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10 Signs You’ll Be A Great Mother Even If You Don’t Think So

10 Signs You’ll Be A Great Mother Even If You Don’t Think So

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a test you could take to know what kind of mother you would be, or if you would even enjoy the process? Some women dive right in, just knowing in their soul that it’s what they are meant to do, while others have some reservations.

If you aren’t sure about motherhood, take a look at these 10 indicators that you would be a great mom. Let’s see how you measure up!

1. You are nurturing.

Raising children means having fun band-aids at the ready, giving hugs for both good and bad times, and providing life lessons to mold them into amazing adults. You have been through heartache, skinned your knees, and had both good and bad times, so you are already equipped! You also carve out time with your partner and understand that nurturing that relationship, with and without the kids around, is equally important.

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2. You are strong.

You know that being a mom doesn’t mean you are a best friend. Enjoying your kids is great, but you are strong enough to know when to set boundaries and hand out consequences that will teach them how to act in the world.

3. You are fun.

You know how to have fun with your family. You can be silly and teach a little math while baking cookies. For example, 1/2 cup and 1/2 cup equals 1 cup! Sometimes, you can start a water balloon fight on a hot summer day. Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to lose your spontaneity and sense of fun. You just get to use it in lots of new ways!

4. You are vulnerable.

Gone are the days of the perfect mother, like Donna Reed or Leave it to Beaver‘s mom who was always impeccably dressed and wearing pearls while getting a balanced meal on the table at 5:30 pm sharp. You know it’s okay to admit to not having all the answers or making a mistake. This will also teach your children that it’s okay for them too. You will be a role model for how to fix mistakes and find answers to the things you don’t know (like more great lessons that kids need to learn).

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5. You are dedicated.

When you decide to do something you are all-in. You know that having and raising kids isn’t something to be taken lightly. You are willing to do what it takes to keep them safe, help them learn, and help them grow to become confident, fun, and happy adults. You are also dedicated to keeping your relationships with your partner, family, and friends. You understand that there needs to be a balance. You know that the kids can’t always come first – and that that doesn’t make you a bad mom!

6. You are protective of those you love.

If you currently have girlfriends or family that you would drop everything for if they needed you, you are totally ready to be a mom! Being a mom is a balance of nurturing, teaching, and protecting them when you can. You know that doesn’t mean coddling them and thinking they can do no wrong, but you are willing to stand up to others who may be crossing a line when it comes to your kids.

7. You know how to ask for help.

You understand that there will be times when you need help and you won’t be afraid to ask for it. The “Super Woman” syndrome (where women try to do it all and think asking for help is a sign of weakness) is a recipe for exhaustion. A rested mom who is happy and not constantly overwhelmed is a better mom. She’s also a mom that shows her kids that asking for help is a good thing! Communicating and asking your partner for help is the key to success – divide, conquer, and live a happy life!

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8. You know how to say “NO.”

Knowing how to say “no” is a key ingredient to being a mom. Kids will ask for all sorts of things and some won’t be safe. Sometimes they won’t be aligned with your family values and others will simply be out of your budget. You know that saying “NO” can be the most loving thing you can do. You don’t just say “YES” so people will like you.

9. You know you will have to eventually let go.

You understand that one day, these little humans who once depended on you for everything, will become more and more independent until they one day leave the nest. You may have mixed emotions, but you also know that that is what your job as a mom is all about – helping your kids become independent, self-sufficient members of society. (And if all goes well, they will love to visit!)

10. You are a little scared of being a mom.

If you have some doubts about how you will cut it as a mom, it probably means you will be a natural. You are thinking things through and realize having a child isn’t about someone to love YOU unconditionally, but rather another human being who you will be responsible for. They will change your life in amazing ways and challenge you at the same time.

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Featured photo credit: mother and son – by Tara Reed (article author) via flickr.com

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Tara Reed

Tara is the founder of Pivot To Happy, a site with resources for families dealing with a dementia or Alzheimer's diagnosis.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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