                3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
                4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

                5. Acknowledge your thoughts

                Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

                By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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                Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

                6. Give yourself a break

                If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

                7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

                A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

                Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

                After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

                8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

                As Helen Keller once said,

                “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

                Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

                9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

                In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

                1. What’s the situation?
                2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
                3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
                4. Take action on your next steps!

                After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

                10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

                A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

                Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

                For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

                11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

                No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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                12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

                No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

                13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

                There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

                After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

                Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

                Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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