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15 Things To Expect In Your Third Trimester

15 Things To Expect In Your Third Trimester

Ah, pregnancy! The miracle of life! For those of us fortunate enough to experience it, we know it to be one of the most magical, difficult, surreal and challenging passages of life. Just as no two women are identical, no two pregnancies are the same: some women breeze through pregnancy, whereas others spend their 40 weeks trying to muster the strength to get out of bed every day.

By the time you’ve reached the 28 week mark, you and your baby have officially made it through two thirds of your pregnancy. Congratulations! But although the finish line may be in sight, your body and your baby’s body still have plenty of work to do preparing the both of you for what lies ahead: labor, delivery, and the rest of your lives together!

My pregnancy was a text-book study of (almost) everything that could possibly happen in those blessed 40 weeks. Seriously. Short of gestational diabetes and mood swings, I experienced every pregnancy symptom I (and my doctors) had ever heard of. Whilst most women usually experience a handful of these symptoms to varying degrees, for some women (like me) they can be more severe. Whereas, for others, they may be non-existent!

If at any time during your pregnancy you are concerned by what you are experiencing in your body, be sure to check with your health practitioner as soon as you can. Here are some of the things that can happen during the third trimester…

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Fatigue

Imagine carrying around a 4-5kg sack of potatoes for a day… no wait a minute- you don’t have to! That’s technically what you’re doing already, except it’s a sack of amniotic fluid with a baby inside. Although our bodies are designed not to calculate the extra weight of the rising bun in our oven, we are still under the strain of carting it about. Add to that the many changes and transformations still going on inside of you, the pressures of living your day to day life, and the fact that you might be having trouble sleeping (from the awkwardness of your bump or the need to use the bathroom every 45 minutes)- and you’ve got a sure-fire recipe for sleepiness! This is one symptom that will carry on, perhaps for a long while even after the birth, when you have a newborn to take care of, so it’s probably best to try sleep as much as you can, or at least put your feet up and relax at every opportunity.

Stretch Marks

It’s undeniable. People who previously hesitated before congratulating you now do so without restraint as your bump is more and more prominent by the day. In the last trimester, most of baby’s internal organs and systems are formed, so now your little one is mostly concentrating on growing. Stretch marks, basically stripes across parts of your body that have been stretched over a short period of time, affect roughly 80% of pregnant women, and can break out across your belly, thighs, arms, breasts and bottom. They can also appear overnight. I had a single little stretch mark under my massive belly, which I found quite cute. I woke up one morning and to my horror discovered seventeen more of them streaking their way across my bump. They aren’t painful, but can get a little itchy if your skin gets too dry.

Unfortunately, skin elasticity is mostly genetic, so there’s not much that can be done to truly avoid getting them. The good news is that they do fade with time and become barely noticeable after a year or so. Word to the wise- spending time in the sun can dry out your skin, increasing your risk of getting stretch marks and causing any marks you already have to darken and become more prominent. For this reason, it’s best to avoid tanning your belly, chest and thighs whilst pregnant. Read more about stretch marks here.

Varicose Veins

As your baby grows, their weight will put pressure on some of the major veins that carry blood between your legs and your heart. This can result in blood pooling, usually in your extremities, which can cause dark, spider-like veins, called varicose veins, to appear sprawling around your ankles, knees and thighs. Compression tights and stockings can help improve circulation. Otherwise, these veins usually disappear within a few months of giving birth. Should some linger, there are surgeries that can be done to get rid of them. Read more about varicose veins here.

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Hemorrhoids

Hemorrhoids are actually a form of varicose vein that crop up in and on the outside of your rectum due to poor circulation. They can be very painful, and cause bleeding when you go to the toilet, but they too usually disappear within a few months of giving birth (although the pushing in delivery can make them worse). There are treatments that can help ease the discomfort they cause, as can special cushions. Read more about hemorrhoids here.

