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7 Things Passive Aggressive People Do to Vent Their Grievances At Work

7 Things Passive Aggressive People Do to Vent Their Grievances At Work

The passive aggressive person is always on the defensive but is always less confrontational than a purely aggressive person. In the short term, their behaviors may seem convenient and less assertive. Yet while they do well to satisfy themselves in the short term, in the long run, their passive aggressive behavior can be more destructive to interpersonal relationships in the workplace than outright aggression.

A passive aggressive person is able to keep themselves calm in the moment and waits for another time to get revenge, such as purposely missing a deadline at work. The thing is that they express their grievances by exacting revenge from behind the safety of plausible excuses rather than come out directly about problems. Here are some things passive aggressive people do to vent their grievances in the workplace.

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1. They make critical remarks

Passive aggressive people tend to offer sniping remarks at colleagues or workmates they are angry with. They may fixate on something other than what they are angry about, like how you dress approach an issue or conduct yourself. They would come at you to make you feel bad and incapable to fulfill the duties you are presented with. They intentionally do not want you to feel comfortable about yourself. So they will do well to get on the nerves of other people who may have upset them, or have deprived them of comfort and rest.

2. They are negative

They suddenly become pessimistic and work against anything their workmates do. They do not see the bright side in the activities or the accomplishments of their workmates. They may also try to obstruct coworkers from succeeding at projects at work. They wouldn’t want others in the office to complete their objectives and may end up humiliating coworkers. You should understand that passive aggressive behavior is always related to resentment and jealousy.

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3. They attack indirectly

They conceal their desire to make their workmate or anyone responsible for their hurt pay. They may plan an indirect attack that does not relate to the original ‘offense’ but still leaves their coworker hurt in the long-run. Passive aggressive people direct their attacks not at the behavior they are trying to stop but at the person they are trying to stop. The passive aggressive person revels in the excitement that they are causing the other person pain even if the pain seems slow and painful to the person who is being attacked.

4. They mask their anger

Since passive aggressive people are somewhat afraid of something, they do not express their anger directly. Their anger could be hidden beneath the surface of a calmly composed smile. A passive aggressive person often does not want to be detected because they do not enjoy direct confrontation. They would want to mask their anger from detection because of the fear of a direct expression.

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5. They sugarcoat their hostility

When people understand that they cannot express their anger in a direct form and that this anger won’t go away they seek socially acceptable ways to express their anger. Through sugarcoating their hostility and anger they are able to repress their negative emotions. You may have a passive aggressive person in your life that you do not realize is angry with you because they are acting nice to your face.

6. They play the victim

They tend to assume the role of the victim rather than accept that they are at fault. This is the passive part of being passive aggressive. They wouldn’t come out directly in the open to let the other person aware of what they must have been doing to get back at them. Many of them believe they are simply the victim and they have been wronged so many times by friends, families, and coworkers.

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7. They play tit-for-tat

Passive aggressive people at work play tit-for-tat and work to make revenge exciting. Here’s an example. Mark is being overworked and under-recognized in the workplace. Rather than explain his discomforts he calls in sick for two consecutive days, thus he misses key deadlines and this sabotages the productivity of his department which reflects poorly on his boss. Just like Mark the boss is also overlooked for a promotion and Mark’s mission is accomplished.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

If you’re going to spend 1/3 of our life at work, you should enjoy it, right?

Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. Difficult coworkers, less-than-desirable tasks, or even just being in the wrong position can all lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in your work.

But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? Or better yet, if you struggle with all of the above (and then some), what if I told you that enjoying your work and finding fulfillment regardless of those obstacles is possible?

Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you because I was there too. Before implementing the tips below, I struggled to get through each day, much less find real fulfillment, in the office. Now, even after the toughest days on the job, I still come away with feelings of pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment. The best news is, so can you.

If you’re ready to make those hours count and find happiness and fulfillment in the office, then read on to find out how to be happy at work and find fulfillment in your career:

1. Discover the root(s) of the problem

For this first step, we’ll need to think back to 8th-grade physics (humor me). We all know Newton’s 3rd law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” When you think about it, the same can be said outside of physics, and we see this law play out in our daily lives, day after day.

Simply put, all the issues we deal with in the office (and life in general) affect us in a noticeable way.

If you’re appreciated at work, like the work you do and receive frequent praise, promotions, or raises, then this will probably have an altogether positive effect on your life in the office.

But what if we reverse this? What if you feel under appreciated, get passed up for promotions, or get denied raises? This is sure to affect the way you feel at work on a negative level.

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So, before you can implement the steps of feeling happy and fulfilled at work, we first have to discover the reasons why you don’t feel that way already.

Think about it, write a list, or make a mental note. Run through all the reasons you’re dissatisfied in the office, and don’t hold back. Knowing the exact obstacles you’re facing will make overcoming them that much easier.

