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10 Things You Should Avoid On The Road To Pursuing Happiness

10 Things You Should Avoid On The Road To Pursuing Happiness

We all define happiness differently, because we all live our own lives and we experience our own set of situations. However, there are certain facts about happiness that we can all relate to, no matter how differently we live our lives and no matter what we have experienced. Here’s a secret. Happiness is not about doing anything special, but more about choosing what not to do. Here are 10 things you should avoid on the road to pursuing happiness.

1. Too many expectations

Sure, we all have expectations. We wish that everything will always work the way we plan them to be. But the truth is, things will not always be the way we expect them to be. We can’t expect everyone to want to do things as we do. Each person’s experience and way of dealing with things is unique, so to expect others to do things the way we do is unfair to them. When we have too many expectations, we are not going to be able to work with others, because it will often cause conflict with others, and that will only give us more trouble than a peace of mind. If we can put our expectations aside, allow things to be what they are, and become what they need to be, we will be so much happier.

2. Comparing ourselves with others

We all know people who often evaluate their happiness by comparing themselves with others. They compare their income, their possessions, their status, their intelligence, their appearances, their success and so on. Jealousy is the thief of joy.

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The truth is, there is no end to the comparison game. No matter who we compare ourselves to, there will always be someone out there who are better at doing what we did. Comparison puts our focus on the wrong thing and person. When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we are actually wasting our time and energy focusing on other peoples’ lives, rather than our own. Understand that we were not born to live other peoples’ lives. We can learn to enjoy what we are, rather than regretting what we aren’t.

3. Toxic people

Negative people are good at telling us what we are not capable of becoming, while influencing us to believe that what they say is true. They will not only drag our energy down, but also crush our dream by constantly reminding us of how impossible it is to get to where we want to be. Surrounding ourselves with these people will sabotage our happiness.

We can always choose who we want to spend our time with. We can spend our time with positive people who talks about ideas, who are willing to exchange information and who can provide us with useful knowledge. By choosing who we spend our time with wisely, we can gain so much wisdom which we can use to improve ourselves. Self-improvement plays a crucial part of our happiness, as we will find a better life’s purpose through the process.

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4. Holding grudges

People often carry on grudges while having moral battles with the one who has done them wrong, casting themselves as the righteous and the other person in the wrong. What they don’t realize is that they waste too much energy on it, and eventually put themselves into a darker side of the situation. Whatever damage that the person causes cannot be undone, therefore holding on to it is only going to gradually damage you. One of the keys to true happiness is forgiveness. Letting go is the key to true healing, and that is where true happiness eventually emerges.

5. Self importance

Self importance is a product of fear. People who believe in self importance are afraid of losing their ego over anything else. They view themselves as an extremely important person, and expect everyone around them to put them as a priority in any situation. These behaviors will eventually damage their relationship with the people around them, and leads to an isolated life, since people will try to stay away from them. If we all learn to have gratitude towards the people around us, we will learn that what and who we are today are somewhat influenced by them. We will learn to appreciate the people and things we have, and live a much happier life.

6. Suppressing emotions

Holding back on our emotions might lead to depression. We might think that showing our emotions would make us vulnerable, but the truth is, a truly strong person is able to show all their emotions because they are not afraid to acknowledge that they are only human, and that is is absolutely okay to feel. When we are open to our emotions, and are honest about them, we are setting ourselves free from the heavy emotional burden that are otherwise buried inside of us. A truly happy person allows themselves to feel every emotion and appreciate being alive. We have to experience all emotions in order for us to appreciate happiness.

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7. Worrying too much over the future

There are many other ways to secure our future than to be worrying over it. It is so important to value each moment of our lives since we only live once. To worry over the future takes away our precious moments, because we are too distracted to enjoy living the here and now. We can set goals and be productive to secure our future. Enjoying the here and now contributes so much to our happiness as it ensures that we don’t miss out on our little happy moments that accumulated to a fulfilling life.

8. Putting others down

Some people think that putting others down will boost themselves up. There is a saying that blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make your’s shine any brighter. People criticize and put others down so they can have the feeling of superiority, so they can hide their own insecurities. Judging others don’t define who they are, it only defines who we really are. Strong people don’t put others down, instead they lift them up. Instead of putting people down, we should inspire somebody, improve somebody else’s life for the better, and make someone smile.

9. Blaming

To blame our faults on someone else is a fairly convenient way to get away from trouble. But what we don’t know, is that when we put the responsibility on someone else, we are actually putting ourselves at risk of not having the control over our situation. We become the victim of our circumstances, since we are not able to manage our situation because we are not in control.

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We also lose the opportunity to learn from our problem and grow from it. When we stop blaming others, we begin to discover who we truly are. We will find peace within ourselves when we realize that our happiness are entirely our own responsibility. When we learn to overcome our problems with courage, we will find ourselves in a much peaceful, fulfilling and happier life.

10. Rushing

It is important to know that we are the ones who create the time pressure for ourselves. It might seem like we are often running out of time, but the truth is, if we manage our time efficiently, there is always enough time in the day. What we can do is to set priority to things that matter more over things that are less important to us. We can’t have all the time in the world, and we can’t do everything we want to do at the same time. But we can manage our time, set priorities, and try to get the other things done when we have the time and opportunity to do them.

Rushing over things is not only bad for our health, but often cause us more chaos than decent accomplishment towards our plan. Once we stop rushing through life, we will be amazed at how much more life we have time for. A healthy and well-balanced life is crucial in our pursue of happiness.

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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