Heartburn, Re-flux and a Decrease in Appetite

Remember the days when you couldn’t keep anything down? And remember the days following that when there was no fridge big enough to hold all the food you were craving? Well, surprisingly, you might find yourself having come full circle in the third trimester. As baby grows and takes up more room in your belly, your expanding uterus will put pressure on most of your internal organs, especially your stomach and intestines. This may shrink the amount of food you feel like eating; you may even lose a few pounds in the last two months. This increased pressure is also partly responsible for other digestive troubles, such as heartburn, acid re-flux, and even bouts of vomiting. Read more here.

Water Retention

In these last few months, you may find yourself packing on the pounds, even though you might be not be increasing your food intake. It’s probably due to your body retaining more water and, once again, poor circulation is to blame. Oedema, the official term for swelling, usually occurs in the feet, ankles and legs, but can happen all over your body, especially in hot weather. Compression tights, sitting or lying down with your legs raised above your heart, and massaging your feet in icy cold water can all provide relief. Reminding yourself that it doesn’t last forever, and that you’ll deflate within a few days of giving birth can also help.

However, should find yourself swelling up suddenly and drastically within a matter of days, contact your medical practitioner so that they can keep an eye on you, as severe oedema is also an early symptom of pre-eclampsia. Otherwise, be sure to drink plenty of water and moisturize your skin regularly to avoid the appearance of stretch marks. Read more about oedema here.

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Incontinence

It’s not just your digestive system that’s under pressure from baby, your bladder is too! As gravity does its thing the entire amniotic sac/baby combo weighs down heavily on your pelvic organs, causing you to rush (or waddle at high speed) to the nearest bathroom at every opportunity. You might also find yourself having a few little ‘accidents’ when you cough, sneeze or laugh. This is due to the stretching and subsequent weakening of your perineal muscles- the hammock like muscular system between your legs that holds up your internal organs. Kegels exercises can help strengthen this area, and are crucial for getting your entire body back into shape postpartum. Read more about kegels here.

Aches and Pains

That growing baby can also take its toll on your back, hips and other joints. The sheer weight of carrying an extra 4-5kgs can lead to some seriously uncomfortable muscular tugs and pulls, usually between the small of your back down to the bottom of your spine. Pains in and around the bottom of your bulging belly are also caused by ligaments being stretched to accommodate your growing bump, and are officially (and appropriately) called Round Ligament Pain. Luckily, your body is secreting the hormone relaxin, to relax tension in your joints and make it easier to carry such a heavy burden. Alternatively, you can relieve some of your aches and pains by soaking in a warm, but not too hot, bath, having a massage from a certified, prenatal masseuse, or wrapping your belly to take the pressure off your back. This YouTube tutorial shows how.

Nesting Instinct

Weirdly, amidst the sleep deprivation, heartburn and back pain, you may find yourself buzzing with energy- sometimes at the weirdest times. The nesting instinct is basically just that- an irresistible urge to ‘nest, or make your environment (and yourself) ready to receive baby. Some women wake up in the middle of the night to get through piles of ironing, others rearrange their homes every week for two months. Repainting, reupholstering, cleaning, sorting, scrubbing… I personally disinfected every kitchen cupboard and appliance with a fine toothbrush, and scrubbed my sinks and bathtub within an inch of their lives! This instinct, while surreal to you and anyone living with you, is perfectly natural and a good sign that all is in order with your hormones as baby is on its way.

Leaky Breasts

Your tummy isn’t the only thing expanding in preparation for baby’s arrival into this world- your baby’s first (and favorite) food source is also getting into gear. Your breasts may have deflated somewhat in the second trimester, but they will most likely be back at their biggest and bulkiest in these last few months. You might even find them squirting or leaking a little milk when stimulated or squashed. If your breast don’t leak before the birth, there’s nothing to worry about, as most women’s milk only comes in after the baby has been born. Read more about changes in your breasts here.

