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The Ultimate Bucket List For Over 30s

The Ultimate Bucket List For Over 30s

I’m about to turn 33 and if I were to die at the same age as my father, I’d have nine years left. Less than ten years to fight away regret and my what-could-have-beens. The clichés are true, being in your 30s is head and shoulders above being a 20-something. I used to seethe at the patronising tone of chilled-out 30-year-olds telling me that, but I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve become one. Being over 30 rocks, and here is my ultimate bucket list to make sure you make the very best of it.

1. Forgive those that have caused you pain.

It’s pretty rare that people set out intentionally to hurt you, but even in those cases, holding on to the anger only damages your own soul, not theirs. It’s freeing to allow yourself to let it go, we should pity those that cause pain, they’re most often the saddest people.

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2. Forgive yourself.

We hold ourselves up to the highest of standards, often forgetting that no one is perfect and mistakes and misjudgements are par for the course. Allow yourself to move forward from any errors of judgement you’ve made.

3. Say yes when you feel like saying no.

The joy of being a fully fledged grown up is that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but sometimes, forcing yourself to say yes opens you up to new and awesome experiences.If you’re invited to an event and you’d rather stay at home with a microwave pizza, consider saying yes, just this once.

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4. Say no when you’d automatically say yes.

Now you’re in your 30s you’re allowed to cut negative and draining people from your life. If you’re still meeting up with friends who don’t make you feel great, cut those ties and say “no thank you.” Life is too short to waste it on people who don’t make you swell with joy.

5. Learn to accept your complete self without needing to change it.

You’ve probably got a good understanding of your authentic self by now, and there will be parts that you love and parts that you like a lot less. That’s what makes us humans, and self-awareness allows you to focus on your positives and side step away from any features that are less so.

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6. Learn the steps you can take to improve yourself.

It is completely possibly to accept yourself fully but still want to make changes. Maturity allows us to appreciate the difference between what we can change and what we cannot. We can work on being more kind or better educated, but we can’t stretch our legs to gain 3 inches.

7. Have more sex.

Generally, the sex you’ll have had in your 20s won’t compare to the sex you’ll be having in your 30s. You’ve both had more practice, and you have realised that any body type can be sexy. Now’s the time to leave aside your body fears and hang-ups. Sex should be fun, consensual, and awesome for everyone.

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8. Have less bad sex.

When I remember the sex I had in my early 20s I wish I could go and tell myself it would get better, that this isn’t how good it gets. Now we’re older, we can get more bold. Know what you want and go get it. You deserve it.

9. Own less.

By the time we hit our 30s, we’ve acquired a lot of stuff. Most stuff we don’t use regularly, if at all, and most of it doesn’t spark joy. Owning less stuff makes keeping a tidy house much easier, and frankly life is too interesting to spend it cleaning.

10. Do more.

Sadness isn’t the opposite of happiness, boredom is. You’re too old and wise to waste your life watching 4 hours of television each evening. Focus on excitement and action and you’ll be a much happier person, with the added bonus of being more interesting at dinner parties.

Featured photo credit: sunset-m-030/Alagich Katya via albumarium.com

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The Ultimate Bucket List For Over 30s

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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