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6 Reasons Why You Don’t Love The Person You Cheat On, Even If You Claim You Do

6 Reasons Why You Don’t Love The Person You Cheat On, Even If You Claim You Do

How do you define a cheater? A dishonest crook, a person who is selfish and unconcerned with the world around them. Being a responsible and ideal lover requires a degree of commitment, honesty, and truth. With such things, it is easier to navigate a relationship.

One who cheats doesn’t really think of preserving, rather they think of expunging and releasing. What is a relationship without some loyalty and certainty? It’s important to consider the effects and consequences of cheating when you look at what you want to protect, rather than at the immediate satisfaction you will achieve.

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Once, I may have believed that being with another woman would liberate me and give me something that was missing in my relationship, but the truth is that there is no shelter elsewhere — only devastation to your own self and to your relationship.

True love never involves cheating. Your partner should protect you and look out for your best interests, always wanting you to be happy. If you have cheated in the past, you may being lying to yourself about your true feelings. Here are some reasons why you don’t love the person you cheated on, even if you say you do.

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You are not being selfless

How can you say you love someone when you are not willing to make some compromise and let some things go? True love is selfless and sacrificial. And there is nothing selfless and sacrificial about cheating on your partner.

You are not solid in the relationship

When cheating comes into play, you may think you love your partner, yet that love is one that’s easily shaken. True love is solid. It is stable and complete. It does not need anything extra. When love cannot be consistent and stable, then it is not true love and it does not mean much.

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You are not confrontational when it’s needed

If you care and have deep feelings, you don’t run away from the person you care for or look for another outlet to gain pleasure. I’ve met people who claimed to cheat because they just wanted to use it as an outlet, a means of dealing with some issue. They wanted to explore and engage in an adventure because they felt restless. If you love your partner truly, you deal with those issues head on and as a team. Both sides need to be present to make their voices heard in a working relationship.

You don’t embrace the positives of your relationship

Love is supposed to be a positive state of being. Joy, richness, depth, and trust are born out of love. Cheaters take these things for granted and always want something more. What they fail to consider is that the consequences of cheating are all negative — guilt, mistrust, lies, and betrayal. It may be easy for you to take love for granted, but those who take love seriously understand that all its greatness outweighs any immediate pleasure gained from cheating.

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You are not accepting of your partner

Love is not indirect. It never drifts, digresses, or gets distracted. True love means truly accepting your partner and everything that comes along with them. If you are on the right track, you will also seek acceptance from your partner, rather than pursue other alternatives. If you cheat, it means that, on some level, you have not wholly accepted your partner and the relationship.

You are not a believer

When people tell me that they are cool with cheating, I ask myself this question: do they believe in the actions they are taking? When you love someone, you believe what the person tells you and expect the same in return. This is how trust is born. Cheating is a violation of this. If you take away this trust and belief, what is left of the relationship? If you believe that true love involves cheating in any sense, you are kidding yourself.

At the end of the day, cheating is cheating — it is wrong. It may be okay to admire others when you are in a loving relationship, but taking action or pursuing something that would work against your relationship is not love. It is poison. If you truly love someone, not cheating is easy.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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