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Impatience and frustration

I have yet to meet anybody who loved every minute of being pregnant. All of the women I talk to admit to it being a long, loooooong process. Especially towards the end, when the thrill and novelty of the experience has worn off, and you find yourself too heavy to move around, too uncomfortable to sleep, and too nauseous to eat. Just remember: this too shall pass, and within a matter of weeks!

People’s remarks

An interesting pregnancy phenomenon: when a women is with child, her body seems to become public property- to be discussed, scrutinized and even touched, sometimes by complete strangers! I cannot count how many passersby stroked or patted my belly, each with a piece of advice or prediction about my baby’s gender. Many people also seem to lose all sensitivity, so be prepared to field comments on your weight gain: “You look like you’ve swallowed a beach ball!”, or inability to birth the baby soon enough, “You’re still here? What are you waiting for??” Cultivate a standard ‘smile and nod’ reaction, or feel free to tell people when they’re bothering you. You’ll find that most people won’t take offence. You’re pregnant, you can get away with quite a bit!

Dropping

As your due date approaches, you might feel and notice your bump hanging lower than usual. This is, very simply, because that’s exactly what it’s doing. In anything from a few weeks to a few days before labor, baby will realize that it’s time to make its grand debut, and will engage its little head in preparation for birth.

A Few Trips to the Hospital or Birthing Center

If this is your first baby, chances are you’ll make a few wrong calls about when it’s on its way. Outside of emergency symptoms (such as your water breaking or bleeding), first time mothers can spend many hours, even days in labor. Labor pains are easily confused, especially if you don’t know what they feel like! Gas, indigestion, an upset tummy or even just a vigorous kick from your little munchkin can all be mistaken for contractions. Hospitals advise that parents only come in when the contractions are regular and at a certain interval, usually 4-5 minutes apart. As soon as contractions start, it’s best to call your doctor to see what they advise, otherwise you risk making the journey just to be sent back home which, even in the stages of early labor, is very frustrating and disheartening. Read more here.
Best of all, at the end of this long journey, when your body has worked hard crafting a living being inside of you, the greatest thing you can expect is the moment that makes it all worthwhile: when you hold your beautiful, squidgy little baby in your arms for the first time!

Featured photo credit: Juanedc via flickr.com

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Published on June 24, 2020

How to Be a Successful And Happy Stay at Home Mom

How to Be a Successful And Happy Stay at Home Mom

I can’t think of a more rewarding job, nor a more challenging one than being a Stay-at-Home-Mom (SAHM)! There is no shortage of opinion, however, as to the pros and cons of going on active duty until your kid/s turns 18 and flies off to college.

When you choose a career such as this, you’re in it for the long haul. But by the end of your journey, you’ll be decorated with every possible medal of honor. And may I say, indisputably deserved.

Think about it: a SAHM is a queen. She has one of the most important jobs of all—managing the castle, all that it entails, and its inhabitants.

For most of you, your home is your castle. It is where your most valuable possessions reside—your loved ones, your pets, your memories, and the special items you’ve collected over the years. It is where you feel comfortable, uninhibited, and free to be yourself. It is where you dine, sleep, and relax. It is everything!

Being the queen of your castle is like being the president. What other position carries as much clout other than being the president?

Taking care of that castle and its occupants is no easy task; it is a highly-ranked position that deserves every available merit.

Yes, staying at home can be a big decision, especially if you have a career and have been used to praise, socialization, and a regular paycheck. You might even think that if you decide to stay home, it is a “step down,” a demotion of sorts. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Why Being a Stay-at-Home Mom Is an Important Career

Being a SAHM requires wearing a litany of hats. You’re a full-time babysitter, a Lyft driver without tips or 5-star ratings, a nurse, a chef, a behavioral therapist, and most importantly, a teacher.

Teachable moments abound. You get to teach your children all the important things you want them to learn. Sure, there are no days off or summer vacations in store for decades, depending on the age of your little one/s, but imagine what amazing human beings you are helping to create!

