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8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future

8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future

Are you confused about the direction of your relationship? Relationships are often happy at the beginning, but over time they can become negative without you realizing. All relationships require effort and hard work, and without these things you may notice that you feel unhappy and under-appreciated.

Check out 8 telltale signs that your relationship may not last.

1. Your partner can’t accept you for who you are

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    Everyone has positive and negative traits, and a good partner will accept all of your flaws. Your partner doesn’t have to enjoy watching The Real Housewives with you, but they should accept that you enjoy it and leave you to it without judgment. If your partner doesn’t like more important things like the way you dress or your career, it is time for you to leave. Being unable to accept one another for who you are is one of the biggest indicators that the relationship won’t work out.

    2. You can’t accept your partner for who they are

    Accepting each other works both ways. If your partner loves you for who you are then you should be able to offer the same to your partner. Ask yourself this; if there are things your partner does that you hate or cannot come to terms with, why are you with them?

    3. You struggle to handle each other during the hard times

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      Relationships come with intimacy, happiness and laughter, but they also come with stress, bad moods and hardship. Of course you will love your partner when they are happy and relaxed, but do you feel the same way about them when they are irritated? In a relationship you should support each other during hard times, not push each other away.

      4. Your needs are not being met by your partner

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        Your partner cannot do everything for you; for instance, it is demanding and clingy to insist they talk to you every hour of the day. However it is important that they can meet your needs in the relationship department. They should be able to cheer you up after a tough day, and they should be able to provide you with love and support. If they can’t give you these things the relationship will deteriorate.

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        5. You are not at the same place mentally

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          If you are ready to get married and settle down and your partner wants to travel alone for a few years, you may start to encounter problems. If you realize your relationship is becoming serious, it is useful to sit down and talk about both of your plans for the future. It isn’t anyone’s fault if you have different interests, but you both deserve to know if you’re not in the same boat.

          6. You put work into the relationship but your partner does not

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            Relationships are what you put into them. Both partners need to give and take, and sometimes one partner may give more or take more. This can cause a problem as you should both be putting an equal amount of effort into the relationship. If one of you doesn’t care enough to meet the other halfway, it could be a sign that the relationship has become unhealthy and negative.

            7. You struggle to trust each other

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              Both you and your partner should trust each other implicitly. If your partner has given you a reason to distrust them, you can either forgive them and try toe and Facebook Messages forge a future or move on. The worst decision you can make is choosing to stay when you don’t trust them. If you find yourself checking your partner’s phone when they leave the room, breaking up and moving on may be the best option for both of you.

              8. You don’t see long-term potential

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                A relationship requires a lot of time and effort, so it is important to make sure you are putting in work for something that could actually last. You don’t have to want to marry your partner, but you should be able to envision a happy future together. If you don’t see a future together at all it may be time for you to move on.

                photo credit: Pinterest

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                Amy Johnson

                Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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                1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

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                Last Updated on May 21, 2019

                How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

                If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

                Example 1

                You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

                You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

                In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

                Example 2

                You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

                People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

                You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

                Example 3

                You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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                The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

                Example 4

                You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

                Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

                If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

                Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

                • Understand your own communication style
                • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
                • Communicate with precision and care
                • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

                1. Understand Your Communication Style

                To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

                In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

                Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

                2. Learn Others Communication Styles

                Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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                If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

                “How do you prefer to receive information?”

                This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

                To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

                3. Exercise Precision and Care

                A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

                On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

                Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

                I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

                I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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                In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

                The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

                Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

                4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

                Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

                In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

                “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

                Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

                Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

                It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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                It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

                It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

                Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

                Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

                The Bottom Line

                When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

                I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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                Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

                Reference

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