In fact, as a side-challenge to this article, I recommend picking the top three reasons contributing to your dissatisfaction at work and using the following tips to tackle them.

2. Practice gratitude for an instant uplift

Did you know the simple act of feeling grateful can increase your happiness and make you more fulfilled at work?[1]

Well, it’s true, and it’s scientifically proven.

Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that practicing gratitude “reminds us of what we lacked in the past.” Meaning, it serves as both a boost to happiness and a bit of a wake-up call that things have been or could be, much worse.

Trying to conjure up feelings of gratitude can seem almost impossible when your work situation seems bleak, but hear me out: There are incredibly easy ways to get started and it doesn’t involve trying to “force” yourself to feel grateful about things that stress you out.

For an instant pick-me-up, try this:

Find a loose piece of paper, a blank sticky note, or anything you can write on, be it physical or digital. List just three things that you are absolutely without-a-doubt thankful for in your life.

Now here’s the trick: Don’t just list what you’re grateful for, you have to list why you’re grateful for them, too.

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For example, simply saying “I’m grateful for my kids” will probably make you feel good, sure, but what if we could amplify the warm, fuzzy feeling into real, lasting motivation?

Instead, write the reason you’re so thankful for your children. Is it because they make you laugh and forget about other stressors? Or maybe they help to remind you of why you go to work every day in the first place?

Whatever your reasons may be, jot them down and keep your list somewhere you can see it while you work. A quick glance at your gratitude list throughout the day can provide powerful, positive motivation to keep going.

Bonus:

If you can find just three things to be thankful for that specifically relate to your job, and list why those things make you grateful, your list can also help you find fulfillment in your work itself which can give you an even bigger boost of positivity throughout the day.

3. Take meaningful time for yourself

We all know creating a strong work-life balance can be crucial to feeling satisfied in our jobs, but rarely do we ever address how we’re spending our time outside of work.

Many of us survive a 9-hour work day and commute home only to find ourselves busy with our personal to-do lists, running a household, and taking care of a child (or 2 or 3, and so on).

If you spend all your time working, whether in the office or within your household, you’re going to feel drained at some point. This is why setting meaningful time for yourself every day is highly important.

Look, I get it: I don’t know anyone in the working world who can shun all responsibility for a 3-movie marathon or happy hour with friends whenever they feel like it. But finding time for yourself, be it just 30 minutes to an hour, can really make a difference in how you feel at work.

This works because you’ll have time to actually relax and let the day’s stress melt away while you enjoy something just for you. The to-do lists and stressors will still be there after you’re refreshed and ready to tackle them.

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No time for me-time? Try this:

If you have a busy household, you’ll need to capitalize on a block of time you know will be completely uninterrupted. The easiest way to do this: try waking up 30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual (or push bedtime back an hour if you’re a night owl, like me) and take time to do something you enjoy.

This could be reading with a cup of tea, catching up on Facebook, spending time on a passion project—anything! As long as it’s meaningful to you, it works!

Bonus:

Starting your day with meaningful time for yourself can set you up to have a positive mood that lasts well into office hours, and having your me-time in the evening can give you something positive to look forward to during the day.

4. Get productive and feel accomplished

Don’t you just love the feeling of checking the last item off of a hefty to-do list? That’s because self-motivation can be a huge driver of positivity and success.

When we accomplish something, no matter how small, it makes us feel good, plain and simple. Applying this tactic to your daily work can be the motivator you need to find fulfillment during the daily office grind.

While there are tons of steps to get more done at work, I’ll share my personal favorite: Prioritizing.

Now, many people handle prioritizing differently. Some like to tackle the little tasks first so they can spend focused time on the big to-dos. Others like to knock out the big items first and get to the smaller ones when they can.

No matter which camp you’re in, you may be missing one crucial step: Time management.

So how’s this work? When you factor in the amount of time your priorities will take, it can transform your productivity ten-fold.

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Say you have three top priorities for the day. You might jump into the smaller ones or the bigger ones depending on your preferred method, and then find yourself out of time and bringing work home with you at the end of the day.

This is prevented when you factor in time. Knowing how long each item will take, or deliberately setting specific blocks of time for your priorities can help you accomplish more in the same 8-9 (or 12) hours that you typically spend at work.

Try this:

Take a look at your priorities and consider how long they should take. Pop into your Google calendar (or Filofax, whatever works for you) and schedule time to work on your priority items around any important meetings or events of the day.

The most important thing to remember is to stick to your dedicated time.

Often, when we know exactly how long we have to work on something (and honor this time limit), we’re motivated to get more done on time to avoid taking work home at the end of the day.

The bottom line

There’s no need to waste 1/3 of our lives feeling unsatisfied at work. Luckily, you now have the tools to get started, take back your time, and become happy and fulfilled at work again.

The only question is — which tip will you try first?

Featured photo credit: Ellyot via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]Psychology Today: The Healing Power of Gratitude

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