Being stellar SAHMs are big shoes to fill. Not just anyone is up to the task; not everyone has the patience or the stamina it requires. Think triathlon here, but more—much more.

To put it simply, being a SAHM is one of the most important careers in the world. Let’s take a look at why this is so.

1. Your Child Is Always With Someone Who Loves Them

When your children are home with you, they are loved 24/7. They are happy and comforted.

In a daycare facility, the most important person in your life will be with someone who is just doing their job. They’re there for the paycheck, not because they love your child.

As you know, there are good and bad employees. You won’t necessarily know if your child is with a great employee or with one who is half paying attention to one of the most highly-treasured people in your life.

2. You Don’t Have to Deal With Office Stress and Deadlines

Working outside of your castle generally demands that you be present wherever it is you work—a hospital, a warehouse, a car dealership, an office, etc.,—when they want you to be there.

There are petty fights, nasty gossip, stressful projects, bad bosses, jealous co-workers, etc. You might often find yourself looking at the clock and waiting for the weekend.

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If you’re a SAHM, you make the rules! That alone should cause you great joy.

3. You Get to Witness Each of Your Child’s Milestones Firsthand

Think about how many milestones working moms miss. As a SAHM, you get to be there. You get to take those pictures, those videos, and see your little one grow up—in person, not via Nanny Cam! And if you’re children are middle-school-age and older, you get to keep an eye on them when they get home from school.

In an article in the American Journal of Nursing Science, it states that:[1]

“Economic and social pressures are forcing more parents into the workplace at a time when children appear to most need adult guidance and supervision. These children, in turn, face a growing number of problems such as physical and sexual abuse, crime and delinquency, depression and suicide, drug and alcohol abuse, emotional and behavioral problems, learning difficulties, school attendance problems, domestic violence, pregnancy, abortion, and venereal disease.

Many “latchkey” children experience stressful and even dangerous situations without ready access to adult guidance and support. It is estimated that as many as 10 million children care for themselves before or after school. Many latchkey kids begin their self-care responsibilities at about 8 years of age.”

4. Your Child Gets to Grow Up in Their Castle With a Queen Who Loves Them

When you’re home with your child, you provide love and comfort. That makes for a happy child and eventually, a happy adult. True, some adults were raised with their queen and don’t fare well, but in those rare cases, there are other factors involved, too numerous to list here.

In general, children do better when they know they are loved and cared for. And for children, the presence that would create stability and warm-fuzzy feelings is Mom!

5. Your Child Will Grow Up Feeling Happy, Safe, and Secure

Personally, I grew up with a SAHM. My mom was always around. We knew we could count on her for anything. She’d keep the house clean, cook great meals, and take us swimming in the summers.

I have very happy memories. I always felt secure and loved. And when my dad would get home after work, the family was complete. Fun times! If you are a good, caring mom, the best gift you can give your children is YOU!

Creating happy children is one of the biggest successes you can experience.

6. Your Child’s School Performance Will Improve

Research shows that there are excellent benefits to children staying at home, such as an increase in school performance. Those benefits extend way beyond the early years of that child’s life.

Did you know that homeschoolers generally score 15 to 30% points above public school students on a standardized test?

In the article, Does Being a Stay at Home Home Benefit Your Kids?, it states:[2]

“A British study in the ‘Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health’ reported that children of stay-at home-mothers are more likely to participate in organized sports than those whose mothers worked, possibly because their mothers had more time to take them to sports practices.

Other studies have found that children of stay-at-home moms were exposed to fewer germs and suffered from fewer illnesses. In addition, stay-at-home moms can have more time to prepare healthier foods and they rely less on convenience foods, partially for financial reasons.”

It’s Normal to Feel Iffy at First

Even after having read the six above-mentioned amazing reasons to stay at home, you might still feel iffy about it. Not because you don’t love your children but because you feel you will lose yourself—your identity.

