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7 Habits You Must Build To Be Wealthy

7 Habits You Must Build To Be Wealthy

So, you want to be wealthy? That is definitely on the agenda for you. And yet, you are not quite there, are you? And you keep wondering when your time will come or maybe, you are beginning to think, you just won’t get there. Are you lacking something? Were you not born into the right family? Is there some trait you are just not aware of, yet? Why not you?

It gets like this at times, doesn’t it? The voice in your head gets a little louder and you begin to despair and wonder when your time is going to come. You are following the rules or so you think but maybe you are missing some of the habits. They seem too soft; they seem too unnecessary because you are looking for something solid to hang onto. A tip, a trick, a technique, a business hack that will turn everything around when you implement it but the truth is, my friend, that most of your success is going to come as a result of a few key habits that you implement and here is a starting point for you, if getting rich is to be a certainty in your life.

1. You Must Be Consistent

Too many wannabe wealthy people think that things have to work immediately, within three seconds, if they are ever going to work. So, they learn a new way to promote their business, they implement it for the said three seconds (a slight exaggeration!) and then they wait for the riches to pour in and then, nothing happens so they stop and change direction or quit.

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Getting rich happens when you stay on path for a long period of time. It happens when you realise that it is the day in, day out consistent following of a plan that gets you to your goal. Regardless of what the media may say, there are no overnight successes, there is only someone who consistently put one foot in front of the other daily, with eyes focused on the goal for as long as it took to get where they set out to go.You can be that person, too.

2. You must have boundaries

How much of your time is currently spent satisfying the needs and desires of the people in your world who do not have the same mission as you? How much time do you spend (and I must be blunt) people-pleasing? So much time is spent by the vast majority of people, keeping everyone happy. And it is usually at the expense of their own dreams, their own calling and mission. If you do want to be wealthy then you need to build the habit of controlling the access that other people have to you and this matters whether they are loved ones or customers or whoever.

Of course, there will be varying levels of access with a few key intimate family or friend relationships but overall, understand you are on a mission and therefore, you cannot spend all your time trying to be liked. Your goal is to serve as many people as possible, not please them. So, be a person with boundaries.

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3. You must get around like-minded people

How on earth are you going to create wealth and get rich if you and everyone around you is more likely to think that ‘lack’ is a normal way of life? Yes, you may have been brought up in an environment where most people lived a bland life. Yes, they may have assumed that they would get a job and stay in that job, just about getting by, until they died. However, if you have decided that you are going to get wealthy, then it is time to seek out a new crowd.

You become like the people you hang out with. So, again, in addition to having boundaries when it comes to certain people, dare to uplevel the relationships in your life. Choose to get around people who think it is normal to succeed. Let their thinking seep into your mind and heart and let it become your norm, too. You can be, do and have whatever you want and it helps to be surrounded by others who believe the same.

4. You must invest in your personal growth

Do you understand that you are your greatest asset? Whatever you invest in yourself, is not an expense, it literally is an asset and will continually produce results for you, time and time again. The books you read, the courses you attend, the coaching you get, all have the ability to accelerate your speed to becoming wealthy. Do not be one of those people who think that every teacher, coach, mentor out there is just trying to scam you. That is a poverty mindset. Every learning experience is just that, a learning experience. It is you, the student, who chooses what you take out of the experience. Implement Kaizen – the practice of continuous improvement.

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5. You must get comfortable with being uncomfortable

If it were possible to be wealthy while doing only the things that come easy and are comfortable to you, then you would already be rich. Form a habit of expanding yourself. Form a habit of stretching yourself by taking on more things that you normally wouldn’t do. Of course, be wise about this but do not be content to remain the same, unchallenged and unprovoked. It gets you nowhere fast. Instead, choose to do the things that you avoid. Choose to try a whole lot of new things in order to see what will actually work for you.Get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

6. You must get a journal

Yes, I am prejudiced about this. I think everyone should have a written journal – a place to record one’s thoughts, one’s desires, one’s crazy feelings and more. A safe place to peel off the layers and discover what is really going on beneath the hood. Yes, I do think you must have one. And more than that, you must get into the habit of writing in it daily, preferably during a form of quiet time first thing in the morning. I am being prescriptive, I know and yet, it will help you accelerate your personal growth. The daily routine of writing in the journal will keep you clear, keep you aware and keep you on track. The main key here is to raise your awareness. You cannot get rich and wealthy while living a passive, ‘whatever comes’, life. Get Deliberate.

7. You must believe you can do only what you love

A big obstacle for a lot of wannabe wealthy people is the thought that the only pathway to wealth is to be someone they don’t like, do things they don’t want to do and yes, they get to have it all but the cost seems too high. And, of course, it is. And yet, most of the people who do create vast amounts of wealth are not doing it while doing things they hate to do. There may be areas of their business that they dislike and mostly, they outsource those bits. Overall, those with true wealth enjoy their business and enjoy who they are. And for those who don’t, they tend to self-sabotage. We see this all the time in the media. To end this article, you must see that you always get what you expect to get, so if you expect wealth and getting rich to mean you must be someone you don’t like, you will not allow yourself to succeed.

