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15 Things You Only Realize When You’re Adulting

15 Things You Only Realize When You’re Adulting

Do you think you’re an adult? Adulting can be a lot of fun, with no parents watching over you and the freedom to do whatever you like. Yet somehow you find yourself missing your childhood – maybe it’s because you didn’t have to do all of the washing up and laundry then.

Check out these 15 things you only realize when you’re adulating:

1. You Realize NOTHING Gets Done Unless You Do It

You knew your parents did a lot for you when you lived at home, but it was only when you moved out that you realized HOW much they actually did. Now you do the laundry, the washing up, and you take out the bins – and why is the lampshade so dusty? You’ve only lived here for four months. Do you have to clean that, too?! It never ends.

2. You Discover How Depressing Job Interviews Are

Convincing a stranger that you are a worldly genius while wearing uncomfortable clothes – and then getting rejected. Again, and again, and again….

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3. You Realize How Important Your Job Is

Eventually you get a job – Hurray! Sadly the job is working in administration, and it has nothing to do with your degree. However, you’re pretty sure you can never quit – you need this precious, boring job to pay your rent and bills.

4. You Notice How Terrible You Are With Money

You’re finally earning a full time wage – and where does it all go?! You’re pretty certain you’ve spent all of your money, but there is another week until payday. You’ve come up with a smart solution to deal with this: you now totally avoid checking your bank balance. You’d rather it remain a mystery.

5. You Sometimes You Feel Good About Your Earnings, Until You Remember Student Loans

Considering your degree didn’t help you get your job, you feel particularly peeved that you have to pay back your student loans. You need that money for alcohol and potato chips, so you can temporarily pretend you’re not an adult.

6. … Or Taxes

You didn’t mind the idea of paying taxes, because you were looking forward to being an important, contributing member of society. Then you realized how expensive taxes are- they’re HOW much?!

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7. You Realize You Need To Take Care Of Your Body

You love sitting on the sofa and eating chocolate, but recently you have started to feel mild guilt about this. It has to be the adulting you’re doing; so now you buy chocolate with fruit in it, and you bought a new pair of running sneakers. You have high hopes you will eventually put them on your feet.

8. You Don’t Like Going Out As Much

On the weekend? You’re not sure if you want to ruin your precious weekend with a hangover. Mid-week? You have to be joking – you’re up at 7am for work.

9. You Can’t Sleep Properly Anymore

You’re used to lying in bed worrying about bills, rent and general adulting-related concerns. Maybe you should have gone out after all, since you’re not sleeping either way.

10. You Realize You Have To Plan And Cook Your Own Meals

You tried a lasagna and you nearly set your whole house on fire. From now on, you’re sticking to your childhood favorites: ready meals, potato chips, and sandwiches.

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11. You Realize How Many Things You Love Cost Money

It isn’t just rent, heating, and food – it is EVERYTHING. If you want to go out and exercise, you have to pay for a gym membership. If you just want to sit inside and try to forget about all of the adulting you’re doing, you need to pay for a Netflix account.

12. You Notice You Downgraded Your Life Goals

As a child, you wanted to live in a nice house. As an adult, you just want to pay rent on time. As a child you wanted to be an explorer. As an adult, you just want a job with a semi-decent boss. Sigh.

13. You Have To Make Your Own Appointments

You have always hated going to the doctor and the dentist, and now you have to make the appointments yourself –which is probably why you never go anymore.

14. You Feel Awkward When You Try To Make Adult Friends

You already have a solid group of friends from school and University, but it’s much harder to make friends in the office – mainly because you’re the only person there under 50.

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15. You Often Feel Like An Adult-Child Hybrid

Eating potato chips, watching TV and spending time on the computer are still all your favorite things to do- and you still have to force yourself to eat some vegetables. You’re pretty sure that you are a child living inside a grown-up body.

What did you think of this list? Can you relate? Share this with your friends who are adulting and see what they think!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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