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It’s understandable to feel that way. Shifting your perspective is key here. Staying at home doesn’t have to go hand-in-hand with losing your identity. You simply add to it; it’s another layer, another facet of who you are.

In the beginning, you may need to make some adjustments, but isn’t life, in general, an adjustment? Things are happening every day that oblige us to change course and go with the flow.

How to Be a Successful Stay-at-Home Mom

If you decide, that yes, you are going to stay home with your child but aren’t sure how to navigate the new waters without completely losing yourself, allow me to offer you some ideas that will make your experience an exceptionally happy one.

By following through with the suggestions below, you will feel successful, happy, and ready to tackle anything that comes your way.

Here are some tips on how to be a successful stay-at-home mom:

1. Wake Up Early!

Some SAHMs complain that they don’t have enough time for themselves. Valid point. Try getting up early, before the kids do.[3] This is the first thing that you should keep in mind if you want to be a successful stay-at-home mom.

Being up before everyone else offers you alone time to get some personal things done. The house is quiet and peaceful—the perfect setting to do what you need to do. That could be taking an uninterrupted warm shower, reading passages from your favorite book, having a cup of coffee while streaming one of your favorite shows or movies, writing emails, etc.

Waking up early offers you many opportunities to do what you need to do so that you don’t feel as though you’re missing out.

2. Dress Up!

No, I don’t mean dress up like you’re going out dancing, but you don’t have to be in your pajamas or sweats all day, either. How you dress makes a difference in your mood—on how you feel. So, dress casually but nicely.

In an article by Corina, How to be a Stylish Stay at Home Mom Without Compromising Comfort, she writes, “You don’t need a ton of clothes! Stick with what fits you well and makes you feel pretty without much fuss.”[4]

You can be at home and still dress to impress. You will feel so much better about yourself.

3. Exercise and Have Fun With Your Kids!

Taking care of your little ones doesn’t mean you give up on yourself. Take some time during the day to exercise. It will keep you strong, toned, and happy.

Have the children join you, and make it amusing by playing some fun workout music. They’ll use up a lot of energy and enjoy the time with you simultaneously.

Here’s an example of a mom who’s having a lot of fun with her kids as well as entertaining her audience. Watch Sophie Ellis-Bextor on YouTube.[5]

What a fun thing to do with your kids!

4. Schedule Weekly Outings!

To add excitement to your week, plan a weekly outing to the zoo, the botanical gardens, the library, the park, etc.

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Of course, at this point, the outings depend on personal safety and each state’s guidelines, so you’ll have to check on that. But bike rides around the neighborhood and picnics will work just as well.

If it’s too difficult to get out for whatever reason, there are many fun things you can do at home, pandemic or not. You can schedule a Stay At Home FUN DAY! Making a fun environment for your children is important in being a successful stay-at-home mom.

In an article by Andrea Browne Taylor, 16 Free or Cheap Things to Do With Your Kids During the COVID-19 Pandemic, she lists many activities to do with your kids.[6] Even I want to do these!

5. Establish a Break

During the day, it’s important to set aside some time to do something quiet; perhaps set aside 20-30 minutes to read, color, etc.

During this break, each person can do something they personally enjoy. Encourage your kids to get creative. Research shows that creative activities, such as art, are wonderful for children.

In her article, Why Art and Creativity are Important, Paula Bernstein states,[7]

“Fostering creativity won’t just increase your child’s chances of becoming the next Picasso. You’re also helping him develop mentally, socially, and emotionally, says Ecklund-Flores.”

And for you, pick up that hobby you put on the back burner. Whether it is painting, crocheting, knitting, writing, whatever, use that time to get some creative YOU time in! You are going to feel so much happier and accomplished afterward.

6. Make Your Castle a Beautiful Living Space!

Decorate your home in a way that is soothing to you. Choose the colors, the decor, the furniture, the pictures, the artwork, the plants, etc. that make you feel at peace in your own castle.

