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8 Life Lessons You Learn When Growing Up

8 Life Lessons You Learn When Growing Up

“Experience is a hard teacher, it gives the test first and the lessons after.” -Vernon Sanders

1. We all realize growing up has its negatives.

When we were younger, doing grown up things looked so much better than the things we were doing. Grown-ups slept when they wanted, ate what they wanted and bought what they wanted. Who wouldn’t want that, right? Life was rough because we had a bed time (which was too early), we had to eat all of our food (which was gross because it wasn’t candy), and we only could buy what we could afford with our allowance (which came in form of coins and cash instead of those awesome plastic cards adults had).

Now that we are older, we all wish that we could go back to childhood where everything was simple. The biggest problem we had at five was the skinned knee we had and the McDonald’s we couldn’t eat. The late nights we spent up make us exhausted at work, the junk food we eat make us fat, and that little plastic card we saw mom and dad use come back around and ask for the money back.

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2. We all still have to deal with people we can’t stand.

When we were younger, we had to be nice to the kids our parent’s friends brought over. We needed to share our toys, go to theme parks and go to movies with them. Growing up doesn’t change that. You will have to deal with the kids you don’t like in school when working on projects, smile at rude people when you work as an adult, and smile at your spouse’s boss and their family while having them over for dinner. Why? Because that is the way people “adult” and it makes the world go round.

There is a positive side, being an adult does give you the opportunity to spend your free time you actually like. (There will always be an annoying coworker though…)

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3. We all have problems that we go through, will make us stronger…only if we let it.

Everyone  has problems and we need to keep that in mind when it feels like our world comes crashing to a fiery end. We all have some sort of issue going on that we need to power through in order to become a stronger person. Whether it be that one heartbreak we all have gone through or that credit card company we say yes to, these problems are in our lives to make us stronger people. Personal, professional, mental, and physical problems teach us just how strong we can be.

4. When life seems to be predictable and easy, it will send you a curve ball.

When we think that we are a strong enough person because our life is free of problems, that is when it hits us. Growing up means that something is always around the corner. All you can do is take the time to count your blessings and prepare for the future without worrying too much.

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5. We find out that making our own decisions can be awesome…at times.

Your life as an adult will consist of countless decisions you have to make and some of them (the majority of them) will have consequences. Choosing to go out with some friends on thirsty Thursday will leave you suffering a hangover on Friday morning. Buying a TV means that there won’t be wiggle room for extra bills at the end of the month. Sometimes we think, it was easier to make decisions when your parents just gave you two to choices.

6. We find out that friends can disappoint you.

We all have that one friend that our parents warned us about or didn’t like and for good reason. We all have been let down or disappointed in someone we thought was a good friend.  Unfortunately, it is possible that you will be left behind for something better. This is just how people are sometimes and these disappointments will always happen no matter how much you try to avoid them.

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On the bright side, your adult friendships may be stronger than ever once you have experience picking out good friends and detecting warning signs before you get hurt.

7. We discover our parents aren’t so bad after all.

When we were younger, our parents seemed like the bad guys. They gave us curfews, they made us get jobs and they got upset every time our grades dropped. Part of growing up is realizing that parents are actually looking out for us.Hopefully, you are one of the lucky ones that is able to establish a solid relationship with their parents during your adult life.

8. We find that sometimes in life, we have to go with the flow.

All in all, we all must just go with the flow of life because it is unpredictable. There are so many variables that can affect the situations we encounter each and every day. The good does outweigh the bad, especially when we all take the time to count our blessings.

Featured photo credit: I don’t want to grow up -Harriet Moar-Smith via flickr.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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