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The Ultimate Bucket List For Over 30s

The Ultimate Bucket List For Over 30s

I’m about to turn 33 and if I were to die at the same age as my father, I’d have nine years left. Less than ten years to fight away regret and my what-could-have-beens. The clichés are true, being in your 30s is head and shoulders above being a 20-something. I used to seethe at the patronising tone of chilled-out 30-year-olds telling me that, but I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve become one. Being over 30 rocks, and here is my ultimate bucket list to make sure you make the very best of it.

1. Forgive those that have caused you pain.

It’s pretty rare that people set out intentionally to hurt you, but even in those cases, holding on to the anger only damages your own soul, not theirs. It’s freeing to allow yourself to let it go, we should pity those that cause pain, they’re most often the saddest people.

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2. Forgive yourself.

We hold ourselves up to the highest of standards, often forgetting that no one is perfect and mistakes and misjudgements are par for the course. Allow yourself to move forward from any errors of judgement you’ve made.

3. Say yes when you feel like saying no.

The joy of being a fully fledged grown up is that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but sometimes, forcing yourself to say yes opens you up to new and awesome experiences.If you’re invited to an event and you’d rather stay at home with a microwave pizza, consider saying yes, just this once.

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4. Say no when you’d automatically say yes.

Now you’re in your 30s you’re allowed to cut negative and draining people from your life. If you’re still meeting up with friends who don’t make you feel great, cut those ties and say “no thank you.” Life is too short to waste it on people who don’t make you swell with joy.

5. Learn to accept your complete self without needing to change it.

You’ve probably got a good understanding of your authentic self by now, and there will be parts that you love and parts that you like a lot less. That’s what makes us humans, and self-awareness allows you to focus on your positives and side step away from any features that are less so.

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6. Learn the steps you can take to improve yourself.

It is completely possibly to accept yourself fully but still want to make changes. Maturity allows us to appreciate the difference between what we can change and what we cannot. We can work on being more kind or better educated, but we can’t stretch our legs to gain 3 inches.

7. Have more sex.

Generally, the sex you’ll have had in your 20s won’t compare to the sex you’ll be having in your 30s. You’ve both had more practice, and you have realised that any body type can be sexy. Now’s the time to leave aside your body fears and hang-ups. Sex should be fun, consensual, and awesome for everyone.

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8. Have less bad sex.

When I remember the sex I had in my early 20s I wish I could go and tell myself it would get better, that this isn’t how good it gets. Now we’re older, we can get more bold. Know what you want and go get it. You deserve it.

9. Own less.

By the time we hit our 30s, we’ve acquired a lot of stuff. Most stuff we don’t use regularly, if at all, and most of it doesn’t spark joy. Owning less stuff makes keeping a tidy house much easier, and frankly life is too interesting to spend it cleaning.

10. Do more.

Sadness isn’t the opposite of happiness, boredom is. You’re too old and wise to waste your life watching 4 hours of television each evening. Focus on excitement and action and you’ll be a much happier person, with the added bonus of being more interesting at dinner parties.

Featured photo credit: sunset-m-030/Alagich Katya via albumarium.com

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The Ultimate Bucket List For Over 30s

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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