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8 Signs You Will Be A Good Father (…Even You Don’t Think So At The Moment)

8 Signs You Will Be A Good Father (…Even You Don’t Think So At The Moment)

We live in a progressive age, where it is easier than ever for working fathers around the world to balance their personal and professional commitments. From flexible working directives (which will soon enable those without a fixed office to receive remuneration for travelling to and from their home) to increased paternity leave, the current generation of fathers are being afforded a helping hand like never before.

Despite these positive legislation changes, the emotional and psychological demands of being a father can be extremely challenging for first-timers. With no point of reference in their personal experience and conflicting opinions about what distinguishes a good father, it is easy for individuals to doubt themselves and the influence that they are having on their children. There are characteristics and personal traits that can empower you as an excellent father, however, and identifying these may offer comfort during times of insecurity. These include: –

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1. You can prioritize your Time Decisively

As a working father, the ability to prioritize is a key weapon to have in your armory. This will enable you to optimize your use of time in the workplace, which in turn means that you can return home in a relaxed and focused mood. Without the need to constantly check emails or handle professional calls, you will be able to prioritize time with your child and make the most of those precious moments before they are put down to sleep. Time is the greatest gift you can give your child as a father, so those with excellent prioritization and organisation skills are likely to be excellent fathers.

2. You are Playful and Spontaneous

The demands of nine-to-five work can alter your personality over time, gradually eroding your playfulness and instinctive sense of spontaneity. This can lead to workplace stress and anxiety, which can permeate every area of your life and impact negatively on your child. If you have managed to retain your sense of fun, however, you find it easy to engage your child through play and enjoy meaningful, spontaneous interaction. This will help you to bond with your child and fulfill your all-consuming role as a father.

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3. You are Nurturing

Whether you assume the role of a mother or a father, a good parent is nurturing and is selfless by nature. When a child is sick or injured, he or she becomes extremely vulnerable and needs their parents to provide unconditional support until they have recovered. If you have these character traits and are able to place the needs of others before your own, you have the core skills required to become a loved and influential father.

4. You Understand the Need to set an Example

While it is possible to hone sensory development and teach children through words alone, infants learn most effectively when they observe others. This is especially true with regards to relationships and interpersonal interaction, so parents play a significant role in teaching best practice by setting a positive example. If you already grasp this and understand the importance of your how your behavior may be perceived, you will be an effective father and role-model to your child.

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5. You are Patient

Lets’ face facts; being a parent is arguably the single biggest test of your emotional control and patience. Younger children do not understand the principles of reasoning, for example, while they may also be slower at completing certain tasks until their cognitive development reaches an advanced stage. This can be extremely frustrating (especially for highly skilled or intelligent individuals), but those with the potential to be great fathers are able to control these negative emotions and manage similar situations with genuine grace. They can also strike a compromise with other and communicate calmly, even during times of stress or duress.

6. You are Financially Responsible

We have already touched on the importance of setting a good positive example, but this extends beyond everyday interactions. It is also crucial that all fathers are fiscally responsible and actively teach their child about the importance of frugality, especially with the threat of a global recession looming large for 2016. Good fathers have a desire to financially support their family and reinforce good money management principles, so it is important that you are able to prioritize saving and frugal responsibility at all times.

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7. You are not afraid to be Unpopular for the Greater Good

This is something that leaders and those in management positions will appreciate, as occasionally you may need to make an unpopular decision for the greater good or in order to maintain a strategic course. While this may be met with short-term angst, it is crucial to remain focused on the bigger picture and the external factors that forced your hand. This mental fortitude and self-discipline is crucial if you are to become a parent and particularly a father, as you will need to punish bad behavior and reinforce any sanctions that you implement even if your child is upset. This can be challenging, but those with a longer-term outlook will be able to cope.

8. You understand the value of Teamwork

It is easy to become pigeon-holed in our everyday relationships, as we become increasingly rigid when ensuring that each individual fulfills their household chores and responsibilities. There is an occasional need for flexibility, however, where we must work as a team with our loved ones or assume additional responsibilities for a brief period of time. This is especially true for new parents, as the addition of a child can create considerable pressure and consume a huge amount of your time. If you understand this, the need of teamwork and its value to a successful relationship, you can use this to your advantage and emerge as a productive father figure.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay / PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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