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15 Struggles Only Victims Of School Bullies Can Understand

15 Struggles Only Victims Of School Bullies Can Understand

School bullying is, without doubt, one of the most destructive experiences a child could have. Not knowing from moment to moment whether you are going to be victim of yet another prank, rumor, or violent outburst is soul destroying.

Only the victims themselves know the true effects of these attacks, and that is why I can give you this account so freely.

I was bullied at twelve years of age for the best part of a year. I remember it like it was yesterday. It had a devastating affect on my life, but it didn’t beat me.

Let’s take a closer look at the lives of the victims and how they struggle as a result of this cruelty.

1. They Feel Violated

Bullying comes in many different forms, but even the mildest offense can cause the victim to feel violated. When a group of kids turn on you and start calling you names, it feels like you have lost control of the world you had created for — a world that was happy up until that point.

2. They Feel Alone

Victims don’t want to make a report to anyone when they are bullied — particularly when they are kids. It’s just not the cool thing to do, and they fear it will make the bullying worse. It can be hard making your way home from school every day with a heavy heart, knowing you have to face those pesky bullies again tomorrow and the next day. You start to wonder if it will ever end.

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3. They Feel Afraid

Some bullies are ruthless and will go to great lengths to make sure their victim is left shaken after every incident.

4. They Feel Angry

Victims want to scream “STOP.” They want to fight back but they’re paralyzed. They want to vent their anger and shout about this injustice, but they have nowhere to turn.

They’re angry with the bullies and they’re angry with the people who should be helping— their help is not enough to stop it.

The victim will struggle with schoolwork because they have had a lot of their books destroyed by the bullies and because they are too emotional to concentrate.

If you were locked in a cabinet for the entire recess, you would struggle with your school work, too. The victim is further ridiculed by the teacher and parents for their poor performance in school.

6. They Feel Depressed

Kids who are bullied on an ongoing basis will eventually become depressed. That kind of pressure wears down the victim, who eventually experiences chronic low mood. They are sad both at school and at home. Life becomes unbearable. School bullying has the potential to cause serious anxiety and depression in young people, despite the best efforts of our schools to control it.

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7. They Feel Desperate

If the bullies won’t stop and the kid doesn’t make any effort to report these incidents, this can go unnoticed for a very long time. Some kids are bullied for years on end.

The victim becomes desperate and can’t see an end to this terrible nightmare. Many contemplate suicide, some attempt it, and, sadly, some are successful.

8. They Have Bad Dreams

Kids who are bullied are not only living a nightmare all day, but they often re-live the whole ordeal in their sleep at night.

Nightmares are frightening and make matters worse for the victim when they wake to face the day ahead. The only relief is to stay away from school, and so they face further problems with their schoolwork.

9. They Want to Be Invisible

Being a victim of bullying is so overwhelming that being invisible is the best possible solution. If the bullies can’t see you, they can’t pounce on you, call you names, throw food at you, and so on.

In time, they’ll forget all about you and move on to the next poor victim.

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10. They Feel Humiliated

It’s natural to feel humiliated when you are being targeted by completely insensitive people and in such a cruel way. If you ever had a rumor spread about you — true or false, it makes little difference —, you just want to hide away and never come out.

Cyber bullying is the perfect vehicle for humiliation — it’s so easy to do and has devastating effects for the victim.

11. They Just Want To Be Normal

Victims crave normality. They just want to wake up and feel normal, happy even. They want to go to school and have a normal day, come home and have some normal time with their family.

Instead they feel on edge, depressed, fearful, tearful, and detached from their old life.

12. They Want to Be Bullies

Victims plot and scheme about what they would do to their bullies if they got the chance. Who would blame them? But, of course, this would make them bullies, so it’s not the answer.

13. They Feel Isolated

You can be in the company of loving people, but if you have a terrible secret and nobody knows, you can feel alone.

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Not only that, but those people will notice changes in you and they won’t understand. They may even dismiss you for being silly and offer little help.

When parents don’t understand these changes in their child, they feel helpless too.

14. They Feel Powerless

Usually, victims are outnumbered — bullies aren’t brave enough to take on a victim alone. There is little these kids can do when a gang approaches them — they have no way to fight back.

Every day they wish there was a way out, but the option to snitch is just not worth it. They have been threatened several times and know that there will be repercussions if they defy the bullies.

15. They Can Feel Courageous

Every now and again, things work out for the victim. Sometimes, they’ll throw a punch and surprise everyone and, what’s more, it will land right on cheek of the ring leader. A moment of glory at last — finally the victory is theirs.

Sometimes, the gang might be interrupted just before they strike — Yes! the victim wins again.

Other times, it may be just the case that the bullies took it easy on the victim for some unknown reason. Maybe they got a conscience or something. Either way, it was an easy day for a change.

There’s no doubt that victims of school bullying have a lot to contend with — many will suffer from low self esteem and may even grow up with more serious mental health problems. But, for many, the experience makes them stronger, and so they find their way past all the hurt and shame and go on to live productive and successful lives.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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