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7 Negative Thoughts That Stop You From Achieving Your Full Potential

7 Negative Thoughts That Stop You From Achieving Your Full Potential

Do you ever wonder about your life’s purpose? In other words, has this thought ever crossed your mind: “Why am I here? What am I meant to do with my time on earth?” Many people ask themselves this at some point in their lives. For some, it is at the forefront of their minds. For others, it might be a fleeting moment from time to time. But one thing is true: we all wonder if we could be better or do more with our lives.

One of the things I write and speak about is self-improvement. I am passionate about teaching others to become the best version of themselves. But let’s face it – it’s not easy to change. Most people are creatures of habit – myself included. And according to brain science, once you develop habits, the connections in your brain for that habit can get very strong – and thus, difficult to change. But it can be done!

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Here are 7 common negative thoughts that are stopping you from achieving your full potential:

1. “I’m not good enough.”

Many people suffer from low self-esteem. Let’s face it — we live in a world that helps us breed bad feelings about ourselves. Since our culture values money, power, beauty, and youth (just to name a few), it’s difficult for most people to think that they will ever live up to society’s standards. But everyone has their unique gift to offer the world. I’ve even known ex-drug addicts who have turned their lives around and are now helping others get off of drugs and achieve their dreams. Sometimes a seemingly bad thing can turn into an opportunity.

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2. “There is too much competition.”

This is one I hear from everyone who wants to start a business or do something different with their career. For example, many people think about blogging for money these days. And yes, there are a lot of bloggers out there! But that doesn’t mean that you can’t be one of the successful ones, because there are many online resources to help you figure out how to do it right. So whether it’s blogging, social media, writing a book, or opening an ice cream stand, there will always be “competition.” The key is to not let it deter you from starting your journey.

3. “It will take too much time/effort.”

Time will pass anyway. Ten years from now, you will still be ten years older than you are today. But that doesn’t mean you should be the same person. Do you want to look back and say, “Darn! If only I had started back then, I wonder where I would be now.” Yes, success takes effort. And yes, it is worth it! So whether you want to go back to school, start a business, lose weight, find/fix your relationships, just do it! People who are self-actualized don’t worry about the time and effort that is needed to succeed. They simply want to be a better person and that’s what they focus on.

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4.”I don’t even know what my dreams are anymore.”

I don’t care if you’re 100 years old, I’m sure you had dreams at one point in your life. And if your memory is still intact, then you can remember them! What did you want to be when you were a kid? A fire fighter? A singer? A lawyer? A doctor? Whatever it is, you can probably achieve it. New beginnings happen all the time, but they all start with a dream. So even if you really, truly can’t remember your dreams, then think about what you love doing. What makes you happy? Find it – and then do more of it. Following your dreams do not always mean you have to get a new job in the meantime!

5. “I’m too old now.”

You’re never too old for anything! When I was in my Ph.D. program, I had students in my classes who were in their 50s, 60s, and some in their 70s! These people went back to school at that stage in their lives because they decided they wanted to become professors or simply extend their education. I’ve also known people who started new businesses in their later years as well. There’s nothing you can’t do because of your age.

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6. “It’s impossible.”

Nothing is impossible! Okay, except maybe teleporting yourself to a different galaxy, but even that could be possible someday. I have a friend who used to be over 500 pounds and he lost all his weight naturally and got down to 160! I have another friend who was awaiting a heart transplant, and it looked unlikely that he would get one since he has such a rare blood type. But he did – and now he’s thriving! I’ve known a lot of people who have overcome the odds to become their best self. Nothing is impossible unless you believe it is.

7. “I’ll never be successful.”

If not you, then who? People succeed all the time! Have you ever said to yourself, “Why didn’t I think of that!?!” when you see a new product on the market? Successful people don’t let setbacks stop them.  The movies Star Wars and Rocky were turned down by numerous production companies, but George Lucas and Sylvester Stallone never gave up! If they did, then we wouldn’t have those movies – which happen to be among the most famous of all time.

Anyone is capable of reaching their full potential. You just have to believe it! So erase these negative thoughts right out of your mind, and then set down on the road to being your best self!

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is a dating and relationship coach, professor, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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