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Useful Tips for Taking Care of Your First Born Baby

Useful Tips for Taking Care of Your First Born Baby

Congratulations on becoming a parent! Welcome to an awesome, hilarious, challenging, wild ride. My husband and I had 3 kids within 19 months, and I’m not going to lie, those first months with the twins are pretty much a blur. The first weeks with a new baby are a mixture of more love than you ever imagined possible, over-the-moon joy, and complete, total exhaustion.

Here are some tips from my friends and I to make the first months with your first born baby easier.

Items to purchase

1. More isn’t always better. “You don’t need all the stuff they tell you to buy. Keep it simple,” advises Jennifer Thorson of Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

2. Hand-me-downs are great. We’ve inherited tons of clothes from friends whose kids outgrew them. As our children outgrow them, we pass them along to other friends who are having babies. This has saved us — and our friends — so much money, and has been especially nice when the kids are growing fast and going through different sizes quickly.

Outings with your little one

3. Get out of the house with your baby. “Don’t be afraid to do things with your kids, even when they are teeny tiny. Bring them everywhere. They will get used to being out and about,” advises Cassidy Bjorklund, a mom of 3 in Moorhead, Minnesota.

4. Fit baby into your life. If you like to travel, continue to travel. Sara Hagenbeck, a mom of 3, shares some of her favorite advice. “The best advice I received was to fit your baby into your life — don’t change your life for your baby…If you travel, travel with baby. If you’re outdoorsy, bring baby with. Then picture you traveling with the special light/sound machine, wipe warmer, giant special toys, bottle warmers…all those extras you realize you don’t really need. From day one at home, bed time has always been simple. Put the baby on his or her bed, no lights/vibrations/music, no toys, because we travel to grandparents houses, hotels, etc. It makes life so much easier that our kids ‘fit’ into our lives!”

5. Bring your child many places. Alison Krueger, a mother in Mapleton, North Dakota, has enjoyed bringing her daughter just about everywhere. “While creating a schedule is helpful, don’t be afraid to go off of schedule to be able to experience things with your child. Take them anywhere and everywhere you can. You learn so much about your child and yourself by experiencing all things. I’ve loved to watch Lia grow and love that at a young age she could hold conversations with adults. She has grown to be a curious and fun child with all she’s gotten to experience with us.”

6. Stroller rides are awesome. All 3 of my kids loved, and still love, stroller rides. Taking them on stroller rides has benefits for parents, too. Getting some exercise and fresh air feels great.

Sleeping

7. Sleep when baby sleeps. “Sleep when they sleep. You’ve gotta get some rest or you won’t do anybody any good. The baby’s going to wake up every two hours, even in the middle of the night, so sleep when they sleep,” says Jason Brookshire, a father of 2 in Hawley, Minnesota.

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8. You’re better off rested. Missy Conrad agrees with catching some zzz’s when you can. “Sleep when baby sleeps! Easier said then done, I know. But you’re so much better off rested.”

Feedings

9. Be flexible. Lynette Triebwasser, a Hawley, Minnesota mother of 3 (including a set of twins), has this advice for parents: “Follow “routine” and not a rigid schedule. Babies are flexible if parents are flexible. The routine can travel with you easily. Also if nursing — nurse as long as it it mutually agreed upon by both parties. If you nurse 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years your baby got what they were supposed to get. Don’t let anyone else tell you how long is the “correct” amount of time — or if it’s even the right fit for you.”

10. You’re not a failure if you quit nursing. Christy Ambrose, a mom in Fargo, North Dakota, offers encouraging words to new moms: “If nursing doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Nursing is frustrating and hard, and can be really painful. And you will probably cry. And all of that is normal, even if it doesn’t seem like it should be that hard, it is! Never let yourself feel like you’ve failed, because as long as you are doing your best, you are doing amazing!”

11. If you want to nurse your baby, seek help. Lactation consultants in the hospital are very knowledgeable and know many tricks to make nursing more manageable.

Soothing your baby

12. You’ll learn by trial and error. All 3 of my kids have needed different things to soothe them. You’ll get to know your baby’s cries and how your baby is best soothed, but it can be stressful to figure out at first. I found the book The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, MD, to be incredibly helpful.

13. Stock up on pacifiers. If you’re going to use pacifiers, buy lots of your baby’s favorites. They often get dropped on dirty floors or lost, and having pacifiers available around the house, in your vehicle, and in the diaper bag is very helpful. You don’t want to be scrambling to find one when you need it.

