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5 Life Lessons We Can All Learn From New Mothers

5 Life Lessons We Can All Learn From New Mothers

New mothers face a ton of challenges when they settle into their new life as a parent. They’re often left to figure it out and find solutions on their own. They end up becoming better people who are more organised, authentic, and fun as a result.

Here’s five life lessons plenty of new mothers have learned (often the hard way) on their journey into parenthood, that absolutely everyone can benefit from.

1. Put yourself first (as much as you can)

This isn’t exactly what you’d expect a mother to say, right? Of course, babies and toddlers have needs that cannot be ignored, but so do adults. For a mother of a newborn, squeezing in time for a quick shower in the morning can set her up for a great (although probably still sleep-deprived) day. Some simple self-care like a quick meditation, a nap, or a tea break can work wonders too!

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2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Being a parent is hard work. Let’s honor that. Moms sign up for the toughest job in the world, but that doesn’t mean they’ve got to do it all on their own. Moms can (and should) shamelessly enlist the help and support of their friends, family, teachers, nannies, cleaners, or babysitters to help lighten the load.

Moms (and the rest of us) can benefit from being open to assistance from others, even if they’re paid professionals. The same goes for accepting gifts. New Moms get A LOT of presents, and they usually gratefully accept them. We can all benefit from saying “Yes” to things, people, and help that will make our lives easier.

3. Turn up the BS filter

If anyone has time restraints, it’s mothers! The less time you have in your life, the less bull***t you’re able to tolerate. I can’t believe how much time I wasted before having my daughter. With the all the online shopping, playing games, watching boring TV reruns, gossiping, and Facebook, I was out of control.

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Now that I have less time, I actually achieve more than I ever did before. Most importantly, I put a stop to the BS before it gets out of control. I say “No” to people who waste my time. I don’t even answer the doorbell for door-to-door sales people anymore — true story!

4. Find a balance between being organized and being spontaneous

Some children need routines, which require Moms to be ridiculously organized. All children need a certain level of organization just to get them dressed, fed, and in the car. However, routines can be a real drag if you were used to spontaneous living before having kids.

Modern Moms know how essential it is to keep our impulsive spirit alive. We’re doing it at every opportunity, whether it be through animated play with our children or calling in the cavalry so we can have a night off with the girls.

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5. Don’t let life get in the way of staying in touch with your real friends

Good friends are with you for life. Unfortunately, they’re often the first people to get neglected when you become a new Mom.

Lost in the overwhelming world of new motherhood, many of us turn to mother’s groups and play dates as a way to connect with others and make the days easier. Some of us are even lucky enough to find lasting friendships from these activities.

However, we soon learn that our long-standing friends are irreplaceable. The people who have known us for the longest have stuck around for a reason: They love us unconditionally.

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What life lessons have you learned from the incredible new Moms in your life?

Featured photo credit: abarefoot via albumarium.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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