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5 Lies That Stop You From Leading Your Best Life

5 Lies That Stop You From Leading Your Best Life

Many of us live in denial.

We try to listen to the opinions of other people and concern ourselves with what they think about us. We revel in trying to tailor our lives to the expectations of others. But how far can this get you, and will the end result be fulfilling? It’s possible you need to start facing the hard truths of what makes you a unique and interesting being, rather than letting the thoughts and opinions of others shape your views.

It is time to live the life you were meant to live: an awesome life. To do this you need to start ignoring these lies:

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Success is the opposite of failure

People often feel that if you have failed at a venture or a project, you can’t really be considered successful. They want you to try to focus your energies on not being a failure, convincing you that playing it safe in life is what brings success.

Real talk: failure isn’t the opposite of success but actually an integral part of becoming successful. People who have succeeded have failed a number of times before they became the success that they are today. You either you learn from failure and keep moving- or you allow it to consume you in a destructive manner.

“I am too old for that”

People tend to associate accomplishments with a certain age. It’s true that you need to be a certain age to get a degree, get married, or pursue some very specific ventures. This, combined with to age-related stereotypes, makes it easy to feel that you are simply the wrong person for the job you want- or that taking risks would make you look foolish.

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Real talk: you shouldn’t be consumed with the fear that you have to be a certain age to gain success in life. Everyone has their own timeline, and you are never too old or too young to accomplish what you really want to do in life. For example, Nelson Mandela became president of South Africa when he was 76. Colonel Sanders started KFC when he was 61. Age doesn’t have to be a barrier.

“If only I had [….] I would be happy”

It seems for many people, being happy is always tied to acquiring certain possessions and items. Yet no matter how many things you attain, having something will always push you to want something else.

Real talk: appreciating things the way they are will lead you to contentment and happiness. Rather than complain or whine about the troubles in your life, why don’t you start offering thanks for all the troubles that you don’t have? Being consumed with wanting to have this or that could blind you to appreciating the things that are of value that you already have. Learn to be grateful and you will find happiness.

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“Other people are better off than me”

You think that your friends who you went to school with, and the people you grew up with, are already leading fulfilled and exciting lives- and you’re not. There must be something wrong with you for not becoming like them, right?

Real talk: truthfully, no one has it better than you. If you are not as successful as others in terms of wealth or financial status, it doesn’t mean you haven’t excelled in your own unique way in life. Everyone has a different identity and accepting who you are will show you that you don’t have to perceive others as being better than you.

You have to be like every other person to be happy

You have to follow the same course every other person is taking to be happy. You have to go to school, get a degree, get a job, get married and have kids to be the person society expects you to be. This is conventional thinking, but what about your own inner validation?

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Real talk: your happiness doesn’t depend on fitting whatever happens to be considered ‘normal’ today. You don’t have to be like every other person, do what they do, or take the same route to a destination. Rather you have to be you. You have to identify your own uniqueness.

Besides, not everything is always as it seems- life could have a way of tutoring you through providing unexpected paths for you to walk.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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