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The Harsh Truth About Why You Aren’t More Successful

The Harsh Truth About Why You Aren’t More Successful

The road to success isn’t always as easy as it sometimes appears when judging from the success stories of people living their dreams. Most successful people don’t have the luxury of getting ‘lucky’ and actually have to work hard and put a lot of effort into their goals. So what sets the goal achievers apart from the rest? The answer to this question may not be what you want to hear…

If you’re wondering why you just can’t seem to make it big, the harsh truth is that YOU may be  standing in the way of your own success! Most people want success but don’t actually do anything to make it happen. Everyone has the opportunity to be successful (we’ve all heard hundreds of rags-to-riches stories), it’s what you make of your opportunities that really matters.

Here are the top five ways in which you may be hindering your own success.

1. You don’t do what it takes

It’s one thing wanting to achieve a goal and quite another doing what it takes to achieve it. Many people start out with very real intentions of becoming more successful but don’t actually have the commitment to do what it takes. You may start strongly and then give up at the first hurdle and make up convenient excuses for either postponing or quitting the task all together.

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Successful people don’t make excuses, they stick to their word and commit themselves wholly to their tasks – if something needs to be done, it gets done. If you’re not willing to take massive action and work for your goals, how do you expect to ever achieve them?

Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. – Jeff Olson

2. You procrastinate and don’t challenge yourself

If you spend more time thinking about tasks than actually doing them, it’s time to make some changes. Instead of making things complicated, put theory into practice and bring your plans to life – you know what needs to be done, so go out there and do it!

What’s stopping you? Don’t let yourself succumb to fears of resistance, failure and challenges. It takes real strength and courage to do what we know we need to do in order to have what we want. If it’s any comfort, we often paint things out to be a lot more difficult than they actually are, but you’ll never know what you’re really capable of unless you give the task an honest try!

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Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, “Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do.”- Author Unknown.

3. You’re in self-denial

Denial is a coping strategy that allows us to maintain a preferable image of ourselves. While this may initially keep us emotionally safe from painful truths, in the end it does us no favors – it prevents us from dealing with the real issues. It takes guts to look at yourself and to honestly identify why you haven’t been able to get the results that you want.

Having a bit of self-awareness can go a long way – instead of blaming external forces around you (a convenient cop-out), identify your strengths, as well as your weaknesses (and work to improve them). If you’re unable to achieve a task, don’t just quit. Think about what aspects of your attitude and approach held you back.

Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got one flat. – Unknown

4. You don’t have the right attitude

No one is completely negative or positive about everything. Because most of us have a mixture of attitudes towards different things, we become so used to our own way of thinking that we’re prone to developing blind spots – it becomes difficult to pin-point our self-destructive attitudes. This is why having a coach as an unbiased, external observer, can help to shed some light on areas you may not have thought of before, as well as to guide you towards making the changes that will help you achieve better results.

It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome. -William James

5. You don’t take the right actions

You may have the best attitude in the world, but if you’re not taking the right steps towards your goals, you’re not likely to achieve them – the wrong actions with the right attitude won’t get you very far!

Becoming more familiar with the trial-and-error method can help you to use your failures as stepping stones to take you further toward success; one wrong stepping stone towards the wrong direction isn’t the end of the world, it’s just one step less to think about!

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When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps. -Confucius

Unfortunately, the truth does sometimes hurt, but if you’re unable to handle it, are you really cut out for the field you’re hoping to succeed in? Instead of letting the above truths hurt your feelings, use them to empower you! While it may sting a little to think about yourself not being as successful as you want to be, you have the power to change things, as long as you can just be honest with yourself! So think about how bad you really want success and whether you’re really willing to do what other successful people have done to be in the positions they’re in.

Remember, no one is going to achieve your dreams for you – you only have one life to make things happen, so get to it!

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Kirstin O´Donovan

Certified Life and Productivity Coach, Founder and CEO of TopResultsCoaching

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Published on April 16, 2019

How Self Care Can Help You Live Your Best Life

How Self Care Can Help You Live Your Best Life

When was the last time you did something for yourself?

Whether it was deciding to treat yourself with a little something or travel for some R&R, how often do you practice self-care?

Well, as good as above sounds, there’s a common misconception that many of us have about self-care: that it’s only about indulgence and enjoyment.

However, self-care goes far beyond indulgence. It’s actually about respecting your mind and body, understanding its limits, and being able to take care of every part of yourself, in a holistic way.

And, you really don’t have to go to extreme measures or do anything specific–like meditating or following a plant based diet–in order to practice self-care. You just have to make sure that what you’re doing is in your best interests.

So how can you make that happen?

Below are a few proven methods that will help you become a better version of you. Follow through with these regularly and you’ll be well on your way to living your very best life.

Listen to Yourself

The bulk of self-care is knowing yourself.

This means knowing your body’s limitations, and being in tune with your feelings, emotions and thoughts. So it’s important, then, to know who you are and what you want to do in life, in order to truly say that you know yourself. 

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What is your purpose?

Have you ever thought about this question?

Your purpose doesn’t have to remain the same throughout your life. What you found a purpose in at age 19 would likely be different at age 49.

