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It’s Never Easy to Be Retail Staff. Here’s Why

It’s Never Easy to Be Retail Staff. Here’s Why

At some point, many of us have worked (or still work) as retail staff. It’s a job like any other but with a lot of oddly specific challenges. Whether you work in a corner store, Starbucks, Tesco or an indie label music shop, dealing with the customers can be one of the most delightful and infuriating things you have ever experienced in life.

If you have ever stocked a shelf or manned a till, you can absolutely relate to the points mentioned below!

1. We can’t change the price for you.

We are mere employees. It’s the retail company or the manufacturer who sets the price. No matter how nice, flirty or angry your demands become we cannot quote you a new price out of the blue! But we can give you the head office’s number and you can try your luck in persuading somebody there.

2. We often have terrible schedules.

Have you ever heard of the “Clopening“? Well that’s a dreadful practice of having a closing shift and getting back to work the next morning (most often without being at home for more than 7 hours).  Most of us inevitably get those at least once a month, or once a week in the worst-case scenario. Sure, the rumors say it soon may become a thing of the past, but for now, we never really get a full weekend. And on those rare occasions we do, we try to get the max out of it and end up being even more exhausted.

All in all, we work 40+ hours per week, often put work over social life and are damned proud of what we do. Being a retail worker is a real job. Don’t ever tell us the opposite!

3. We don’t like telling you that your card was declined.

Yes, we often feel as awkward and embarrassed as you are and make that  “strange face” not to mock you, but to hide our feelings.

4. We know about your complaints to other workers.

Don’t you ever try to rat us out to other retail staff! It’s a game you are likely to lose. Think for a second, why would anyone throw friends under the bus for some demanding (and often rude) stranger? In fact, working in retail has taught me to be more patient, kind and tolerant towards your co-workers, as you often work with a very diverse group of people. Even that annoying girl who can’t stop complaining about the lack of love life can save your back on another day!

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5. We don’t know every single item in the store by heart.

If you approach us with something like: “Can you quote me a price of that silver fancy couch I’ve seen in your other store the other day?”, we probably won’t be able to help. Save everyone’s time and frustration by penning down the product code, brand or some less vague characteristics.

Can you imagine what it’s like to get through thousands of products that change monthly if you work in a big store?

6. We hate when you come five minutes before closing.

Yes, you’ve got a job with fixed working hours. But so do we! We want to help, but we anticipate you staying for over an hour after the closing time, meaning our seven hours of rest will turn into five.

7. We are okay with refunds, but it does not always mean you will get one.

No, it’s not that we don’t feel like giving you back the money or filling in return papers. It’s just that there are certain goods that cannot be returned according to numerous policies, e.g. undergarments (esp. worn!), gift cards, products that have obviously been in heavy use or those returned after the return policy warranty.

Spare everyone from making a scene before you have carefully read the return/refund policy. It’s always clearly outlined.

8. We are used to most of your usual “threats”.

Including: “I’ll shop somewhere else” (Okay. Good day!); “Let me speak to the manager!” (I wanted to speak to him for 3 days about my holiday too); “I will never come back” (but most probably you will). Being rude and aggressive will get you nowhere, really.

9. We hate add on sales, too.

But our job is to smile and offer you something totally irrelevant — like a nearly expired Aero bar — and explain what an amazing deal it is.

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10. We have certain issues when it comes to making a payment.

The worst-case scenarios include getting a mountain of change. Coins are money too, we get it. But it’s absolutely frustrating counting all of those when there are ten more impatient folks in line! “Can I pay part card/part cash?” is the most dreadful question in the world — especially when your sum is $15. Why do you need to make things so complicated for everyone?

And last, but not least — swiping your card or entering your pin code too early or too late, resulting in one huge mess at the payment stage.

11. We wish you would just ask us for a size.

Do you realize it takes just two seconds for us to bring you the right size? In contrast, it takes a good half an hour to refold all the sweaters in the pile you have just dug through. Don’t forget that it’s our job to clean up your mess and make sure the store looks nice at all times.

Make our lives easier by voicing out your request to dig through the piles for you.

12. We perfectly know the consumer law.

Probably, much better than you do — as not having certain items in stock is not a breach. Neither is refusing to issue you a refund without a receipt. Before showing off your great legal knowledge, make sure you know what you are talking about.

13. We don’t like unsupervised children.

It’s not that we don’t like kids in general. Most of us love them! It’s just that your little fellow left out with no attention potentially means a huge mess. You see, all major accidents at the shop usually involve a child, with their parents just two steps ahead glued to their phones or paying zero attention to what their child is up to.