Get professional medical advice

14. Getting an eye exam is important. Get their eyes checked. This is actually recommended in the first year or less but not communicated very much. Can have a large impact on their development,” says Kara Dietz, a mother of 2 daughters in Fargo, North Dakota.

15. Call your doctor. Touch base with your baby’s doctor or nurse with medical questions or concerns. When you have non-urgent questions about your baby’s health, write them down, so you remember to ask your doctor at your baby’s well-child checkup.

Connect with others

16. Parenting classes can be a great way to connect with other parents and learn great information too. Take a new mom class! Amma Maternity in the Twin Cities is amazing!” says Callon Siebenahler of Shakopee, Minnesota. Rachel Butkowski-Payette agrees. “A new moms class is a must,” she said. 

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17. Offer encouraging words to other parents. Kristen Halden, a mom in Hawley, Minnesota, says: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It really does take a village! And know that everyone is just doing their best like you so support each other, even if it’s an ‘I’ve been there too!’ when they have a tantrum-throwing toddler at the Target checkout!”

Do what works best for your family

18. Everyone will have advice for you. You don’t have to follow it. Elizabeth Hoekstra, a mom from Hawley, Minnesota, says: “Remember, YOU are the parents. Many people will tell how you should raise your kids, but that’s the kicker, they are YOUR kids. Raise them the way you feel works best for your family.”

19. Make your own rules. Don’t follow the “rules” of how to do this parenting thing. There’s no reason you can’t make your own rules and own way of doing things,” is advice offered by Kaila Jones of Twin Valley, Minnesota.

20. Trust your instincts. Go with your gut,” says Kristi Krueger Roscoe, a mother from Fargo, North Dakota.

21. You’ll do just fine. When asked what advice she has for new parents, Missy Daggett, a mom in Alpharetta, Georgia has some great words. “I’ve been asked this question often and my response is always the same: ‘Shredded cheese is easier to sweep up if you let it dry out first; you’re going to do just fine.’ I think it’s important to share that we all struggle and second guess ourselves, but each mom has to figure out what works best for their family.”

Avoid comparing

22. There is more than one ‘right’ way to do things. Audrey Kankelfritz, a mom in Fargo, North Dakota, has helpful advice for parents: “Don’t stress out about your children’s sleep schedule, eating habits, etc. I often questioned myself to wonder am I doing this the ‘right’ way. Honestly, there is not just one ‘right’ way but many. Every child does things a little differently and develops at their own pace. Do not compare your child’s schedule or habits to another. Raising a child is an adventure; you learn what’s best for your children as you go and as you get to learn their personality and abilities.”

23. Each child is different. Kim Benscoter, a Detroit Lakes, Minnesota mother, reminds us of this with her advice: “Try not to compare your babies growth or development with other babies. Each little one grows, learns and creates their own little self at their own rate.”

Document memories

24. Keep a journal. Aja Joseph, a mother in Burnsville, Minnesota, wishes she would’ve taken more time to journal. She says, “Take the time to truly savor every moment. It sounds cliche, but the stages go by so quick. As a new mom, you are often exhausted and sometimes just trying to get through the day. The fact is that one day they will be much more independent, and when they don’t need you to help them potty, feed them, or wipe their mouth, you will miss it! Take the time to journal about each day’s experience, even just a few minutes. So much happens that you will forget if you don’t record it. I wish I done this more diligently because my kids say and do the darnedest things daily!” 

25. Videos and pictures are great keepsakes. Kelly Binfet, a mom in Fargo, North Dakota, “Take lots of real photos in albums and video!” I agree. We got a video camera from my parents as a baby gift, and I love grabbing it and recording everyday moments and special occasions.

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Let others help

26. If you have a partner, let him or her help with baby. Hold your tongue instead of constantly correcting when he or she does baby-related tasks. There’s no perfect way to parent, and if you’re overly critical, the other parent will feel inadequate.

27. Accept help from others who offer a helping hand. When people offer to help you, whether it’s to bring meals over, clean your house, run errands, or hold baby while you take a shower, let them. When people want to help but aren’t sure how, give them specific directions about what you need.

28. Hired help can be great. When our twins were babies, my husband and I hired a college student to come over and clean our house on a regular basis. It was awesome. Then, after the twins went to bed, we didn’t need to spend so much time on these chores.

