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Being Alone Is Her Default: 15 Things To Remember If You Love A Woman Who’s Used To Being On Her Own

Being Alone Is Her Default: 15 Things To Remember If You Love A Woman Who’s Used To Being On Her Own

Do you love a woman who is used to being on her own? While you may be used to being around people and going to your friends after a hard day, this independent woman is used to relying on herself. She can have fun by herself, but she can also have a lot of fun with you – check out 15 things to remember if you love a woman who is used to being on her own.

1. She Is Emotionally Strong

She is used to relying on herself, so she is emotionally strong. She can fight her own battles, and while this may seem intimidating initially, you will appreciate her strength when either of you go through a difficult time.

2. She Will Be Reserved At The Beginning

To start with, she will be reserved about the things that are important to her. However, the more you get to know her, the more you will find out. When she is fully open with you, you can be proud to be one of the very few people she chooses to be close to.

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3. She Likes To Do Her Own Thing

As she spends time alone regularly, she has picked up hobbies and activities that she enjoys doing alone, like running or reading. Be proud of her for her interests, and encourage her to keep pursuing them.

4. She Isn’t Used To Relying On Other People

She may struggle with letting you do things for her, as she isn’t used to other’s looking out for her. However, that isn’t to say she doesn’t like relying on other people; she probably does, it will just take her a while to get used to it.

5. She Likes It When Things Go Her Way

She will be stubborn when you two disagree, and she will fight to get her way. Sometimes she will win, and sometimes you will – which makes a healthy, fair relationship.

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6. She May Want To Take Things Slowly

She isn’t used to being with someone so often, so she won’t want to jump in the deep end straight away. Don’t be pushed away by this – she likes you a lot, but it is a big lifestyle change for her. A woman that is used to being alone might want to take things more slowly than you are used to — but she is worth it.

7. She Still Enjoys Time Alone

She is used to spending time alone and she enjoys that time, so she won’t give it up. You are still very important to her, but she will still need alone time in order to regroup.

8. She May Be Unsure About Your Feelings Towards Her

She isn’t the kind of person who is regularly in relationships, so she may be unsure about your feelings for her. She may question your feelings, but only because this is new territory for her.

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9. She Will Take Time To Open Up Emotionally

She won’t tell you her life story and all of her problems straight away, because she is a pretty private person. She will open up over time, but right now she is simply focusing on enjoying her time with you.

10. She May Worry About How Much She Likes You

At the beginning, she may withdraw from you for a while. This isn’t because she doesn’t like you; she just wants to assess her feelings and decide what she wants.

11. Her Trust Must Be Earned

This woman does not trust everyone and anything – it takes time and patience to earn her trust. However, once she does trust you, she will trust you fully.

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12. She Is Headstrong

She is headstrong and is used to running her life efficiently without any help. This strength is admirable, and it means she never depend on you for everything.

13. She May Not Need You, But She Wants You

At the beginning, she isn’t spending time with you because she feels like she needs you. She knows she just wants to enjoy your company at this point – but with time and patience, you may grow to need each other.

14. She May Be Wary Of Commitment

Commitment can be scary to all of us; you are giving someone the power to hurt you or leave you. However, she is willing to push past her fears and wander into the unknown together.

15. She Is Used To Being Alone

Her natural comfort zone is being alone, and being alone will always be comforting to her. You can love her for a lifetime, and she will always enjoy being alone. Let her be alone when she wants to be, and be proud of her independence.

What did you think of this list? Do you agree? Share with your friends to see what they think!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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