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10 Signs You’ll Be A Great Mother Even If You Don’t Think So

10 Signs You’ll Be A Great Mother Even If You Don’t Think So

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a test you could take to know what kind of mother you would be, or if you would even enjoy the process? Some women dive right in, just knowing in their soul that it’s what they are meant to do, while others have some reservations.

If you aren’t sure about motherhood, take a look at these 10 indicators that you would be a great mom. Let’s see how you measure up!

1. You are nurturing.

Raising children means having fun band-aids at the ready, giving hugs for both good and bad times, and providing life lessons to mold them into amazing adults. You have been through heartache, skinned your knees, and had both good and bad times, so you are already equipped! You also carve out time with your partner and understand that nurturing that relationship, with and without the kids around, is equally important.

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2. You are strong.

You know that being a mom doesn’t mean you are a best friend. Enjoying your kids is great, but you are strong enough to know when to set boundaries and hand out consequences that will teach them how to act in the world.

3. You are fun.

You know how to have fun with your family. You can be silly and teach a little math while baking cookies. For example, 1/2 cup and 1/2 cup equals 1 cup! Sometimes, you can start a water balloon fight on a hot summer day. Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to lose your spontaneity and sense of fun. You just get to use it in lots of new ways!

4. You are vulnerable.

Gone are the days of the perfect mother, like Donna Reed or Leave it to Beaver‘s mom who was always impeccably dressed and wearing pearls while getting a balanced meal on the table at 5:30 pm sharp. You know it’s okay to admit to not having all the answers or making a mistake. This will also teach your children that it’s okay for them too. You will be a role model for how to fix mistakes and find answers to the things you don’t know (like more great lessons that kids need to learn).

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5. You are dedicated.

When you decide to do something you are all-in. You know that having and raising kids isn’t something to be taken lightly. You are willing to do what it takes to keep them safe, help them learn, and help them grow to become confident, fun, and happy adults. You are also dedicated to keeping your relationships with your partner, family, and friends. You understand that there needs to be a balance. You know that the kids can’t always come first – and that that doesn’t make you a bad mom!

6. You are protective of those you love.

If you currently have girlfriends or family that you would drop everything for if they needed you, you are totally ready to be a mom! Being a mom is a balance of nurturing, teaching, and protecting them when you can. You know that doesn’t mean coddling them and thinking they can do no wrong, but you are willing to stand up to others who may be crossing a line when it comes to your kids.

7. You know how to ask for help.

You understand that there will be times when you need help and you won’t be afraid to ask for it. The “Super Woman” syndrome (where women try to do it all and think asking for help is a sign of weakness) is a recipe for exhaustion. A rested mom who is happy and not constantly overwhelmed is a better mom. She’s also a mom that shows her kids that asking for help is a good thing! Communicating and asking your partner for help is the key to success – divide, conquer, and live a happy life!

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8. You know how to say “NO.”

Knowing how to say “no” is a key ingredient to being a mom. Kids will ask for all sorts of things and some won’t be safe. Sometimes they won’t be aligned with your family values and others will simply be out of your budget. You know that saying “NO” can be the most loving thing you can do. You don’t just say “YES” so people will like you.

9. You know you will have to eventually let go.

You understand that one day, these little humans who once depended on you for everything, will become more and more independent until they one day leave the nest. You may have mixed emotions, but you also know that that is what your job as a mom is all about – helping your kids become independent, self-sufficient members of society. (And if all goes well, they will love to visit!)

10. You are a little scared of being a mom.

If you have some doubts about how you will cut it as a mom, it probably means you will be a natural. You are thinking things through and realize having a child isn’t about someone to love YOU unconditionally, but rather another human being who you will be responsible for. They will change your life in amazing ways and challenge you at the same time.

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Featured photo credit: mother and son – by Tara Reed (article author) via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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