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Why not choose to believe and take actions that align with who you want to be as a rich, wealthy person? Little by little, stop doing the things you do not enjoy and begin doing more of what you love.

Choose to create a life and a business you want, because you can.

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Rosemary Nonny Knight

Business & Life Strategist

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

How to Calm Down When You’re Stressed and Anxious

How to Calm Down When You’re Stressed and Anxious

Overwhelmed with work, family responsibilities, financial challenges and health issues are common culprits which catalyze stress and anxiety symptoms that show up differently in each and every one of us.

Whilst many of us are becoming much better at identifying what can trigger us to feel these, we’re not always that great at recognizing our individual thresholds; we don’t know exactly how to calm down when the mental, emotional storms erupt.

We can almost see you eye-rolling upon hearing commonly recommended stress antidotes such as taking a bath, lighting candles or going for a walk. Let’s face it. These simply aren’t practical things you can do when you’re on a red-eye flight at 5:30am to run a full day of training interstate and then fly back the same evening not to mention juggling a young family.

You want to know your triggers, predict the impact of them and have your own suite of tools up your sleeve to calm down that impact for the long-term.

Doing a little ground work to gain a strong self-awareness of your likely reactions puts you smack bang in the pilot seat to develop a robust mental and emotional toolkit that will work wonders for you.

A few simple but well-practiced techniques may be all you need to simmer down the cyclonic intensity of emotions, and disparaging thoughts pecking away at your self-esteem and confidence. However, it’s important you do this self-reflective groundwork first to gain maximum impact for long-term effect.

1. Strengthen Familiarity with What Triggers You

When you have arguments with your loved one, do you stop and look to see if there are certain things you fight about? Are there certain behaviors they display that drive you bananas?

Take your focus off them and ask yourself: “What is my usual response?”

Perhaps you feel the anger welling up inside your chest and you then spurt out that you’ve told him or her ten times before to not leave their underwear lying across the bedroom floor.

Think a little deeper. Ask yourself what values, standards and expectations you have that are not being met here. You’ll likely be attached to certain ways you believe things should play out. Are there assumptions and expectations as to how you believe people should conduct themselves and principles about how you feel you should be treated?

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Having a strong attachment to these for yourself is one thing. Expecting others to have the same attachment is often what can make the hot water start simmering.

It is often when people behave in ways inconsistent with our belief systems and events unfold in discord with what we expect and are prepared for that we feel the most stress and anxiety.

Make a list of the common circumstances in different areas of your life that cause you to become anxious and stressed. Against each of these, describe your stress response:

What happens? What do you feel?

Now think about the values, principles and expectations you have attached to these. You’ll see you have a few options:

  • Change my values and expectations
  • Try to change other’s values and expectations
  • Recognize and be in allowance of others having different values, standards and expectations

Reviewing how you react when you’re stressed and anxious, and identifying which of these three options above is going to best serve you, can greatly increase your ability to feel and be in control of calming your reaction.

You move closer to being able to choose how you want to respond as opposed to feeling helpless and the world is spiralling out of control.

2. Have Coping Statements on Hand

When you have a washing machine of chaotic thoughts churning in your mind, trying to implant thoughts that are the complete opposite of what you’re thinking and feeling can be pretty hard.

Not being able to do it can also add another layer of us feeling disappointment in ourselves. We feel we’re failing.

Having coping statements that you can literally latch on to to help you calm down in those stressful and anxious moments, can be particularly helpful.

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Look at creating palm cards and just have three to five of these you can have in your pocket or in your purse. Here are 6 examples:

  • Even though I am feeling this right now, I am going to be alright
  • What I am feeling right now is uncomfortable. I won’t feel this way forever. Soon the intensity of what I am feeling will pass.
  • I’ve survived these feelings before. I can do it again.
  • I feel this way because of my past experiences but right now, I am actually safe.
  • It’s ok for me to feel this way. My body and brain are trying to protect me but I am actually safe right now.
  • Ah, here you are again, anxiety. Thanks for showing up to protect me, but I don’t need you right now.

Choose words and dialogue that feel true and accurate for you. Read the statements out to yourself and test how fitting they are for you. What feels more assuring, calming and right for you?

Make these statements your own. The aim is of these statements is to de-escalate the intensity of what you feel when you’re anxious and stressed.

Remember, you want to refrain from having blunt statements which feel or sound like they’re self-reprimanding because they won’t be pacifying in a positive way.

If you are unsure as to how to come up with statements that fit for you, look to work with a psychologist or licensed therapist to give you a strong start.

3. Identify and Develop Physical Anchors

You actually have within you resources to provide some of the most effective ways to calm yourself down in heightened moments you feel stressed and anxious. Renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Levine and expert in treating stress and trauma, teaches us how techniques which do this, such as Somatic Experiencing®[1] can significantly help us calm down.

By learning to be fully present and applying touch to certain areas of your body (e.g. forehead and heart space), you increase your capacity to self-regulate. You also learn how to attend to and release your unique symptoms that your body has been containing in a way you have not been able to before.