Other tips to make life easier

29. Childcare can be hard to find. “If you are going to need a daycare start looking as soon as you know you’re expecting,” says Gabe Hagenbeck, a dad in Moorhead, Minnesota. 

30. Don’t stress about keeping things perfect. Ask for help if you need it! Don’t feel like you have to do it all alone. Don’t stress about having a clean house and keeping everything perfect like other ‘super moms’ because they don’t have it all together like they want you to believe,” says Mandy Runyan, a mother of 2 from Park Rapids, Minnesota.

31. Stock up on items ahead of time. Before our twins were born, my husband and I stocked up on many household items we would need in the upcoming weeks for ourselves, such as toothpaste, soaps, and paper towels. This prevented us from having to run a bunch of errands in those first few weeks.

32. Take a shower and put on some clothes you like every day. This helped me feel refreshed and somewhat human during those initial weeks of massive sleep deprivation.

33. Bring a change of clothes with you…for you! When I brought my newborn with me to meet my friend’s new baby, my little one had a massive blowout all over my jeans as soon as we walked in the door. While I had packed several outfits for my infant, I hadn’t packed a backup outfit for me. I learned my lesson and brought clean clothes for myself after that, and still do, even now when my youngest is 19 months old.

34. Don’t rush childhood. “Don’t rush your kids to grow up. This includes once they get to the “preschool” age. Just let them play, and learn how to play with other kids. There is plenty of time later to learn ABCs and 123s…learning how to play and experience things is more important. Don’t be a helicopter parent,” advises Angie Frederick, a preschool teacher in Fargo, North Dakota.

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35. Be patient while they learn. Jodi Schultz, a mom from Moorhead, Minnesota, has these tips for new parents: “Remember that they have to learn everything. Just because you as an adult think something is easy, they know nothing from birth but how to cry and eat and sleep. Don’t get frustrated and expect them to ‘act older’ than they are.”

Take time away

36. Take time away from baby. Meg Barker, a mom in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, had this to say: “Every baby is different. Relax and enjoy the simple moments. Do not forget to take time for yourself and/or date nights.”

37. Go on date nights. Brittaney van der Hagen is a mother in Fargo, North Dakota. Her advice? “Don’t forget to take care of your relationship with your spouse/significant other. It’s so easy to push that to the side when a baby comes. It’s important to continue to find time for your hubby and vice versa. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Dinner. A movie. A walk around the block! Our motto: Date night is cheaper than a divorce!”

38. Don’t lose your sense of self. It’s easy for parents to become so absorbed in parenting that they lose sense of who they are. I believe it’s absolutely necessary to have interests outside of parenthood, and it is possible to continue to follow your dreams while still being a very hands-on, amazing parent. Whether it’s setting some time aside to do a hobby you love, spend time with friends, exercise, or do work you love, I believe being passionate and excited about something other than your child helps improve both your lives.

Enjoy the journey with your first born

39. Put things into perspective. Heather Stephens, a mom in Fargo, North Dakota, advises new parents, “Keep a perspective on things. Having a newborn not the way parenting is forever. Children move through developmental stages quickly, even though some days feel like forever. Every stage has it’s good, bad and ugly.”

40. Enjoy the awesome journey that is parenthood. As difficult as the sleepness nights and adjustments to welcoming a baby into your life can be, life with kids is an amazing adventure every day, and parenthood is truly awesome. Andria Spaeth, a Grand Forks, North Dakota mother, echoes this sentiment, stating, “Remember that life does not END with baby being born. It’s just the beginning and its better than before.” I definitely agree.

Do you have additional tips you’d like to give to new parents? I’d love to hear them!

Featured photo credit: Newborn Grip/Jason Pratt via flickr.com

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Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

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Published on March 13, 2019

What Makes A Great Place to Work Whilst Pregnant

What Makes A Great Place to Work Whilst Pregnant

Among women who had their first child in the early 1960s, just 44% worked at all during pregnancy. The latest figures show that 66% of mothers who gave birth to their first child between 2006 and 2008 worked during their pregnancy.[1]  It also showed that about eight-in-ten pregnant workers (82%) continued in the workplace until within one month of their first birth which has vastly increased from 35%. It is clear to see form the statical trends that more women are choosing to continue working through, and late into, pregnancy.

