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8 Signs You Will Be A Good Father (…Even You Don’t Think So At The Moment)

8 Signs You Will Be A Good Father (…Even You Don’t Think So At The Moment)

We live in a progressive age, where it is easier than ever for working fathers around the world to balance their personal and professional commitments. From flexible working directives (which will soon enable those without a fixed office to receive remuneration for travelling to and from their home) to increased paternity leave, the current generation of fathers are being afforded a helping hand like never before.

Despite these positive legislation changes, the emotional and psychological demands of being a father can be extremely challenging for first-timers. With no point of reference in their personal experience and conflicting opinions about what distinguishes a good father, it is easy for individuals to doubt themselves and the influence that they are having on their children. There are characteristics and personal traits that can empower you as an excellent father, however, and identifying these may offer comfort during times of insecurity. These include: –

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1. You can prioritize your Time Decisively

As a working father, the ability to prioritize is a key weapon to have in your armory. This will enable you to optimize your use of time in the workplace, which in turn means that you can return home in a relaxed and focused mood. Without the need to constantly check emails or handle professional calls, you will be able to prioritize time with your child and make the most of those precious moments before they are put down to sleep. Time is the greatest gift you can give your child as a father, so those with excellent prioritization and organisation skills are likely to be excellent fathers.

2. You are Playful and Spontaneous

The demands of nine-to-five work can alter your personality over time, gradually eroding your playfulness and instinctive sense of spontaneity. This can lead to workplace stress and anxiety, which can permeate every area of your life and impact negatively on your child. If you have managed to retain your sense of fun, however, you find it easy to engage your child through play and enjoy meaningful, spontaneous interaction. This will help you to bond with your child and fulfill your all-consuming role as a father.

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3. You are Nurturing

Whether you assume the role of a mother or a father, a good parent is nurturing and is selfless by nature. When a child is sick or injured, he or she becomes extremely vulnerable and needs their parents to provide unconditional support until they have recovered. If you have these character traits and are able to place the needs of others before your own, you have the core skills required to become a loved and influential father.

4. You Understand the Need to set an Example

While it is possible to hone sensory development and teach children through words alone, infants learn most effectively when they observe others. This is especially true with regards to relationships and interpersonal interaction, so parents play a significant role in teaching best practice by setting a positive example. If you already grasp this and understand the importance of your how your behavior may be perceived, you will be an effective father and role-model to your child.

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5. You are Patient

Lets’ face facts; being a parent is arguably the single biggest test of your emotional control and patience. Younger children do not understand the principles of reasoning, for example, while they may also be slower at completing certain tasks until their cognitive development reaches an advanced stage. This can be extremely frustrating (especially for highly skilled or intelligent individuals), but those with the potential to be great fathers are able to control these negative emotions and manage similar situations with genuine grace. They can also strike a compromise with other and communicate calmly, even during times of stress or duress.

6. You are Financially Responsible

We have already touched on the importance of setting a good positive example, but this extends beyond everyday interactions. It is also crucial that all fathers are fiscally responsible and actively teach their child about the importance of frugality, especially with the threat of a global recession looming large for 2016. Good fathers have a desire to financially support their family and reinforce good money management principles, so it is important that you are able to prioritize saving and frugal responsibility at all times.

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7. You are not afraid to be Unpopular for the Greater Good

This is something that leaders and those in management positions will appreciate, as occasionally you may need to make an unpopular decision for the greater good or in order to maintain a strategic course. While this may be met with short-term angst, it is crucial to remain focused on the bigger picture and the external factors that forced your hand. This mental fortitude and self-discipline is crucial if you are to become a parent and particularly a father, as you will need to punish bad behavior and reinforce any sanctions that you implement even if your child is upset. This can be challenging, but those with a longer-term outlook will be able to cope.

8. You understand the value of Teamwork

It is easy to become pigeon-holed in our everyday relationships, as we become increasingly rigid when ensuring that each individual fulfills their household chores and responsibilities. There is an occasional need for flexibility, however, where we must work as a team with our loved ones or assume additional responsibilities for a brief period of time. This is especially true for new parents, as the addition of a child can create considerable pressure and consume a huge amount of your time. If you understand this, the need of teamwork and its value to a successful relationship, you can use this to your advantage and emerge as a productive father figure.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay / PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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