Here’s one technique example:

  1. Get in a comfortable position
  2. Have your eyes open or closed, whatever feels most comfortable for you
  3. Now place one hand on your forehead, palm side flat against the skin
  4. Place the other hand, palm down across your heart space above your sternum… the flat of your chest area.
  5. Gently turn your attention to what you feel physically in the area between your two hands. Observe and just take notice of what you physically feel. Is your chest pounding? How strong are its beat and the rhythm? Do you notice any other sensations anywhere else between your two hands?
  6. Don’t try to push or resist what you’re feeling. Try to just sit with it and remain this way with your hands in place until you feel a shift, a physical one. It might take a little longer, so try to be patient.

You might feel a change in energy flow, a change in temperature or different, less intense sensations. Just keep your hands in place until you feel some kind of shift, even if gradual.

It might take you even 5 to 10 minutes but, riding this wave will help you to process what discomfort your body is containing. It will greatly help to release it so you gradually become calmer.

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Purely cognitive exercises can be tough at the outset. Learning somatic experience techniques is particularly helpful because you’re engaging in exercises where you physically can feel the difference. Feeling the changes helps you increase confidence you can control and reduce the discomfort you’re feeling. You’ll be motivated to keep practicing and improving this skill you can take anywhere, anytime.

4. Move and Get Physical

If you’re not one to exercise, you’re robbing yourself of some very easy ways which help you calm down and reduce stress and anxiety responses. Many neuro chemical changes take place when you engage in exercise.

At certain levels of physical exertion, your brain’s pituitary gland releases neurotransmitter endorphins. When they bind with certain opiate receptors in your brain, signals are transmuted throughout your nervous system to reduce feelings of pain and trigger feelings of euphoria. You might have heard the term ‘runner’s high’.

For the last 20 years, University of Missouri-Columbia’s Professor Richard Cox has conducted research showing that high intensity interval training (HIIT) is more effective at reducing anxiety and stress levels than other forms of aerobic exercise.[2] However, if you would rather slay dragons than turn up an F45 class, it’s essential you still find something that will physically shift you and alter your current mental and emotional state of mind, even just a fraction to start with. It’s 100% ok if this is not your cup of tea.

So in a day full of back of back-to-back meetings, what can you do?

If you’re sitting, stand. Change your posture and open your body up. Have a suite of discrete stretches you can do regularly as you deepen and engage in diaphragmatic breathing.

If you’re looking down at your desk at work and feeling increasingly stressed, look up and change what you’re looking at. Give yourself more than a few moments to decompress.

The main thing is to change your disposition from the one you’re in when you are experiencing anxiety and stress symptoms. You’re shaking it up to calm it down.

5. Transform Your Unhelpful Inner Dialogue and Its Energy

Learning cognitive restructuring techniques can truly work wonders in helping you recognize and re-frame unhelpful dialogue and negative critical thinking patterns. This involves a little preparation being transparent with yourself about what exaggerated perspectives you might ascribe to what’s happening when you’re feeling stressed and anxious.

When you open your email inbox and see a flood of requests which require more time and energy you have for that day, dread starts to settle in and the following comes to mind: “This is impossible. How can they expect me to be able to do all this? It’s completely unreasonable!”

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Instantly, many other thoughts that reinforce this line of thinking as well as the emotional energy of your first conscious thought start unravelling. A 4-step process you can engage to calm the eruption is:

  1. Catch and notice that first thought you had. What was it? What did you think and/or say to yourself?
  2. Recognize that what you’re feeling and be in allowance of the initial intensity of whatever those emotions are.
  3. Breath deliberately a little more deeply and slowly for a few seconds.
  4. State to yourself: “Right now (in this moment) I’m feeling overwhelmed by this, however maybe I can look at what I can make good progress and headway with as a start from here on.”

Notice the language in step 4 is tentative, supportive, soft and not resistant nor defiant of what your original thought was. You accept your original thought, but gradually you become stronger at pivoting it.[3] You’re expanding your growth mindset language.

It’s definitely worth working with a coach or trained therapist to learn how to tailor re-framing statements which can truly help you calm down.

Final Thoughts

We know, in our minds what we should do. When we’re in the thick of experiencing mental and emotional turmoil, it’s actually harder to implement what we know. In those moments, you’re unlikely to have capacity to think about what you need to do, let alone do it effectively to help you feel calmer.

The key is to practice so that when the storm is brewing, your toolkit and supplies are in easy access. You already know your safety drill well.

Knowing you have strategies and prepared processes up your sleeves helps you not only become better at calming yourself in amongst currently stressful situations. You have more confidence now to face more anxiety-provoking stressors because you have developed the resources to handle it.

How you invest time and energy into getting to know your triggers and thresholds will influence how effective these strategies will work for you. We’re not denying relaxing baths or regular massages are helpful, however these band-aid-like solutions don’t really confront the root causes.

If you truly want to turn your experience of your stress and anxiety symptoms around, dig deeper, do the groundwork and that which rattled your cage will quickly become a thing of the past.

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

Reference

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