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10 Reasons Why Middle Children Are The Strongest

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10 Reasons Why Middle Children Are The Strongest

Being the middle child is no walk in the park. You may never notice because they don’t get nearly as much attention, that’s for sure. But that’s okay because this sets them apart from society as stronger individuals. A middle child becomes more independent and appreciative of the little things that life has to offer. Here are some reasons why the middle child is the strongest of them all.

1. They know how to solve problems efficiently

Siblings always argue, sometimes even fist fight! However, middle children are always caught in between the reoccurring drama. They’re often the “go to” expert on the subject that’s being debated. The reason why is because it’s usually the youngest and the oldest fighting. They come to the middle child in hopes for backup but the middle one knows better.

They take in both sides of the argument and construct a statement that’s so powerful, emotionally, and logically, that it usually ends the argument right there and then. The other siblings have no choice but to say “wow, that makes a lot of sense, you’re right.” The world needs problem solvers which means the world needs middle children.

2. They are risk takers

The other siblings are so used to getting all the attention that they can’t get anything done without it. This is advantageous to the middle child because they usually come out ahead. They go on to become courageous risk takers. They don’t feel the need to seek out approval from their teachers or parents. They just go out and do things at a level so high, others can’t help but be impressed.

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3. They are kind and intimidating

Growing up, the middle child had no choice but to stand up to their older sibling and be kind to the younger. The oldest child always lets the power get to them. The idea that they have to play “big brother” to not just one, but two younger children, can make anyone’s head big. But the middle child recognizes when power is left unchecked because they too, have to play “big brother” to the youngest. Knowing this, the middle child would often have to intimidate the oldest to back off when they were acting out of line.

But they only use intimidation when they have to. Deep down, they’re very nice people. The reason why is because they get to practice being nice too! The youngest is usually weaker and the middle child understands what it’s like because they have an older sibling too. With this knowledge, they treat the youngest as they would want to be treated by the oldest. They truly live the “treat others how you would like to be treated” lifestyle. But never take their kindness for weakness, they have practice on both sides of the spectrum.

4. They are better with money

As a child, the youngest and the oldest are usually the spoiled ones. They get to spend mommy and daddy’s money in virtually limitless amounts. The middle.. they take what they can get but they’re smarter when spending. They don’t have the luxury of splurging because they know it’ll be a while before their parents reward them again. Knowing this, they learn to save and spend money on things that matter.

They judge items based on the quality, not quantity. They aren’t interested in trends because they know they’re usually bad investments. They’re not used to overspending so they know how to budget, they understand that less is more. This behavior may land them on the higher end of their credit score. It also means they may go on to become wealthy investors and savvy entrepreneurs.

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5. They are usually smarter

Middle children have the luxury of learning from the oldest sibling. But they are also stuck with teaching the youngest. However, this isn’t a bad thing. Being taught something is an effective form of learning but according to psychologists, so is teaching! The youngest is usually only being taught while the oldest is usually only teaching. But the middle child usually does both! So they work their brain out much more.

This first hand experience gives them an edge on life. They see things from both perspectives and use these skills to excel in their school, job, sports or business!

6. They are the decision maker

While their younger and older siblings are usually arguing about which path is the shortest way home, the middle child is usually analyzing the logical route. Since the youngest and the oldest can’t come to an agreement, the middle child usually ends up having the final say. The direction they take as a group usually lies in the hands of the middle sibling, their vote is the one that matters.

Knowing this, they never participate in the emotional attacks on one another. They already expect to be the decision maker so instead they back away from the noise and make a logical decision.

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7. They have no limits

Since the middle child is often neglected, they have no choice but to rely on their self when making decisions of their own. They become codependent and take lots of risks. With all this risk taking comes a greater sense of reality. They understand that life isn’t as scary as most people make it out to be. This is because they get to see life from the other side of most peoples fears.

They weren’t trained on needing attention or approval because they often went unnoticed anyway. This made them more subject to venturing off into the depths of the unknown on their own. Only they realize that the unknown isn’t as scary as it seems. They live life believing that limitations are merely artificial boundaries.

8. They have a stronger influence

Middle children had to learn how to deal with their other siblings. They’re often subject to being the decision maker so they need to come up with ways to keep both sides happy. This gives them practice at negotiating and getting along with people. They often go on to use these skills in other social situations.

 9. They are confident, not cocky

While the oldest always feels the need to be “right”, the youngest always feels the need to be submissive. The middle child sees the fault in being too confident, which is essentially cockiness. But they also see the weakness in being too submissive. This allows them to create a perfect balance of the two. They know when to say they’re right and they know when to say they’re wrong. But no matter what they say, they say it with the utmost confidence.

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10. They are the most productive

For some reason, the oldest feels inclined to order their younger siblings around. Getting them to do things they can do on their own. This enables the oldest to slip up and get lazy. However, the youngest child usually gets their parents to do everything for them. So they also get the benefit of laying back. So guess who gets stuck with the daily tasks? The middle child.

Eventually the middle child doesn’t see this as a bad thing though. This enables them to see work as a means of growing mentally and physically. They end up becoming more productive individuals while their siblings lag behind. While it may seem painful at first, it pays off in the end.

Featured photo credit: Antoine K via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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