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20 Things All Mothers Need to Hear

20 Things All Mothers Need to Hear

You never know how strong you are until you have no other choice but to be strong. 

Take a moment to step back from your life. You don’t get much time to do that these days, so treat yourself for just a minute.

When you step back, what do you see? Craziness? Fogginess? Don’t worry; you’re not alone. You’re right there with all of the other exhausted new mothers who have no idea how they will get through another day with only two hours of uninterrupted sleep.

It’s okay though; you have a beautiful baby to owe all of the craziness in your life to, and that somehow makes it all good.

There are times though that it seems as though you’re not making it. The baby may be crying uncontrollably, your boobs are sore, and you just want to sleep. It’s in those moments that you should take a step back, take a time out, and remember YOU ARE SUPERMOM.

1. You Created a Human Being

Do you get how huge that is? Your body is the one that grew your baby from a tiny cell. It’s your body that gave a human life. It’s all you. You are the one that went through the pain. You’re the one that is still recovering from the trauma. You completed one of the most sacred and important tasks there is.

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2. You Are a Good Mom

First things first, you ARE a good mom. Your baby is healthy and happy. You’ve got the two most important things about motherhood covered. Even when things are hard, remember that you’ve got this!

3. You Rock It Without Sleep

The Sleep Foundation recommends that adults (26-64 years) sleep 7-9 hours a night. After you stop laughing, realize that you’re rocking it as a mom on only a fraction of those hours.

Don’t believe you’re rocking it? Well, are you stumbling over to your baby in the middle of the night? Are you feeding your baby? You’re awesome. When you’re especially exhausted tell yourself this, “I take care of my baby, and I get about the same amount of sleep as my neighbor’s afternoon nap.”

4. You’ve Never Appreciated Your Friends and Family More

Whether you’re a single mother or have a partner to share the joy and burdens with, no one compares to the support and love of friends and family. These are the people that are always there to offer a supportive hand or listening ear. You’re lucky to have them.

5. You Don’t Have to Listen to Every Opinion

Motherhood is synonymous with unsolicited advice. Know that even if opinions are given with the best of intentions, you don’t have to listen to them all. You’re navigating this motherhood thing instinctually, and with the advice of a few well-selected advisors.

6. You’ll Never Stop Worrying

You know the feeling you experienced right after the intense joy of delivering your baby? That feeling was worry and it’s never going away. Just learn to embrace and manage the worry and you’ll do just fine.

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7. You Won’t Ruin Your Child’s Life

Are you afraid that your personal brand of parenting will irrevocably damage your children to the point of no return? You won’t ruin them. No child grows up with the picturesque childhood. Making parenting mistakes is normal and expected. Stop stressing about being the perfect mother and remember that you’re doing your best.

8. Your Mommy Instincts Are Right on Track

You know what cry signifies hunger, sleep or pain; you have your baby’s schedule down pat; you know when your baby has a common cold or something more. Congrats mom, your instincts are right on point.

9. You Have Super Boobs

Whether you’re nursing or not, you have super boobs. Those heavy, slightly sagging breasts of yours have stored fat for your baby, and for those of you breastfeeding, they are providing your baby food. Awesome job mommy!

Go out and find a bra that fits the size you are now – it’s all good. The only person you’re impressing these days is your baby, and he or she could care less what your chest looks like right now.

10. You Care More Than Anyone

Your baby’s life is full of people that love him! That’s wonderful! However, that doesn’t mean that sometimes you’ll just want to be alone with your baby. Why? Because you are always striving to strengthen the bond you have with your baby.

11. You Are Allowed to Feel Overwhelmed

Your life has completely changed with the arrival of your child. Your child is without a doubt the light of your life, but things are different now. Aside from the physical changes to your body and the exhaustion you’re experiencing, the purpose of your life has changed. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. You’ll grow accustomed to your new life in no time.

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12. You Deserve a Break

You do a lot all day and all night long. You are working harder than you’ve ever worked in your life, and for that reason, you deserve a break.

Allow yourself to breathe sometimes. Go for a walk, get a pedicure, or take a bath. Alone time will make you a better mother.

13. You Can’t Protect Them From Everything

Life is meant to be experienced, mom. That means life for your little one, too! It’s impossible to protect your children from every form of adversity they are sure to face during their lives. We all learn from tough times, and your babies will too.

14. You Are Powerful

Caring for your new baby is the most overwhelming and joyous thing on this earth. You’re able to do it on 4 hours of sleep while managing everything else on your plate. You couldn’t do that if you weren’t a super hero. Even when you feel weak, know that you are as strong as it gets.

15. You Need to Give Your Body a Break

You feel disappointed with your post-baby body and it’s really getting you down.  Instead of feeling sad, understand that you grew a human being in that body of yours. Look at it with pride because you did an amazing thing!

16. You Should Be Insanely Proud

You made a human being. Your little baby could grow up to be someone that saves people’s lives or rules a nation. You never know…and you know what? It all started with you. If it wasn’t for you, your little baby wouldn’t be on this Earth right now. Good job mama!

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17. You Appreciate Your Own Mom More Than Ever

You finally understand the struggle she went through! Now that you’re a mom, you understand and appreciate your own more than ever! And you tell her every time you call her in the middle of the night with another question about the baby.

18. You Are Doing Great

Sometimes you might feel like giving up on this whole motherhood thing. Don’t worry – all moms feel like this at one point or another. Just know that you’re giving your baby love, a safe and happy home, and a caring family, and that’s more than enough.

19. Your Child Loves You

You know that almost unbearable love you feel for your child? You child loves you just as much. Loves you even when you ran the bath a little too cold, loves you even though you served cereal for dinner two times in a row this week, loves you even when you’re frustrated.  So never worry about whether or not your baby loves you.

20. You’ll Figure it All Out

You might not get all of your parenting questions answered until the day before your last child leaves for college, but you will get it all figured out. Parenting is a long and winding road with plenty of ridiculous twists and turns. And if you ask any mom, she’ll tell you it’s the only ride worth all the trouble.

Featured photo credit: Mother with her baby playing with pet on the floor at the kitchen at home via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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