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8 Signs You Will Be A Good Father (…Even You Don’t Think So At The Moment)

8 Signs You Will Be A Good Father (…Even You Don’t Think So At The Moment)

We live in a progressive age, where it is easier than ever for working fathers around the world to balance their personal and professional commitments. From flexible working directives (which will soon enable those without a fixed office to receive remuneration for travelling to and from their home) to increased paternity leave, the current generation of fathers are being afforded a helping hand like never before.

Despite these positive legislation changes, the emotional and psychological demands of being a father can be extremely challenging for first-timers. With no point of reference in their personal experience and conflicting opinions about what distinguishes a good father, it is easy for individuals to doubt themselves and the influence that they are having on their children. There are characteristics and personal traits that can empower you as an excellent father, however, and identifying these may offer comfort during times of insecurity. These include: –

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1. You can prioritize your Time Decisively

As a working father, the ability to prioritize is a key weapon to have in your armory. This will enable you to optimize your use of time in the workplace, which in turn means that you can return home in a relaxed and focused mood. Without the need to constantly check emails or handle professional calls, you will be able to prioritize time with your child and make the most of those precious moments before they are put down to sleep. Time is the greatest gift you can give your child as a father, so those with excellent prioritization and organisation skills are likely to be excellent fathers.

2. You are Playful and Spontaneous

The demands of nine-to-five work can alter your personality over time, gradually eroding your playfulness and instinctive sense of spontaneity. This can lead to workplace stress and anxiety, which can permeate every area of your life and impact negatively on your child. If you have managed to retain your sense of fun, however, you find it easy to engage your child through play and enjoy meaningful, spontaneous interaction. This will help you to bond with your child and fulfill your all-consuming role as a father.

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3. You are Nurturing

Whether you assume the role of a mother or a father, a good parent is nurturing and is selfless by nature. When a child is sick or injured, he or she becomes extremely vulnerable and needs their parents to provide unconditional support until they have recovered. If you have these character traits and are able to place the needs of others before your own, you have the core skills required to become a loved and influential father.

4. You Understand the Need to set an Example

While it is possible to hone sensory development and teach children through words alone, infants learn most effectively when they observe others. This is especially true with regards to relationships and interpersonal interaction, so parents play a significant role in teaching best practice by setting a positive example. If you already grasp this and understand the importance of your how your behavior may be perceived, you will be an effective father and role-model to your child.

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5. You are Patient

Lets’ face facts; being a parent is arguably the single biggest test of your emotional control and patience. Younger children do not understand the principles of reasoning, for example, while they may also be slower at completing certain tasks until their cognitive development reaches an advanced stage. This can be extremely frustrating (especially for highly skilled or intelligent individuals), but those with the potential to be great fathers are able to control these negative emotions and manage similar situations with genuine grace. They can also strike a compromise with other and communicate calmly, even during times of stress or duress.

6. You are Financially Responsible

We have already touched on the importance of setting a good positive example, but this extends beyond everyday interactions. It is also crucial that all fathers are fiscally responsible and actively teach their child about the importance of frugality, especially with the threat of a global recession looming large for 2016. Good fathers have a desire to financially support their family and reinforce good money management principles, so it is important that you are able to prioritize saving and frugal responsibility at all times.

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7. You are not afraid to be Unpopular for the Greater Good

This is something that leaders and those in management positions will appreciate, as occasionally you may need to make an unpopular decision for the greater good or in order to maintain a strategic course. While this may be met with short-term angst, it is crucial to remain focused on the bigger picture and the external factors that forced your hand. This mental fortitude and self-discipline is crucial if you are to become a parent and particularly a father, as you will need to punish bad behavior and reinforce any sanctions that you implement even if your child is upset. This can be challenging, but those with a longer-term outlook will be able to cope.

8. You understand the value of Teamwork

It is easy to become pigeon-holed in our everyday relationships, as we become increasingly rigid when ensuring that each individual fulfills their household chores and responsibilities. There is an occasional need for flexibility, however, where we must work as a team with our loved ones or assume additional responsibilities for a brief period of time. This is especially true for new parents, as the addition of a child can create considerable pressure and consume a huge amount of your time. If you understand this, the need of teamwork and its value to a successful relationship, you can use this to your advantage and emerge as a productive father figure.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay / PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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