Advertising
Advertising

10 Things Only People Who Don’t Like Parties Can Understand

10 Things Only People Who Don’t Like Parties Can Understand

Why are parties considered almost an obligatory activity for you to have a good time? If this question bothers you, then you will understand what truly makes a good night out — parties not included. There are loads of things you can do to enjoy yourself. Standing around trying to talk and socialize with the inevitable drink in one hand does not have to be one of them.

People look at you strangely when you try to tell them that you don’t like parties, that they can be exhausting and even stressful. In their minds, they only visualize glinting lights on glasses, people laughing, music, dancing, making new friends, staying up till the small hours of the morning and generally having a fantastic time. If they only knew what you have to go through to make sure that you avoid them at all costs.

If you don’t like partying, here are 10 things you can understand and relate to.

Advertising

1. You are not a hermit or recluse

You have your own circles of friends and you are not particularly keen on getting to know loads of new ones. You also enjoy being with your friends for a night at the cinema or dining out in the latest ethnic restaurant. You are not a loner because you know the value of being in the company of close friends.

2. You have other ideas about having a good time

You don’t want to explain to anyone (and why should you?) that there are other ways of having a good time. Have they not heard about books, films, gardening, yoga, or swimming? Which commandment says “Thou shalt have a good time only at parties,” you wonder.

3. You want to relax

Parties are hard work, so forget about relaxation. When you are dragged kicking and screaming to a party, this is usually what happens: you see your friends and maybe chat with them. Nothing new there. Then, maybe you want to be a little bit more adventurous and socialize more broadly. So, you have to work out opening lines, think up interesting topics, and areas of common interest. Then there is the music, chaos, standing up for long periods, trying to get another drink, and finding a chair to sit on. This is exhausting and you wish you had never accepted the invitation.

Advertising

4. You like your beauty sleep

It is wonderful to go to bed and sleep soundly. No getting home late, no mad searching for taxis, which by this point are as scarce as hen’s teeth. Nothing like your own nightcap, a warm bed, and zero worries about how many hours of sleep you’ll get. Sheer bliss!

5. You don’t like drinking

Why does everyone sort of frown when you say that you don’t drink? Is there some magical ingredient in alcohol which makes you a social and fun-loving animal? The joy of never having a hangover the next day is indescribable. Once was more than enough!

6. You feel like you’re taking an exam

Parties are like an examination in social skills. But this is supposed to be about having a great time, isn’t it? No way. Now you have to keep the conversation going and then you have to think of an exit strategy. You ask yourself why it feels as if your social skills are being assessed. You begin to feel like an alien because you have only clicked with one person in the last ten you have met.

Advertising

7. You hate having to circulate

You think nostalgically about sitting round the dinner table with some close friends and having a relaxed chat. At parties, there is no such thing because you have to circulate. The problem here is that it is a hell of a job to find one interesting person to talk to. It seems that you have to keep mixing and circulating and sometimes you never find that person. You would have a better chance of winning the lottery.

8. You find parties rowdy and noisy

The noise level is usually unbearable as the lives and souls of the party get going. Miley Cyrus gets louder and people get drunker, rowdier, and noisier. This is another reason why you hate parties. You must have been crazy to accept this time. The next time, you will be at home watching the end of a really good film and maybe chatting about it with some friends.

9. You find quieter parties too intense

You know the ones, those smaller parties where people are intent on talking about politics, philosophy, and the greater questions of life. They break up into small groups and it is impossible to escape. But you already have your own ideas on these topics and are not prepared to give a TED talk late at night. These parties can get very intense and sometimes end with argumentative people getting heated. You want to curl up in bed, but you’ve already been trapped.

Advertising

10. You are tired of the introvert and extrovert labels

You’re tired of having to explain that most people are neither totally introverted or extroverted. It is rather like a spectrum and you just happen to be nearer the quieter end of the scale. People are wired differently, so you wonder what the fuss is all about. In addition, you are not prepared to go to parties because you feel you should do so or because there is too much peer pressure.

Let us know in the comments how you escape parties and how you still manage to enjoy yourself!

Featured photo credit: Newbury Birthday Party /Gareth Williams via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

Write A Personal Mission Statement to Achieve Your Goal More Easily 10 Reasons Why People Are Unmotivated (And How to Be Motivated) 7 Things You Can Do to Deal with Low-Energy Days 40 Powerful Productivity Quotes From Highly Successful People 10 Simple Morning Exercises to Make You Feel Great All Day

Trending in Communication

1 5 Real Relationship Goals You Should Actually Strive Toward 2 When You Learn A Second Language, These 7 Amazing Things Will Happen To You 3 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy 4 7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language 5 How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

Advertising

1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

Advertising

3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

Advertising

It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

Advertising

Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next