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10 Reasons Why Middle Children Are The Strongest

10 Reasons Why Middle Children Are The Strongest

Being the middle child is no walk in the park. You may never notice because they don’t get nearly as much attention, that’s for sure. But that’s okay because this sets them apart from society as stronger individuals. A middle child becomes more independent and appreciative of the little things that life has to offer. Here are some reasons why the middle child is the strongest of them all.

1. They know how to solve problems efficiently

Siblings always argue, sometimes even fist fight! However, middle children are always caught in between the reoccurring drama. They’re often the “go to” expert on the subject that’s being debated. The reason why is because it’s usually the youngest and the oldest fighting. They come to the middle child in hopes for backup but the middle one knows better.

They take in both sides of the argument and construct a statement that’s so powerful, emotionally, and logically, that it usually ends the argument right there and then. The other siblings have no choice but to say “wow, that makes a lot of sense, you’re right.” The world needs problem solvers which means the world needs middle children.

2. They are risk takers

The other siblings are so used to getting all the attention that they can’t get anything done without it. This is advantageous to the middle child because they usually come out ahead. They go on to become courageous risk takers. They don’t feel the need to seek out approval from their teachers or parents. They just go out and do things at a level so high, others can’t help but be impressed.

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3. They are kind and intimidating

Growing up, the middle child had no choice but to stand up to their older sibling and be kind to the younger. The oldest child always lets the power get to them. The idea that they have to play “big brother” to not just one, but two younger children, can make anyone’s head big. But the middle child recognizes when power is left unchecked because they too, have to play “big brother” to the youngest. Knowing this, the middle child would often have to intimidate the oldest to back off when they were acting out of line.

But they only use intimidation when they have to. Deep down, they’re very nice people. The reason why is because they get to practice being nice too! The youngest is usually weaker and the middle child understands what it’s like because they have an older sibling too. With this knowledge, they treat the youngest as they would want to be treated by the oldest. They truly live the “treat others how you would like to be treated” lifestyle. But never take their kindness for weakness, they have practice on both sides of the spectrum.

4. They are better with money

As a child, the youngest and the oldest are usually the spoiled ones. They get to spend mommy and daddy’s money in virtually limitless amounts. The middle.. they take what they can get but they’re smarter when spending. They don’t have the luxury of splurging because they know it’ll be a while before their parents reward them again. Knowing this, they learn to save and spend money on things that matter.

They judge items based on the quality, not quantity. They aren’t interested in trends because they know they’re usually bad investments. They’re not used to overspending so they know how to budget, they understand that less is more. This behavior may land them on the higher end of their credit score. It also means they may go on to become wealthy investors and savvy entrepreneurs.

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5. They are usually smarter

Middle children have the luxury of learning from the oldest sibling. But they are also stuck with teaching the youngest. However, this isn’t a bad thing. Being taught something is an effective form of learning but according to psychologists, so is teaching! The youngest is usually only being taught while the oldest is usually only teaching. But the middle child usually does both! So they work their brain out much more.

This first hand experience gives them an edge on life. They see things from both perspectives and use these skills to excel in their school, job, sports or business!

6. They are the decision maker

While their younger and older siblings are usually arguing about which path is the shortest way home, the middle child is usually analyzing the logical route. Since the youngest and the oldest can’t come to an agreement, the middle child usually ends up having the final say. The direction they take as a group usually lies in the hands of the middle sibling, their vote is the one that matters.

Knowing this, they never participate in the emotional attacks on one another. They already expect to be the decision maker so instead they back away from the noise and make a logical decision.

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7. They have no limits

Since the middle child is often neglected, they have no choice but to rely on their self when making decisions of their own. They become codependent and take lots of risks. With all this risk taking comes a greater sense of reality. They understand that life isn’t as scary as most people make it out to be. This is because they get to see life from the other side of most peoples fears.

They weren’t trained on needing attention or approval because they often went unnoticed anyway. This made them more subject to venturing off into the depths of the unknown on their own. Only they realize that the unknown isn’t as scary as it seems. They live life believing that limitations are merely artificial boundaries.

8. They have a stronger influence

Middle children had to learn how to deal with their other siblings. They’re often subject to being the decision maker so they need to come up with ways to keep both sides happy. This gives them practice at negotiating and getting along with people. They often go on to use these skills in other social situations.

 9. They are confident, not cocky

While the oldest always feels the need to be “right”, the youngest always feels the need to be submissive. The middle child sees the fault in being too confident, which is essentially cockiness. But they also see the weakness in being too submissive. This allows them to create a perfect balance of the two. They know when to say they’re right and they know when to say they’re wrong. But no matter what they say, they say it with the utmost confidence.

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10. They are the most productive

For some reason, the oldest feels inclined to order their younger siblings around. Getting them to do things they can do on their own. This enables the oldest to slip up and get lazy. However, the youngest child usually gets their parents to do everything for them. So they also get the benefit of laying back. So guess who gets stuck with the daily tasks? The middle child.

Eventually the middle child doesn’t see this as a bad thing though. This enables them to see work as a means of growing mentally and physically. They end up becoming more productive individuals while their siblings lag behind. While it may seem painful at first, it pays off in the end.

Featured photo credit: Antoine K via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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