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8 Signs You Will Be A Good Father (…Even You Don’t Think So At The Moment)

8 Signs You Will Be A Good Father (…Even You Don’t Think So At The Moment)

We live in a progressive age, where it is easier than ever for working fathers around the world to balance their personal and professional commitments. From flexible working directives (which will soon enable those without a fixed office to receive remuneration for travelling to and from their home) to increased paternity leave, the current generation of fathers are being afforded a helping hand like never before.

Despite these positive legislation changes, the emotional and psychological demands of being a father can be extremely challenging for first-timers. With no point of reference in their personal experience and conflicting opinions about what distinguishes a good father, it is easy for individuals to doubt themselves and the influence that they are having on their children. There are characteristics and personal traits that can empower you as an excellent father, however, and identifying these may offer comfort during times of insecurity. These include: –

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1. You can prioritize your Time Decisively

As a working father, the ability to prioritize is a key weapon to have in your armory. This will enable you to optimize your use of time in the workplace, which in turn means that you can return home in a relaxed and focused mood. Without the need to constantly check emails or handle professional calls, you will be able to prioritize time with your child and make the most of those precious moments before they are put down to sleep. Time is the greatest gift you can give your child as a father, so those with excellent prioritization and organisation skills are likely to be excellent fathers.

2. You are Playful and Spontaneous

The demands of nine-to-five work can alter your personality over time, gradually eroding your playfulness and instinctive sense of spontaneity. This can lead to workplace stress and anxiety, which can permeate every area of your life and impact negatively on your child. If you have managed to retain your sense of fun, however, you find it easy to engage your child through play and enjoy meaningful, spontaneous interaction. This will help you to bond with your child and fulfill your all-consuming role as a father.

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3. You are Nurturing

Whether you assume the role of a mother or a father, a good parent is nurturing and is selfless by nature. When a child is sick or injured, he or she becomes extremely vulnerable and needs their parents to provide unconditional support until they have recovered. If you have these character traits and are able to place the needs of others before your own, you have the core skills required to become a loved and influential father.

4. You Understand the Need to set an Example

While it is possible to hone sensory development and teach children through words alone, infants learn most effectively when they observe others. This is especially true with regards to relationships and interpersonal interaction, so parents play a significant role in teaching best practice by setting a positive example. If you already grasp this and understand the importance of your how your behavior may be perceived, you will be an effective father and role-model to your child.

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5. You are Patient

Lets’ face facts; being a parent is arguably the single biggest test of your emotional control and patience. Younger children do not understand the principles of reasoning, for example, while they may also be slower at completing certain tasks until their cognitive development reaches an advanced stage. This can be extremely frustrating (especially for highly skilled or intelligent individuals), but those with the potential to be great fathers are able to control these negative emotions and manage similar situations with genuine grace. They can also strike a compromise with other and communicate calmly, even during times of stress or duress.

6. You are Financially Responsible

We have already touched on the importance of setting a good positive example, but this extends beyond everyday interactions. It is also crucial that all fathers are fiscally responsible and actively teach their child about the importance of frugality, especially with the threat of a global recession looming large for 2016. Good fathers have a desire to financially support their family and reinforce good money management principles, so it is important that you are able to prioritize saving and frugal responsibility at all times.

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7. You are not afraid to be Unpopular for the Greater Good

This is something that leaders and those in management positions will appreciate, as occasionally you may need to make an unpopular decision for the greater good or in order to maintain a strategic course. While this may be met with short-term angst, it is crucial to remain focused on the bigger picture and the external factors that forced your hand. This mental fortitude and self-discipline is crucial if you are to become a parent and particularly a father, as you will need to punish bad behavior and reinforce any sanctions that you implement even if your child is upset. This can be challenging, but those with a longer-term outlook will be able to cope.

8. You understand the value of Teamwork

It is easy to become pigeon-holed in our everyday relationships, as we become increasingly rigid when ensuring that each individual fulfills their household chores and responsibilities. There is an occasional need for flexibility, however, where we must work as a team with our loved ones or assume additional responsibilities for a brief period of time. This is especially true for new parents, as the addition of a child can create considerable pressure and consume a huge amount of your time. If you understand this, the need of teamwork and its value to a successful relationship, you can use this to your advantage and emerge as a productive father figure.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay / PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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