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10 Reasons Why Middle Children Are The Strongest

10 Reasons Why Middle Children Are The Strongest

Being the middle child is no walk in the park. You may never notice because they don’t get nearly as much attention, that’s for sure. But that’s okay because this sets them apart from society as stronger individuals. A middle child becomes more independent and appreciative of the little things that life has to offer. Here are some reasons why the middle child is the strongest of them all.

1. They know how to solve problems efficiently

Siblings always argue, sometimes even fist fight! However, middle children are always caught in between the reoccurring drama. They’re often the “go to” expert on the subject that’s being debated. The reason why is because it’s usually the youngest and the oldest fighting. They come to the middle child in hopes for backup but the middle one knows better.

They take in both sides of the argument and construct a statement that’s so powerful, emotionally, and logically, that it usually ends the argument right there and then. The other siblings have no choice but to say “wow, that makes a lot of sense, you’re right.” The world needs problem solvers which means the world needs middle children.

2. They are risk takers

The other siblings are so used to getting all the attention that they can’t get anything done without it. This is advantageous to the middle child because they usually come out ahead. They go on to become courageous risk takers. They don’t feel the need to seek out approval from their teachers or parents. They just go out and do things at a level so high, others can’t help but be impressed.

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3. They are kind and intimidating

Growing up, the middle child had no choice but to stand up to their older sibling and be kind to the younger. The oldest child always lets the power get to them. The idea that they have to play “big brother” to not just one, but two younger children, can make anyone’s head big. But the middle child recognizes when power is left unchecked because they too, have to play “big brother” to the youngest. Knowing this, the middle child would often have to intimidate the oldest to back off when they were acting out of line.

But they only use intimidation when they have to. Deep down, they’re very nice people. The reason why is because they get to practice being nice too! The youngest is usually weaker and the middle child understands what it’s like because they have an older sibling too. With this knowledge, they treat the youngest as they would want to be treated by the oldest. They truly live the “treat others how you would like to be treated” lifestyle. But never take their kindness for weakness, they have practice on both sides of the spectrum.

4. They are better with money

As a child, the youngest and the oldest are usually the spoiled ones. They get to spend mommy and daddy’s money in virtually limitless amounts. The middle.. they take what they can get but they’re smarter when spending. They don’t have the luxury of splurging because they know it’ll be a while before their parents reward them again. Knowing this, they learn to save and spend money on things that matter.

They judge items based on the quality, not quantity. They aren’t interested in trends because they know they’re usually bad investments. They’re not used to overspending so they know how to budget, they understand that less is more. This behavior may land them on the higher end of their credit score. It also means they may go on to become wealthy investors and savvy entrepreneurs.

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5. They are usually smarter

Middle children have the luxury of learning from the oldest sibling. But they are also stuck with teaching the youngest. However, this isn’t a bad thing. Being taught something is an effective form of learning but according to psychologists, so is teaching! The youngest is usually only being taught while the oldest is usually only teaching. But the middle child usually does both! So they work their brain out much more.

This first hand experience gives them an edge on life. They see things from both perspectives and use these skills to excel in their school, job, sports or business!

6. They are the decision maker

While their younger and older siblings are usually arguing about which path is the shortest way home, the middle child is usually analyzing the logical route. Since the youngest and the oldest can’t come to an agreement, the middle child usually ends up having the final say. The direction they take as a group usually lies in the hands of the middle sibling, their vote is the one that matters.

Knowing this, they never participate in the emotional attacks on one another. They already expect to be the decision maker so instead they back away from the noise and make a logical decision.

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7. They have no limits

Since the middle child is often neglected, they have no choice but to rely on their self when making decisions of their own. They become codependent and take lots of risks. With all this risk taking comes a greater sense of reality. They understand that life isn’t as scary as most people make it out to be. This is because they get to see life from the other side of most peoples fears.

They weren’t trained on needing attention or approval because they often went unnoticed anyway. This made them more subject to venturing off into the depths of the unknown on their own. Only they realize that the unknown isn’t as scary as it seems. They live life believing that limitations are merely artificial boundaries.

8. They have a stronger influence

Middle children had to learn how to deal with their other siblings. They’re often subject to being the decision maker so they need to come up with ways to keep both sides happy. This gives them practice at negotiating and getting along with people. They often go on to use these skills in other social situations.

 9. They are confident, not cocky

While the oldest always feels the need to be “right”, the youngest always feels the need to be submissive. The middle child sees the fault in being too confident, which is essentially cockiness. But they also see the weakness in being too submissive. This allows them to create a perfect balance of the two. They know when to say they’re right and they know when to say they’re wrong. But no matter what they say, they say it with the utmost confidence.

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10. They are the most productive

For some reason, the oldest feels inclined to order their younger siblings around. Getting them to do things they can do on their own. This enables the oldest to slip up and get lazy. However, the youngest child usually gets their parents to do everything for them. So they also get the benefit of laying back. So guess who gets stuck with the daily tasks? The middle child.

Eventually the middle child doesn’t see this as a bad thing though. This enables them to see work as a means of growing mentally and physically. They end up becoming more productive individuals while their siblings lag behind. While it may seem painful at first, it pays off in the end.

Featured photo credit: Antoine K via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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