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If You Have a Smart Girlfriend, You’ll Understand These 10 Things

If You Have a Smart Girlfriend, You’ll Understand These 10 Things

I once dated a smart girlfriend. It was a relationship that was driven rather than walked. Looking back at it, I wished it had lasted, because you are solid and safer when you are in a relationship with a smart girlfriend. You are not looking over your shoulder; rather, you are looking ahead at possibilities and outcomes. Here are some things that are a little different about dating a smart woman.

1. She has strong opinions.

Even when you discuss random stuff with her, like sports, politics, literature or entertainment, she has strong opinions. She knows what she is talking about and her opinion is centered on what is pleasant to her and not to you.

2. She can handle her money.

She knows how to handle her money. She sees money as a tool rather than an item. She is resourceful with it and treats is as valuable. She leads her finances and her finances don’t lead her. If you are giving her money, understand she will treat it right.

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3. She handles kids and the elderly the smart way.

She is not childish or stupid. She is comfortable and can relate with kids or older adults. She is not rude. She is tolerant and won’t develop cold feet when she is with any age group. She is happy to converse with people of all sorts when she has the chance to.

4. She is confident.

Her intellect is an assurance for her. She can deal with stuff and is not scared to air an opinion. She would do the courageous thing rather than cower in fear or reluctance. So if you are in a tough situation, she certainly knows how to get you out of it.

5. She wants to succeed.

Good is not enough for her; rather, she will go for excellent. Even if she fails in the process, she won’t stop—she will continue chasing for success. She loves challenges and what it means to her success. Rather than be inactive, she will always show resilience and tread into newer territories.

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6. She knows how to manage a crisis.

She doesn’t cower in the face of a crisis. She can get tough when she meets with a tough situation. Rather than withdraw, she adapts and creatively digs in to get out of the situation. Actually, difficult moments define her mental strength and abilities.

7. She is dependable.

She is reliable. If she says she will do something, she will do it. She is so dependable and such an asset that you can count on her in almost any case. You can vouch for her, because she will always get the job done.

8. She is consistent.

She is not unstable. If she is in a relationship with anyone, she commits herself to it. She doesn’t have to say yes to what she doesn’t believe in or that you won’t prove rewarding. With her, there is no insecurity. She is in it with you for the long haul because she knows that it means something. She is stable and efficient.

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9. She knows her worth.

She doesn’t feel inferior to anyone. She respects herself and respects everyone around her and expects the same from them. She will dress well and communicate perfectly. It is not as if this validates her, she just wants to be the ideal person that commands respect.

10. She is resourceful.

Her knowledge does not make her lazy. She actually uses it as a weapon to get what she wants or what is of value to her. She develops networks and alliances that propel her to a destination. She is proactive and is always finding a way to get things done and make the world around her better. She simply won’t settle for cheap.

Don’t hurt a smart lady because she will leave you if she has to, for the right reasons.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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