Please, keep an eye on your child and hold their hand or do something to keep everyone out of harm’s way.

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14. We notice when you ruin an item with your makeup.

Please, be careful about getting your makeup on the garments. And if it happens, don’t try to score a discount because you’ve been careless. Secretly putting back an item and taking a clean one instead to purchase will not come unnoticed as well. Instead ask us about any tips of removing makeup. We now know plenty!

15. We can’t be in control of everything.

We are not in control of stock, but we can give you the head office number if you still want to inquire. Also, we can’t just give you something from the floor stock or an item the other customer has a hold on. Same goes with catalogues — we can’t guarantee the product will still be there when you come to shop for it.

It’s our job to sell you things, so we are not trying to fool you by saying the item is not available right now.

16. We do not size the products.

And no, we don’t know why size four is so tight. It’s okay to go up a size. Please, do not try to squeeze into a smaller one no matter what. We are being nice, not judgmental, when we offer our assistance in finding the right fit.

17. We hate when people leave things where they don’t belong.

Are you happy when somebody messes up your work desk? Exactly, we aren’t either! It takes just a few seconds to hand over an item you have no intention to buy, rather than place it somewhere random in the store. Don’t forget it’s our job to make the shop look neat and keep all things in order.

18. We try very hard to cater everyone, but…

We are not super humans. We cannot attend to everyone at once. If we did not approach you immediately, it doesn’t mean we are avoiding you or not doing our job properly. Most likely we are already dealing with other customers.

Please, keep patience and we’ll come back to you in just a few minutes.

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19. We have to greet everyone.

Yes, our smiles may seem somewhat fake as it’s part of our job. And saying hundreds of “hellos” a day is somewhat annoying. But please, don’t smirk at us and pretend you didn’t hear. That makes things even worse.

20. We are not therapists.

Yes, we can help you with a lot of things and give some advice…but only when it comes to the products we sell. We can’t listen to your personal problems for half an hour, especially when the conversation happens during peak hours or at the checkout.

21. We tell you our name for a reason.

Please, don’t forget it as it often results into such a great thing as “commissions” that help us pay the monthly bills.  Don’t make us regret helping you so zealously.

22. We dream of a normal life sometimes.

With a fixed nine to five schedule, usual weekends, breaks lasting over 30 min a day and less rude people to deal with on a daily basis. We want to be able to hang out with our friends in the evenings and spend more time with the children. We leave the house at six a.m. to return at midday, absolutely exhausted and able to do nothing except for roll right into bed.

23. We are humans too!

We try our best to be nice, helpful and cater for you in a timely manner. Please, be respectful and polite to us too! At the end of the day we are doing a job just like you do.

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

How to Control Your Thoughts and Be the Master of Your Mind

How to Control Your Thoughts and Be the Master of Your Mind

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have for the creation of good in your life, but if not used correctly, can also be the most destructive force in your life. To control your thoughts means to influence the way you live your life.

Your mind, more specifically, your thoughts, affects your perception and therefore, your interpretation of reality. (And here’s Why Your Perception Is Your Reality)

I have heard that the average person thinks around 70,000 thoughts a day. That’s a lot, especially if they are unproductive, self-abusive, and just a general waste of energy.

You can let your thoughts run amok, but why would you? It is your mind, your thoughts; isn’t it time to take your power back? Isn’t it time to take control?

Choose to be the person who is actively, consciously thinking your thoughts. Be someone who can control your thoughts—become the master of your mind.

When you change your thoughts, you will change your feelings as well, and you will also eliminate the triggers that set off those feelings. Both of these outcomes provide you with a greater level of peace in your mind.

I currently have a few thoughts that are not of my choosing or a response from my reprogramming. I am the master of my mind, so now my mind is quite peaceful. Yours can be too!

Who Is Thinking My Thoughts?

Before you can become the master of your mind, you must recognize that you are currently at the mercy of several unwanted “squatters” living in your mind, and they are in control of your thoughts.

If you want to be the boss of them, you must know who they are and what their motivation is, and then you can take charge and evict them.

Here are four of the “squatters” in your head that create unhealthy and unproductive thoughts.

1. The Inner Critic

This is your constant abuser who is often a conglomeration of:

  • Other people’s words—many times your parents
  • Thoughts you have created based on your own or other peoples’ expectations
  • Comparing yourself to other people, including those in the media
  • The things you told yourself as a result of painful experiences such as betrayal and rejection. Your interpretation creates your self-doubt and self-blame, which are most likely undeserved in cases of rejection and betrayal.