Unlike other developed world countries, the USA does not mandate any paid leave for new mothers under federal law,[2] though some individual employers make that accommodation and it is mandated by a handful of individual states. Finding what makes a great workplace whilst pregnant can alleviate stress and provide more stability for you and your family. 

In this article, you will discover exactly the best places to work whilst pregnant.

How Difficult Is It to Work Whilst Pregnant?

Many people strive to find and attain good jobs. For pregnant women, however, that process is often especially challenging. After all, you’ll face extra obstacles that are unique to expectant mothers.

If you are pregnant and need a job, then you’re definitely not alone. You are also not alone if you’re already employed and want to find a new job that is more family-friendly. Changing jobs while pregnant is something that many women consider, especially when they realise that their current positions may not be suitable for pregnancy or offer the benefits or flexibility that they’ll soon need. 

Getting a job while pregnant may not be the easiest thing in the world to do, but it is possible.

You can look for employment opportunities that don’t require too much physical exertion and that won’t cause you much emotional stress. Also, look for jobs that come with the chance to work flexible hours, offer good medical benefits, allow you to take time off as needed, and don’t require a long commute. In addition, it’s obviously wise to consider avoiding jobs that may expose you to toxins, people with communicable illnesses, or other physical hazards.

The Pre-Natal Mamma’s Needs

During pregnancy, there are many mental and physiological changes that a woman will go through. In understanding those changes, it is more clear which types of jobs and workplaces are more suited to you as a pregnant woman. 

During pregnancy, the birth of your baby and the postnatal period, changes in the hormones in your body can have an effect on your emotions during pregnancy. These hormones and the changes can cause joy, fear, surprise and anxiety all of which can be assisted with necessary support and talking. 

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The physiological changes are more varied according to each trimester:

1st Trimester (0-13 weeks)

In the first few weeks following conception, your hormone levels change significantly. Your uterus begins to support the growth of the placenta and the fetus, your body adds to its blood supply to carry oxygen and nutrients to the developing baby, and your heart rate increases.

These changes accompany many of the pregnancy symptoms, such as fatigue, morning sickness, headaches, and constipation. During the first trimester, the risk of miscarriage is significant.

2nd Trimester (13 – 27 weeks)

While the discomforts of early pregnancy should ease off, there are a few new symptoms to get used to. Common complaints include leg cramps and heartburn. You might find yourself growing more of an appetite, and your weight gain will accelerate. 

3rd Trimester (28 weeks – birth)

Travel restrictions take effect during the third trimester. It’s advised that you stay in relatively close proximity to your doctor or midwife in case you go into labor early. The baby is growing bigger and stronger; the kicks can be quite powerful and your abdomen is becoming larger and heavier.

Stretch marks may develop if they haven’t earlier in the pregnancy. Braxton-Hicks contractions- which are usually perceived as painless tightening can be felt. Lower back pain is very common and there may be more pelvic pressure and with this more frequent urination. 

Swollen legs and feet are very common as are increased fatigue, interrupted sleep and a reduced ability to eat a full meal at one sitting.

4th Trimester (Post birth onwards)

Your baby’s fourth trimester starts from the moment she’s born and lasts until she is three months old. The term is used to describe a period of great change and development in your newborn, as she adjusts to her new world outside your womb. There are many adaptations, recovery and rest that you and your baby need through this trimester whether you have a natural or c-section birth.

All of these considerations need to be in mind when looking to find a great workplace whilst pregnant — whether you’re looking to ask for more support from your current workplace, find a new job or enter employment. 

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Next, let’s look at the factors that would define the opposite; somewhere you shouldn’t look to work whilst pregnant.

How to Spot The Worst Workplaces to Work Whilst Pregnant

1. Non-Negotiable Heavy Lifting

Do you have to lift, push, bend, shove, and load materials all day? If you do, many experts believe you should ask for a job reassignment or quit by the 20th week of pregnancy.

2. Toxic Environments

The list of jobs that involve dangerous substances is miles long. Consider the artist who works with paint and solvents all day, the dry cleaner who breathes in cleaning fumes, the agricultural or horticultural worker who works with pesticides, the photographer who uses toxic chemicals to develop pictures, the tollbooth attendant who breathes in car and truck exhaust, or the printer who works with lead substances.

