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Why You Should Always Date A Big-Hearted Person

Why You Should Always Date A Big-Hearted Person

Dating isn’t simple. In fact, a lot of people give up on love because of all the heartbreak they’ve been through. However, this doesn’t mean you won’t be able to find the right person for you. You just need to choose someone who is actually worth all your care and attention.

When it comes to finding the right person to date, you should always go for someone with a big-heart. In this context, big-hearted means compassionate, thoughtful, kind, and patient. It’s not easy to find someone with these traits, but once you do find that person, here are the reasons why you should never let them go.

1. Their big heart can be contagious.

See their warm, friendly smile? Chances are you’ll catch the smile virus from your partner. They will emit a positive aura that will make you want to be nicer, sweeter, and more considerate to everyone around you. They bring out the best in you because of their kindness.

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2. They will always do things to make you appreciate them.

They took a two-hour drive to meet with you even though it’s a Tuesday and they have tons of work to do. You didn’t force them, but they know you need them tonight. Perhaps they even brought some ice cream and Nutella to make you smile. Oh, the little things that make your heart melt!

3. They are level-headed during arguments.

Because they are so calm and mature, it’s easier for the two of you to talk about your issues and misunderstandings. There’s no need for shouting or fist fights. They will let you talk and will also explain the other side, and you’ll end up knowing a little more about each other, which only strengthens your bond.

4. They will always make you feel special.

On special occasions, they prepare something really nice and surprising. It doesn’t have to be expensive or anything, but they will always make you feel like the most important person in the world. They might even give you a dazzling pearl necklace for your anniversary or take you on a cruise for your birthday.

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5. They will understand and support you.

They have dreams, but they know you have dreams, too. They won’t stop you from reaching for your goals and aspirations in life. They may also be the one who keeps pushing you to succeed. They know that sometimes, you will have to make big decisions that aren’t always in line with their own desires. They will understand, especially if it’s something you’ve wanted all your life, even before you met them. They will always support you and encourage you to do your best.

6. They can get along with your family.

They are respectful, humble, and they really do care about your family. Your parents approve of them and they treat your siblings like their own. They know that hurting you will hurt your family too, so they always want to make you happy. They respect your traditions and participate in family affairs.

7. They will give you time with your friends.

They go out with their own friends every now and then, so they understand the value of friendship. This is why they also don’t mind when you go out with your own friends and unwind. They know that your friends are a big part of your life, and will never do anything to compromise your relationships with them.

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8. They have a bigger capacity for commitment.

One of the biggest reasons why people are unable to commit to a longterm relationship is because they’re too afraid to be responsible for other people’s lives and emotions. A big-hearted person knows that when you give your heart, it’s not to be trampled or played with, and they will do their best to handle it with care.

9. They don’t judge.

You have some beliefs and principles that aren’t exactly the same as their own, but they don’t force their own views on you. They know where you’re coming from and don’t judge your roots or background. They are willing to set aside your differences to have a peaceful relationship.

10. They will accept and love you for who you are.

Yes, you have a lot of imperfections. And yes, you have a lot of insecurities. But, a big-hearted person won’t care about those. So what if your hair isn’t straight and flowing like the models on TV? And maybe your waist isn’t as small as it used to be. You may feel like you’re not attractive anymore, but they will always show you how amazing you really are.

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When you find that big-hearted person who will really show you the meaning of love, don’t ever let them go. Show them your appreciation and do your best to reciprocate their care and kindness. That way, you will both be happy and satisfied with your relationship.

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Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

More Inspiration About Motivation

Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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