The Inner Critic is motivated by pain, low self-esteem, lack of self-acceptance, and lack of self-love.

Why else would this person abuse you? And since this person is youwhy else would you abuse yourself? Why would you let anyone treat you this badly?

2. The Worrier

This person lives in the future—in the world of “what ifs.”

The Worrier is motivated by fear, which is often irrational and has no basis. Occasionally, this person is motivated by fear that what happened in the past will happen again.

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3. The Reactor or Troublemaker

This is the one that triggers anger, frustration, and pain. These triggers stem from unhealed wounds of the past. Any experience that is even closely related to a past wound will set him off.

This person can be set off by words or feelings and can even be set off by sounds and smells.

The Reactor has no real motivation and has poor impulse control. He is run by past programming that no longer serves you—if it ever did.

4. The Sleep Depriver

This can be a combination of any number of different squatters including the inner planner, the rehasher, and the ruminator, along with the inner critic and the worrier.

The Sleep Depriver’s motivation can be:

  • As a reaction to silence, which he fights against
  • Taking care of the business you neglected during the day
  • Self-doubt, low self-esteem, insecurity, and generalized anxiety
  • As listed above for the inner critic and worrier

How can you control these squatters?

How to Master Your Mind

You are the thinker and the observer of your thoughts. You can control your thoughts, but you must pay attention to them so you can identify “who” is running the show—this will determine which technique you will want to use.

Begin each day with the intention of paying attention to your thoughts and catching yourself when you are thinking undesirable thoughts.

There are two ways to control your thoughts:

  • Technique A – Interrupt and replace them
  • Technique B – Eliminate them altogether

This second option is what is known as peace of mind.

The technique of interrupting and replacing is a means of reprogramming your subconscious mind. Eventually, the replacement thoughts will become the “go-to” thoughts in applicable situations.

Use Technique A with the Inner Critic and Worrier and Technique B with the Reactor and Sleep Depriver.

1. For the Inner Critic

When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself (calling yourself names, disrespecting yourself, or berating yourself), interrupt it.

You can yell (in your mind), “Stop! No!” or, “Enough! I’m in control now.” Then, whatever your negative thought was about yourself, replace it with an opposite or counter thought or an affirmation that begins with “I am.”

For example, if your thought is, “I’m such a loser,” you can replace it with, “I am a Divine Creation of the Universal Spirit. I am a perfect spiritual being learning to master the human experience. I am a being of energy, light, and matter. I am magnificent, brilliant, and beautiful. I love and approve of myself just as I am.”

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You can also have a dialogue with yourself to discredit the ‘voice’ that created the thought—if you know whose voice it is:

“Just because so-and-so said I was a loser doesn’t make it true. It was his or her opinion, not a statement of fact. Or maybe they were joking and I took it seriously because I’m insecure.”

If you recognize that you have recurring self-critical thoughts, you can write out or pre-plan your counter thoughts or affirmation so you can be ready.

This is the first squatter you should evict, forcefully, if necessary:

  • They rile up the Worrier.
  • The names you call yourself become triggers when called those names by others, so he also maintains the presence of the Reactor.
  • They are often present when you try to fall asleep so he perpetuates the Sleep Depriver.
  • They are a bully and is verbally and emotionally abusive.
  • They are the destroyer of self-esteem. They convince you that you’re not worthy. They’re a liar! In the interest of your self-worth, get them out!

Eliminate your worst critic and you will also diminish the presence of the other three squatters.

Replace them with your new best friends who support, encourage, and enhance your life. This is a presence you want in your mind.

2. For the Worrier

Prolonged anxiety is mentally, emotionally, and physically unhealthy. It can have long-term health implications.

Fear initiates the fight or flight response, creates worry in the mind, and creates anxiety in the body. This may make it more difficult for you to control your thoughts effectively.

You should be able to recognize a “worry thought” immediately by how you feel. The physiological signs that the fight or flight response of fear has kicked in are:

  • Increased heart rate, blood pressure, or surge of adrenaline
  • Shallow breathing or breathlessness
  • Muscles tense

Use the above-stated method to interrupt any thought of worry and then replace it. But this time, you will replace your thoughts of worry with thoughts of gratitude for the outcome you wish for.

If you believe in a higher power, this is the time to engage with it. Here is an example:

Instead of worrying about my loved ones traveling in bad weather, I say the following (I call it a prayer):

“Thank you great spirit for watching over _______. Thank you for watching over his/her car and keeping it safe, road-worthy, and free of maintenance issues without warning. Thank you for surrounding him/her with only safe, conscientious, and alert drivers. And thank you for keeping him/her safe, conscientious, and alert.”

