Advertising
Advertising

I’m Alone But Not Lonely: Making the Most of Being Alone

I’m Alone But Not Lonely: Making the Most of Being Alone

There’s a common misconception in today’s society that being alone is inherently dreadful. The advent of cell phones and the Internet have made it easier than ever to connect with each other, so even when you’re physically by yourself, you never have to truly be alone. But what’s wrong with having some time to yourself? Unfortunately, we’re growing so accustomed to being around or connected to other people that we don’t realize the importance of “me time.” When you actually do get some time alone, it’s imperative that you make the most of it.

1. Understand you’re good enough

Like I said, we’re constantly being fed the idea that we need others around us in order to be happy. That’s simply not true. You’re absolutely good enough all by yourself. You don’t need others around you to tell you you’re living life correctly; just live. Take up a new hobby. Set and accomplish goals. Do what you want to do, not what others make you think you should be doing.

Advertising

2. Be an observer

Take the time to observe the world around you. So many of us, when we find ourselves alone in public, tend to take out our phone or iPad to make it look like we’re busy. Why do we need to be busy all the time? Take some time to listen to the birds, or enjoy the laughter of a small child. Experience life, rather than zoning out playing some time-wasting game while you wait for your train to take you somewhere packed with people.

3. Talk and listen to yourself

The only person who really knows you is yourself. Listen to your inner voice. If you feel like you’re just going through the motions, try to find out what it is you really want out of life. When you’re around others you constantly have to put on a facade, and aren’t free to have the deep inner monologues that will lead you to actual happiness. Embrace yourself while you’re alone; it’s the best time you have to do so.

Advertising

4. Cherish interactions

We spend so much time around others that we sometimes take it all for granted. When we’re alone, we want other people around; but when we’re out and about, all we want is to be back in bed. It’s important to take the time to really appreciate everyone you meet, from the cashier at the supermarket to the concierge of your apartment complex. Embrace these moments when they arise, and you’ll find they stick with you when you are alone.

5. Don’t waste your alone time

Like I said before, a lot of our time alone is spent waiting for the next big thing to happen. Don’t wait; make it happen. Instead of playing some silly iPhone game, take a book along with you. Instead of watching the same sitcom reruns day after day, start a new hobby. Be a producer, not a consumer. By doing so, you’ll find the next big thing in your life will happen much sooner than if you were to wait for it to come.

Advertising

6. Stay busy

This goes along with the last piece of advice. Don’t become stagnant or complacent. When you’re alone, you’re free to do whatever you want. But do you really want to spend that time laying around contributing nothing to society, or to your own well-being? Find a part-time job, or go to the gym. Do something to improve yourself. Try something new that you never imagined yourself doing in a million years. You might end up finding a talent you never knew you had that could change the course of the rest of your life.

7. Make plans

Decide how you want your future to play out. Plan out your day, week, month, and year, and get moving toward the goals you’ve set for yourself. When you’re alone, the only person who can get in your way is yourself. Take care of your immediate, short-term goals first, but make sure that you take steps toward achieving your long-term goals every day until you reach them. Of course, after you’ve accomplished those goals, set the bar even higher. There’s no telling how far you can go if you keep pushing.

Advertising

8. Enjoy the quiet

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with sitting back and enjoying the silence once in a while. Our busy world is also a demanding one. Between work, family, and friends, it’s incredibly tough to actually get time to ourselves. We need to enjoy these fleeting moments when they arise. Make the most of your alone time by reflecting on your past and looking toward the future. Meditate and recharge, knowing it might be a while until you get some peace and quiet again.

Featured photo credit: Solitude / Premnath Thirumalaisamy via farm9.staticflickr.com

More by this author

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience 20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One 8 Signs of a Man Who Will Never Ever Stop Loving You 8 Things To Remember When Dating Someone With A Guarded Heart 14 Signs You’re Not Drinking Enough Water

Trending in Communication

1 7 Ways To Deal With Negative People 2 How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward 3 What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships 4 How To Stop Negative Thoughts from Killing Your Confidence 5 This 4-Year Old Girl’s Explanation On the Problem with New Year’s Resolutions Is Everything You Need

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

Advertising

In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

Advertising

But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

Advertising

5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

Advertising

You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

Read Next