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I’m Alone But Not Lonely: Making the Most of Being Alone

I’m Alone But Not Lonely: Making the Most of Being Alone

There’s a common misconception in today’s society that being alone is inherently dreadful. The advent of cell phones and the Internet have made it easier than ever to connect with each other, so even when you’re physically by yourself, you never have to truly be alone. But what’s wrong with having some time to yourself? Unfortunately, we’re growing so accustomed to being around or connected to other people that we don’t realize the importance of “me time.” When you actually do get some time alone, it’s imperative that you make the most of it.

1. Understand you’re good enough

Like I said, we’re constantly being fed the idea that we need others around us in order to be happy. That’s simply not true. You’re absolutely good enough all by yourself. You don’t need others around you to tell you you’re living life correctly; just live. Take up a new hobby. Set and accomplish goals. Do what you want to do, not what others make you think you should be doing.

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2. Be an observer

Take the time to observe the world around you. So many of us, when we find ourselves alone in public, tend to take out our phone or iPad to make it look like we’re busy. Why do we need to be busy all the time? Take some time to listen to the birds, or enjoy the laughter of a small child. Experience life, rather than zoning out playing some time-wasting game while you wait for your train to take you somewhere packed with people.

3. Talk and listen to yourself

The only person who really knows you is yourself. Listen to your inner voice. If you feel like you’re just going through the motions, try to find out what it is you really want out of life. When you’re around others you constantly have to put on a facade, and aren’t free to have the deep inner monologues that will lead you to actual happiness. Embrace yourself while you’re alone; it’s the best time you have to do so.

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4. Cherish interactions

We spend so much time around others that we sometimes take it all for granted. When we’re alone, we want other people around; but when we’re out and about, all we want is to be back in bed. It’s important to take the time to really appreciate everyone you meet, from the cashier at the supermarket to the concierge of your apartment complex. Embrace these moments when they arise, and you’ll find they stick with you when you are alone.

5. Don’t waste your alone time

Like I said before, a lot of our time alone is spent waiting for the next big thing to happen. Don’t wait; make it happen. Instead of playing some silly iPhone game, take a book along with you. Instead of watching the same sitcom reruns day after day, start a new hobby. Be a producer, not a consumer. By doing so, you’ll find the next big thing in your life will happen much sooner than if you were to wait for it to come.

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6. Stay busy

This goes along with the last piece of advice. Don’t become stagnant or complacent. When you’re alone, you’re free to do whatever you want. But do you really want to spend that time laying around contributing nothing to society, or to your own well-being? Find a part-time job, or go to the gym. Do something to improve yourself. Try something new that you never imagined yourself doing in a million years. You might end up finding a talent you never knew you had that could change the course of the rest of your life.

7. Make plans

Decide how you want your future to play out. Plan out your day, week, month, and year, and get moving toward the goals you’ve set for yourself. When you’re alone, the only person who can get in your way is yourself. Take care of your immediate, short-term goals first, but make sure that you take steps toward achieving your long-term goals every day until you reach them. Of course, after you’ve accomplished those goals, set the bar even higher. There’s no telling how far you can go if you keep pushing.

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8. Enjoy the quiet

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with sitting back and enjoying the silence once in a while. Our busy world is also a demanding one. Between work, family, and friends, it’s incredibly tough to actually get time to ourselves. We need to enjoy these fleeting moments when they arise. Make the most of your alone time by reflecting on your past and looking toward the future. Meditate and recharge, knowing it might be a while until you get some peace and quiet again.

Featured photo credit: Solitude / Premnath Thirumalaisamy via farm9.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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