Play music that is both calming and energizing. Living in a space you love and find comforting makes all the difference in the world. If you create a happy environment, you’ll feel happier, and so will your children.

For ways to make your home a happier place, check out Olivia Heath’s article, 8 ways to make your home a happier place.[8]

7. Set Up a Routine!

Most people respond well to a routine. For instance, from 8 – 9, breakfast and cartoons; from 9 – 12. chores and homework; from 12 – 1:00 p.m., lunch. After that, nap time, if appropriate, or personal time.

The routine, of course, will be based on the age of your children and your own personal views. According to a Skilled at Life article:

Setting up a routine “creates structure in our lives. a daily routine provides structure and a logical sequence in our lives. It provides the framework within which we live our lives and conduct our daily activities. Soon we become familiar and comfortable with what we have to do each day. It allows us to experience a flow to our day.”((Skilled at Life: 18 Reasons Why a Daily Routine Is So Important))

As a SAHM, you’ll benefit from the routine and take comfort in knowing what to expect. This is the time for you to incorporate anything into your daily routine that makes you feel relaxed, happy, and stress-free.

8. Meet Up With Other SAHMs

Meeting up with other SAHMs will provide you with support. Additionally, the kids get to socialize with other children and you with other like-minded moms.

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Not working outside the home sometimes can feel isolating, so talking to other adults is a nice treat. Below, I included a link to help you find just the group for you! Check it out.

9. Hire a Babysitter!

Sometimes you might like to go out with friends, get pampered at a spa, or what-have-you. A babysitter or a trusted family member can help with that.

These little breaks can be the fuel you need to keep going. It’s like getting a mini-vacation. It’s revitalizing. Once you get home from your spa treatment or the movie you saw with your friends, you will have renewed energy. You can now refocus on your castle tasks. And remember, a happy mom, makes for a happy child!

Final Thoughts

As a SAHM, you might make the mistake of thinking that if you don’t bring home a paycheck, you’re not valuable or helping with the household expenses. You’re actually helping more than you think.

You don’t need a paycheck to add value to who you are. You are already one of the most valued members of society. You’re watching over human lives—your children—making sure they are safe, healthy, and happy. And as far as expenses go, you will be saving on daycare costs and transportation expenses.

If after reading all these amazing things about being a SAHM, you’re still conflicted, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s not for everyone.

As I mentioned above, staying at home can be challenging. And in all honesty, it can have its drawbacks. That’s also why I provided you here some tips on how to be a successful stay-at-home mom.

For example, being at home with your children all the time can make you feel a little depressed or bored. You might not feel like you’re being stimulated by life or adult-like situations. Maybe some of the hobbies you used to enjoy get neglected, or you might feel financially dependent on your husband.

Furthermore, you might think you’ll lose all your abilities; the opportunity to utilize the educational training you received. Or maybe you miss the ritual of getting dressed, driving to work, and being around other people who are doing similar things. That’s all valid.

Only you can make that decision. While you’re thinking about it, though, let me remind you that as a SAHM you will be missing some things. But you’ll be gaining so much more.

Doing a presentation at work may get you kudos and accolades, but hearing the words, “I love you, mommy” is priceless. Watching your children grow up before your very eyes? Priceless. Making sure they’re safe and sound with you loving them all day? Priceless.

There is no other job in the world with those kinds of benefits. As a SAHM, you are the heart and soul of your castle.

Remember, too, that your children will grow up. You won’t have to wait until you’re 65 to retire. And although your job as Mom will never be done, you’ll be able to do many things that you didn’t get to do while on active duty.

When you are “done,” you will have the satisfaction of having accomplished an amazing feat. You can feel proud because success like that isn’t easy to come by.

The title of Stay-at-Home-Mom, despite what any group might say, is a powerful and inspiring one.

Are you up to the challenge?

Want to know more about being a successful stay-at-home mom and its benefits? Check these out:

More Tips for Stay-at-Home Moms

Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

Reference

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