3. Proximity to People with Communicable Illnesses

Working with or exposure to certain bacteria, viruses, or other infectious agents could increase your chances of having a miscarriage, a baby with a birth defect, or other reproductive problems.  Some infections can pass to an unborn baby during pregnancy and cause a miscarriage or birth defect. Infections like seasonal influenza (the flu) and pneumonia can cause more serious illness in pregnant women.

4. Extended Hours of Standing

Cooks, nurses, salesclerks, waiters, police officers, and others, have jobs that keep them on their feet all day. This can be difficult for a pregnant woman, but it might be downright dangerous for her unborn baby. Studies have found that long hours of standing during the last half of pregnancy disrupt the flow of blood.[3]

Key Factors Creating a Great Workplace whilst Pregnant

1. Flexibility

You might feel tired as your body works overtime to support your pregnancy — and resting during the workday can be tough. Having an employer or job that provide care and is understanding to your needs is hugely beneficial.

A compassionate and empathetic employer will understand morning sickness; they will facilitate changes in working hours to accommodate your energy and assist with the smells from the work kitchen. 

They will also enable you to remain flexible to snack as and when you want to – crackers and other bland foods can be lifesavers when you feel nauseated. Nad eating small frequent meals are similarly saving you as your meal quantity decreases.

2. Compassion

More employers are learning that the idea that pregnant women are willing and necessary contributors to the economy and are capable of adding long-term value to their organizations. 

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Employers that follow good practice in maternity can improve the experience of pregnant employees and new mothers and encourage them to return to work following maternity leave.

A good relationship between a pregnant employee and her line manager is essential to the successful reintegration of the employee following maternity leave.

3. Stress Reduced

Stress on the job can sap the energy you need to care for yourself and your baby.

To minimize workplace stress, take control. Make daily to-do lists and prioritise your tasks. Consider what you can delegate to someone else — or eliminate. 

Talk it out. Share frustrations with a supportive co-worker, friend or loved one. 

Practice relaxation techniques, such as breathing slowly or imagining yourself in a calm place. Try a prenatal yoga class, as long as your health care provider says it’s OK.

4. Adaptable

As your pregnancy progresses, everyday activities such as sitting and standing can become uncomfortable. Remember those short, frequent breaks to combat fatigue? Moving around every few hours also can ease muscle tension and help prevent fluid buildup in your legs and feet. 

Using an adjustable chair with good lower back support can make long hours of sitting much easier — especially as your weight and posture change. If your chair isn’t adjustable, use a small pillow or cushion to provide extra support for your back.

Elevate your legs to decrease swelling. If you must stand for long periods of time, put one of your feet up on a footrest, low stool or box. Switch feet every so often and take frequent breaks.

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Wear comfortable shoes with good arch support. Consider wearing support or compression hose, too.

5. Financial Support

Financial strain is one of the leading causes of peri & post natal depression. Employers can support employees by offering them benefits beyond the statutory minimum, for example training mechanisms to help them cope with balancing work and family commitments. 

The employer should conduct a performance review with the employee prior to her maternity leave to boost her confidence and encourage her to consider how parenthood and work will fit together.

Key Take-Aways

If you’re working while you’re pregnant, you need to know your rights to antenatal care, maternity leave and benefits. 

If you have any worries about your health while at work, talk to your doctor, midwife or occupational health nurse. You can also talk to your employer, union representative, or someone in the personnel department (HR) where you work. 

Once you tell your employer that you’re pregnant, they should do a risk assessment with you to see if your job poses any risks to you or your baby. If there are any risks, they have to make reasonable adjustments to remove them. This can include changing your working hours. 

If you work with chemicals, lead or X-rays, or in a job with a lot of lifting, it may be illegal for you to continue to work. In this case, your employer must offer you alternative work on the same terms and conditions as your original job. If there’s no safe alternative, your employer should suspend you on full pay (give you paid leave) for as long as necessary to avoid the risk.

Look for employment opportunities that don’t require too much physical exertion and that won’t cause you much emotional stress. Also, look for jobs that come with the chance to work flexible hours, offer good medical benefits, allow you to take time off as needed, and don’t require a long commute. 

Your current employer may need to offer you different types of work or a change to your working hours. If your employer can’t get rid of the risks (for example by finding other suitable work without any reduction in pay for you), they should offer you suspension on full pay.

Featured photo credit: Alicia Petresc via unsplash.com

Reference

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