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8 Important Milestones You Should Have Besides Getting Married And Succeeding At Work

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8 Important Milestones You Should Have Besides Getting Married And Succeeding At Work

I have never thought of marriage as the most important milestone to reach in my life. I think we all evolve with the process of growth and reaching certain milestones. It could still be an opinion thing because what is important to me may not be important to another person. Yet no kidding, we all have our milestones which when we get to redefines us and pushes us to a higher ground. So here are some milestones away that could be away from the conventional.

Realizing what your life should be centered around

You passion and purpose in life should be one of the most important milestones in life. Marriage or work doesn’t have anything to realizing what your self-actualization should be about. Many people sort of dabble into so many activities at once, music, writing, architecture, sports. Yet you should be sure about what passion you really care about and you excel at.

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Ending a relationship with a close friend

We all go through difficult and stiff periods with our friends. I have broken up with friends and discovered my friendships with them again. When you end a relationship with a friend you understand yourself better. You understand if you have been the right or wrong person in a relationship. Such helps you put perspectives together.

Buying your first home

Leaving your parent’s home and getting into your own apartment is a great milestone. However improving on that and buying your own home proves that you have worked hard and saved for something that will seal your sense of security. Besides you also have an asset that you can be proud of.

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Going back to school to get your masters

Whether it was necessary or not for you, you just wanted to have a sense of accomplishment in getting more degrees to your cabinet. You trudge harder even when others have thrown in the towel and settled for a Bachelor’s degree. Such takes courage and resilience. And that proves you are worth something. This is another important milestone you can reach has nothing to do with marriage or work.

Taking a terrifying risk

Try and do something out of the ordinary or what many would never have expected you to do. You can’t continue sitting behind the mask all the time. I hope to climb the Mount Kilimanjaro or Mount Everest sometime. Why don’t you try something that may be termed as a risk but will expose you even to your own fears?

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Giving money to a cause

Doing some philanthropy when you do not have surplus money yet takes courage. You see the need in your environment or in your life and you make that positive contribution because you want to better their situation shows that you have evolved and grown into becoming a positive person. This is another milestone we could all reach in our lives.

Reaching the deepest hole of our pain

When you hit rock bottom and meet with disappointment, frustration and despair you discover yourself in a way you never thought you could. You achieve fulfillment during this period because you can identify what really should be focal in your life. You know your true companions and you adjust your world to a picture that can set you free. This important milestone can be a platform for you to become successful in no time.

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Going back in time to visit your past

It could be your fears, your disappointments or regrets, sometimes taking a walk or a journey into the past strengthen and reignite us. I visited my high school once, and it made me realize how far I have come since I departed that school. You could need to journey to the past in different ways, sometimes it could be through pleasurable moments of listening to an old song. There is always a way to reconnect with the past and this could be an important milestone for anyone of us.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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