Smile when you think about it or say it aloud, and phrase it in the present tense. Both of these will help you feel it and possibly even start to believe it.

If you can visualize what you are praying for, the visualization will enhance the feeling so you will increase the impact in your vibrational field.

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Now, take a calming breath, slowly in through your nose, and slowly out through the mouth. Take as many as you like! Do it until you feel that you’re close to being in control of your thoughts.

Replacing fearful thoughts with gratitude will decrease reactionary behavior, taking the steam out of the Reactor.

For example: If your child gets lost in the mall, the typical parental reaction that follows the fearful thoughts when finding them is to yell at them.

“I told you never to leave my sight.” This reaction just adds to the child’s fear level from being lost in the first place.

Plus, it also teaches them that mom and/or dad will get mad when he or she makes a mistake, which may make them lie to you or not tell you things in the future.

Change those fearful thoughts when they happen:

“Thank You (your choice of Higher Power) for watching over my child and keeping him safe. Thank you for helping me find him soon.”

Then, when you see your child after this thought process, your only reaction will be gratitude, and that seems like a better alternative for all people involved.

3. For the Troublemaker, Reactor or Over-Reactor

Permanently eliminating this squatter will take a bit more attention and reflection after the fact to identify and heal the causes of the triggers. But until then, you can prevent the Reactor from getting out of control by initiating conscious breathing as soon as you recognize his presence.

The Reactor’s thoughts or feelings activate the fight or flight response just like with the Worrier. The physiological signs of his presence will be the same. With a little attention, you should be able to tell the difference between anxiety, anger, frustration, or pain.

I’m sure you’ve heard the suggestion to count to ten when you get angry—well, you can make those ten seconds much more productive if you are breathing consciously during that time.

Conscious breathing is as simple as it sounds—just be conscious of your breathing. Pay attention to the air going in and coming out.

Breathe in through your nose:

  • Feel the air entering your nostrils.
  • Feel your lungs filling and expanding.
  • Focus on your belly rising.

Breathe out through your nose:

  • Feel your lungs emptying.
  • Focus on your belly falling.
  • Feel the air exiting your nostrils.

Do this for as long as you like. Leave the situation if you want. This gives the adrenaline time to normalize. Now, you can address the situation with a calmer, more rational perspective and avoid damaging behavior, and you’ll be more in control of your thoughts.

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One of the troubles this squatter causes is that it adds to the sleep depriver’s issues. By evicting or at least controlling the Reactor, you will decrease reactionary behavior, which will decrease the need for the rehashing and ruminating that may keep you from falling asleep.

Master your mind and stop the Reactor from bringing stress to you and your relationships!

4. For the Sleep Depriver

(They’re made up of the Inner Planner, the Rehasher, and the Ruminator, along with the Inner Critic and the Worrier.)

I was plagued with a very common problem: not being able to turn off my mind at bedtime. This inability prevented me from falling asleep and thus, getting a restful and restorative night’s sleep.

Here’s how I mastered my mind and evicted the Sleep Depriver and all his cronies.

  1. I started by focusing on my breathing—paying attention to the rise and fall of my belly—but that didn’t keep the thoughts out for long. (Actually, I now start with checking my at-rest mouth position to keep me from clenching.)
  2. Then I came up with a replacement strategy that eliminated uncontrolled thinking—imagining the word in while breathing in and thinking the word out when breathing out. I would (and do) elongate the word to match the length of my breath.

When I catch myself thinking, I shift back to in, out. With this technique, I am still thinking, sort of, but the wheels are no longer spinning out of control. I am in control of my mind and thoughts, and I choose quiet.

From the first time I tried this method, I started to yawn after only a few cycles and am usually asleep within ten minutes.

For really difficult nights, I add an increase of attention by holding my eyes in a looking-up position (closed, of course). Sometimes I try to look toward my third eye but that really hurts my eyes.

If you have trouble falling asleep because you can’t shut off your mind, I strongly recommend you try this technique. I still use it every night. You can start sleeping better tonight!

You can also use this technique any time you want to:

  • Fall back to sleep if you wake up too soon
  • Shut down your thinking
  • Calm your feelings
  • Simply focus on the present moment

The Bottom Line

Your mind is a tool, and like any other tool, it can be used for constructive purposes or destructive purposes.

You can allow your mind to be occupied by unwanted, undesirable, and destructive tenants, or you can choose desirable tenants like peace, gratitude, compassion, love, and joy.

Your mind can become your best friend, your biggest supporter, and someone you can count on to be there and encourage you. You can be in control of your thoughts. The choice is yours!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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