In your current situation, think about the different roles that you have – as a working professional, a spouse, a partner, a parent, etc.

Do you feel like you are fulfilling your purpose through any of these roles?

All you have to do is ensure that what you’re chasing is meaningful to you; this will bring focus and motivation as you strive to achieve your goals.

If you have your purpose defined, then that’s awesome! You know what drives you and why.

But, if you don’t feel like you have a purpose nailed down, it’s good to start by asking why.

For example, why are you working in your particular job or industry? If the reason is vague or unclear, then your motivational energy will be the same. In which case, you may find yourself not having a direction for where you’re headed in life.

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If you’d like to learn more about finding your purpose, then I recommend you check out this article:

How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up

Seek Out Continuous Education

Now, this may seem less common when you think of self-care, but lifelong learning is incredibly useful and an important component of taking care of yourself.

It’s Super Practical

Lifelong learning is extremely practical these days and does not require as much effort as it may have in the past. Long gone are the days when you could only find information on something by visiting a library. In this day of the internet, anything you can imagine is at your fingertips.

You don’t need to physically go to a learning institution to learn. You can watch Youtube videos to learn new skills, take online courses to earn a degree, and scroll through an endless amount of articles, books and journals from reputable news and informative sites.

When you’re constantly pushing yourself to learn and take up new things, your mental health also improves. Research shows that an active and engaged mind is responsible for diminishing age-related memory loss and improves overall cognitive abilities.

Your Confidence Will Skyrocket

You’ll also have improved self worth as it teaches you to step outside of your comfort zone, which will undoubtedly improve your confidence.

You’ll also connect better with others by expanding your knowledge base. Learning exposes you to a multitude of new ideas and perspectives that you may have otherwise never considered. This also increases your adaptability. Whether it’s at work or just wanting to adapt to society, your peers, and loved ones, life long learning prepares you to take on new challenges.

You’ll Be More Desired in the Job Market

Another obvious reason for continuous education, is that your employability will also increase.

With the ever changing economy, and huge influences from technology, social media, science etc., job descriptions today are moving targets. Assignments and roles change so quickly in response to changing business demands, it becomes a Herculean task to keep a job description database current.

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In years past, stability was a characteristic of the world of work. Procedures, information, jobs, and organizations were established and provided continuity. Education was completed in the first 14 to 22 years of one’s life, followed by a long career occasionally punctuated by short-term job training.

Today, however, jobs, companies, and technology are disappearing and being created simultaneously. To remain current and maintain a competitive advantage in the human capital marketplace, an individual is challenged to continually learn.

People return to school at every age to enrich their skills and knowledge for their current positions. Some even prepare themselves for new jobs or career changes, moving them forward into new opportunities and technology.

We can be assured that we will be challenged to continue to learn new tasks and information throughout our lives. Successful careers belong to flexible, curious learners who are prepared for opportunities because they know themselves and where they make their best contribution. As Peter Drucker, the father of modern management stated,

“Knowledge is choice.”

Lifelong learning also increases social awareness and perspective. To genuinely understand and empathize with others, increase social awareness, and foster strong interpersonal relationships, it’s important to seek out new perspectives. Enhancing the skills that positively impact emotional intelligence can bring even greater happiness and success, both personally and at work; and, this is all part of self-care.

Improve Your Habits (Both at Work and at Home)

Now, the last piece of advice I want to introduce to your self-care regimen, is to improve your habits.

Habits define who you are, and are built up over time. You are what you eat is a great example of this. If you make it a habit to eat foods that nourish your body, rather than make your body feel bad, then you will be much healthier overall.

Good Habits Allow You to Reach Your Goals

Since habits dictate your days and nights, such as waking up every morning to get to work before a certain time, or brushing your teeth before bedtime every night, they play a major role in whether we do or do not reach our goals.

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When you form habits that allow you to progress towards your goals, you’re automatically living a purposeful day, everyday.

Habits Make Your Time a Priority

How do you spend your free time? Do you opt to lounge on the couch watching Netflix passively, or do you engage in activities that support your purpose in life?

It’s natural to waste a lot of time during the day, but fostering good habits will make you set a pattern for how you spend your time and give you the choice of what you choose to spend your time on. By improving your habits, you’ll find that you can be a LOT more productive. When you create good habits, you become more efficient with your time and a lot less is wasted.

This in essence creates an overall positive influence on your life, allowing you to treat your mind and body well, which is why improving your habits are so important to self-care.

Your Well Being Comes First

We live in such a fast-paced society, where we are often so caught up in our work, families, maintaining our social lives, our studies and everything in between. It’s an understatement to say that life can get a little overwhelming at times.

If you’ve ever watched the safety video onboard a plane, you’ll know that they always ask for a parent or adult to put on the safety mask first, before tending to the child. This may sound selfish, but the fact is that if you truly want to ensure the child’s safety, then your safety needs to come first so that you can protect and care for the child without complications from your end.

The same goes for self-care. We need to ensure that our well being is priority, so that we can be the best for the people around us.

Listening to yourself, practicing lifelong learning and improving your habits are steps that you can take to ensure you’re constantly in the best state of mind, alongside the indulgence and rest that you reward yourself with.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Raychan on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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