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8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future

8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future

Are you confused about the direction of your relationship? Relationships are often happy at the beginning, but over time they can become negative without you realizing. All relationships require effort and hard work, and without these things you may notice that you feel unhappy and under-appreciated.

Check out 8 telltale signs that your relationship may not last.

1. Your partner can’t accept you for who you are

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    Everyone has positive and negative traits, and a good partner will accept all of your flaws. Your partner doesn’t have to enjoy watching The Real Housewives with you, but they should accept that you enjoy it and leave you to it without judgment. If your partner doesn’t like more important things like the way you dress or your career, it is time for you to leave. Being unable to accept one another for who you are is one of the biggest indicators that the relationship won’t work out.

    2. You can’t accept your partner for who they are

    Accepting each other works both ways. If your partner loves you for who you are then you should be able to offer the same to your partner. Ask yourself this; if there are things your partner does that you hate or cannot come to terms with, why are you with them?

    3. You struggle to handle each other during the hard times

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      Relationships come with intimacy, happiness and laughter, but they also come with stress, bad moods and hardship. Of course you will love your partner when they are happy and relaxed, but do you feel the same way about them when they are irritated? In a relationship you should support each other during hard times, not push each other away.

      4. Your needs are not being met by your partner

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        Your partner cannot do everything for you; for instance, it is demanding and clingy to insist they talk to you every hour of the day. However it is important that they can meet your needs in the relationship department. They should be able to cheer you up after a tough day, and they should be able to provide you with love and support. If they can’t give you these things the relationship will deteriorate.

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        5. You are not at the same place mentally

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          If you are ready to get married and settle down and your partner wants to travel alone for a few years, you may start to encounter problems. If you realize your relationship is becoming serious, it is useful to sit down and talk about both of your plans for the future. It isn’t anyone’s fault if you have different interests, but you both deserve to know if you’re not in the same boat.

          6. You put work into the relationship but your partner does not

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            Relationships are what you put into them. Both partners need to give and take, and sometimes one partner may give more or take more. This can cause a problem as you should both be putting an equal amount of effort into the relationship. If one of you doesn’t care enough to meet the other halfway, it could be a sign that the relationship has become unhealthy and negative.

            7. You struggle to trust each other

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              Both you and your partner should trust each other implicitly. If your partner has given you a reason to distrust them, you can either forgive them and try toe and Facebook Messages forge a future or move on. The worst decision you can make is choosing to stay when you don’t trust them. If you find yourself checking your partner’s phone when they leave the room, breaking up and moving on may be the best option for both of you.

              8. You don’t see long-term potential

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                A relationship requires a lot of time and effort, so it is important to make sure you are putting in work for something that could actually last. You don’t have to want to marry your partner, but you should be able to envision a happy future together. If you don’t see a future together at all it may be time for you to move on.

                photo credit: Pinterest

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                Amy Johnson

                Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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                Last Updated on July 8, 2020

                How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

                How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

                Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

                For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

                But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

                It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

                The Importance of Saying No

                When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

                In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

                Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

                Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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                Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

                “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

                When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

                How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

                It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

                From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

                We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

                And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

                The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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                How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

                Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

                The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

                1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

                Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

                2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

                Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

                3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

                When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

                6 Ways to Start Saying No

                Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

                1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

                One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

                Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

                2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

                Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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                Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

                3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

                Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

                Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

                4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

                Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

                Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

                5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

                When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

                Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

                A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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                6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

                If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

                Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

                Final Thoughts

                Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

                Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

                Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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                Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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