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Why You Should Always Date A Big-Hearted Person

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Why You Should Always Date A Big-Hearted Person

Dating isn’t simple. In fact, a lot of people give up on love because of all the heartbreak they’ve been through. However, this doesn’t mean you won’t be able to find the right person for you. You just need to choose someone who is actually worth all your care and attention.

When it comes to finding the right person to date, you should always go for someone with a big-heart. In this context, big-hearted means compassionate, thoughtful, kind, and patient. It’s not easy to find someone with these traits, but once you do find that person, here are the reasons why you should never let them go.

1. Their big heart can be contagious.

See their warm, friendly smile? Chances are you’ll catch the smile virus from your partner. They will emit a positive aura that will make you want to be nicer, sweeter, and more considerate to everyone around you. They bring out the best in you because of their kindness.

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2. They will always do things to make you appreciate them.

They took a two-hour drive to meet with you even though it’s a Tuesday and they have tons of work to do. You didn’t force them, but they know you need them tonight. Perhaps they even brought some ice cream and Nutella to make you smile. Oh, the little things that make your heart melt!

3. They are level-headed during arguments.

Because they are so calm and mature, it’s easier for the two of you to talk about your issues and misunderstandings. There’s no need for shouting or fist fights. They will let you talk and will also explain the other side, and you’ll end up knowing a little more about each other, which only strengthens your bond.

4. They will always make you feel special.

On special occasions, they prepare something really nice and surprising. It doesn’t have to be expensive or anything, but they will always make you feel like the most important person in the world. They might even give you a dazzling pearl necklace for your anniversary or take you on a cruise for your birthday.

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5. They will understand and support you.

They have dreams, but they know you have dreams, too. They won’t stop you from reaching for your goals and aspirations in life. They may also be the one who keeps pushing you to succeed. They know that sometimes, you will have to make big decisions that aren’t always in line with their own desires. They will understand, especially if it’s something you’ve wanted all your life, even before you met them. They will always support you and encourage you to do your best.

6. They can get along with your family.

They are respectful, humble, and they really do care about your family. Your parents approve of them and they treat your siblings like their own. They know that hurting you will hurt your family too, so they always want to make you happy. They respect your traditions and participate in family affairs.

7. They will give you time with your friends.

They go out with their own friends every now and then, so they understand the value of friendship. This is why they also don’t mind when you go out with your own friends and unwind. They know that your friends are a big part of your life, and will never do anything to compromise your relationships with them.

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8. They have a bigger capacity for commitment.

One of the biggest reasons why people are unable to commit to a longterm relationship is because they’re too afraid to be responsible for other people’s lives and emotions. A big-hearted person knows that when you give your heart, it’s not to be trampled or played with, and they will do their best to handle it with care.

9. They don’t judge.

You have some beliefs and principles that aren’t exactly the same as their own, but they don’t force their own views on you. They know where you’re coming from and don’t judge your roots or background. They are willing to set aside your differences to have a peaceful relationship.

10. They will accept and love you for who you are.

Yes, you have a lot of imperfections. And yes, you have a lot of insecurities. But, a big-hearted person won’t care about those. So what if your hair isn’t straight and flowing like the models on TV? And maybe your waist isn’t as small as it used to be. You may feel like you’re not attractive anymore, but they will always show you how amazing you really are.

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When you find that big-hearted person who will really show you the meaning of love, don’t ever let them go. Show them your appreciation and do your best to reciprocate their care and kindness. That way, you will both be happy and satisfied with your relationship.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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